Author Topic: Befuddling Child Utterances (Read 40423 times)

Panoramix · « **Reply #750 on:** July 09, 2012, 01:05:46 PM »

Quote from: Cudzoziemiec on July 08, 2012, 06:54:19 PM

That's nice! And I can sympathise with her, I used to try to use English place names in their English version in Polish sentences but it's really difficult - "London" for "Londyn" in Polish context just doesn't flow!

Yes but I think that Espanish and Espanol in her head are too different things!

Dinamo · « **Reply #751 on:** July 17, 2012, 07:30:27 AM »

Mini Dinamo is learning a new song at pre-school at the moment .......

"Alice the camel has 5 humps,
Alice the camel has 4 humps, etc"

However the way it sounds when she sings it is quite amusing .....

"Alaistair Campbell has 5 homes ......"

tiermat · « **Reply #752 on:** July 17, 2012, 08:15:41 AM »

Whilst in the car the other day, TLD had her iPod on and was singing along.

Some of the words she got a little wrong though, I am sure it's not:

"Do it like a Mandarin"*

*Jessie J - Do It Like A Dude

Paul · « **Reply #753 on:** July 17, 2012, 08:45:47 AM »

Iron Man: "I love you Captain America."

Cap: "I love you Iron Man."

(With Dylan, 3, in the role of Iron Man, and me as Cap. Dylan was very seriously in role at the weekend. He has an IM costume and, when he was also wearing the helmet/mask, would only respond when addressed as IM. If he took the mask off, we had to call him Tony!)

Cudzoziemiec · « **Reply #754 on:** July 18, 2012, 10:23:58 AM »

My son and his friend telling each other jokes:
What is a snail?
It's a three-legged bail.

little miss mac · « **Reply #755 on:** July 18, 2012, 11:11:25 AM »

According to Minimac and his pal this weekend, the funniest joke in the world, ever, is as follows:

Why did the banana cross the road?
To get to poo-poo land.

There then followed half an hour of variations on a theme.

PaulF · « **Reply #756 on:** July 25, 2012, 07:39:10 AM »

Wife son had been house/cat sitting for some friends. When I asked him he'd played with the cats he answered "No, they just don't seem to care".

I think he gets cats!

Arch · « **Reply #757 on:** July 31, 2012, 07:51:38 PM »

My sister is encouraging my nephews to watch suitable sports on the Olympics - men's swimming, men's diving, men's gymnastics (can you see a pattern?

)

Anyway, when she told Oli they were going to watch gymnastics, he said "oh, I love the jurassic!"

Arch · « **Reply #758 on:** July 31, 2012, 09:28:53 PM »

Also...

Last week, Oli heard a woman talking in the next door neighbour's garden and told his Mum,

"I just heard MFWHTBAB's* best friend!"

My sister was a bit bemused, and said "Do you mean Auntie Sue?"

"Yes!"

Feels like I've been demoted slightly, although I'm happy to be MFWHTBAB's best friend, I thought Auntie might trump that....

*only using his real name, of course.

Arch · « **Reply #759 on:** August 04, 2012, 11:05:43 PM »

Not an utterance, as such...

Just texting with my sister and she said:

"Max has invented his own sport. Slight run, slight jump, then fall over and pretend to fall asleep. He managed his personal best today."

(Max is 2 and a half).

Cudzoziemiec · « **Reply #760 on:** August 13, 2012, 07:51:59 PM »

Once they're a bit older, kids often say things they know "don't make sense" but do indicate a slightly different way of perceiving the world. These are from a recent train journey:

"Giant black marshmallows! Yum!"
(bails of hay wrapped in black plastic)

"Volcanoes!"
(power station cooling towers)

Panoramix · « **Reply #761 on:** August 16, 2012, 12:13:48 PM »

Overheard at the zoo:

Child: Whouaou, a tiger. Can tigers eat humans?
Dad: Yes they can.
Child: Do they give them people to eat everyday?

Eccentrica Gallumbits · « **Reply #762 on:** August 16, 2012, 08:42:31 PM »

clarion · « **Reply #763 on:** August 16, 2012, 09:30:54 PM »

Only when they want to reduce the unemployment figures...

RJ · « **Reply #764 on:** August 16, 2012, 09:32:13 PM »

I thought that was otter hounds

mrcharly · « **Reply #765 on:** August 17, 2012, 04:31:42 PM »

"I didn't hear you. I was too busy looking in the window of the porn shop."

pawnbrokers, natch

Jaded · « **Reply #766 on:** August 29, 2012, 09:11:45 AM »

Overheard in an ironmongery. "Mummy, there's amber wellies in this shop."

Unlikely, considering it is in north west Scotland. They did have umbrellas though.

tiermat · « **Reply #767 on:** August 29, 2012, 11:02:33 AM »

As we were driving home the other day..

TLD:"There was someone coming out of the prison on crutches"
We had just driven past the local YOI.
ME:"Really?"
TLD:"Yes, they must have been in there for kicking someone"

Natural justice, isn't it?

Arch · « **Reply #768 on:** August 31, 2012, 12:04:28 PM »

Nephew Max (2.5) is a little careless about consonants - a cuddle is a cuggle and so on.

I'm "Andy Sue".

Arch · « **Reply #769 on:** August 31, 2012, 07:20:53 PM »

Watching Prehistoric Park with Oli, the hero is swimming in a swamp with a huge carboniferous amphibian.

Me: I wouldn't like to be swimming there with that thing.
Oli: I would swim there. If it bit me, I'd poke it in the eye with some tweezers.
Me: Would you take tweezers swimming?
Oli: Yes, I'd hide them in my ear.

That's alright then.

Arch · « **Reply #770 on:** September 25, 2012, 09:19:04 PM »

Reported to me by my Mum:

Oli was watching something on telly about the Medieval, in a castle, and the voice over said something about "This was in 1645..."

Oli turned to his mum and said "That's nearly as old as Grandma!"

She doesn't know whether to be $:-\$ or

Tewdric · « **Reply #771 on:** September 25, 2012, 09:37:34 PM »

Brother-in-law's wedding last weekend.

Registrar: "If anyone here knows of any lawful impediment to this marriage, they should declare it now."

Tomos, age 2¾, with immaculate comic timing: "Daddy!"

Flatus the Almighty · « **Reply #772 on:** September 25, 2012, 10:23:15 PM »

Mrs Flatus to 2 3/4 year old Flatulina, on noticing she was poking her finger up her arse,at bath time

"Don't do that, it's horrid"

Flatulina: "No its not. It's nice"

Lou Boutin · « **Reply #773 on:** September 29, 2012, 10:46:42 AM »

Can I put a befuddled colleague utterance here? Standing outside waiting a taxi in the rain, we are passed by a young woman carrying a bird cage umbrella.

Me to slightly younger female colleague: oooh that reminds me of walking to school with my mum. I used to have one on those type of umbrellas.

Slightly younger female colleague: had they invented umbrellas when you went to school?

Me: errr yes, I went to school in the 1970s, not the 1790s.

Colleague: ok right.

For goodness sake, she's only 10 years younger than me. The way she approaches our age difference you would think my previous job was tending animals on the ark!

andyoxon · « **Reply #774 on:** October 23, 2012, 08:07:43 AM »

mini ao (11) to me this am. " Did you hear Neil Armstrong has been stripped of all his cycling titles?"...