How do you make scrambled eggs?

[citoyen]

I like celeriac. I especially like it in rémoulade. I can imagine it might work in scrambled eggs. Celery stalks though...

True, but Celeriac isn't from edible celery and edible celery root isn't edible. They are varieties, thobut.

It's really very simple: if we're talking about the stalks, none of them are edible.

[Ham]

It's really very simple: if we're talking about the stalks, none of them are edible.

Soffritto.

Game, set, match.

[ian]

It's the root of a variety of celery, I thought?

True, but Celeriac isn't from edible celery and edible celery root isn't edible. They are varieties, thobut.

You can eat normal celery root, there's just not much to it. They are indeed varieties of the same thing. I actually like celery stalks, but celeriac makes me fart in a way that's not just dangerous for me but for those around me and would register as a major disturbance in the force.

Celery seeds aren't seeds really, they're little celery fruit that have been dried.

[citoyen]

Soffritto.

Sure - celery as a base ingredient, cooked until it is no longer celery-like in nature... that's fine.

Celery when it is still identifiable as celery is simply unacceptable. I will not be moved on this.

[hatler]

As a kid celery stalks with a sliver of cheddar cheese in them was wonderful. I still indulge myself with that combo. You don't know what you're missing.   

[ian]

That's where it's at, but please, a chunk of cheddar (I'll accept Red Leicester), none of this sliver business.

[Cudzoziemiec]

Wot ian said, but not so keen on the red Leicester. Cheshire or Wensleydale might be good.

[Jaded]

At school it tasted better if the caterpillars were removed.

[pcolbeck]

As a kid celery stalks with a sliver of cheddar cheese in them was wonderful. I still indulge myself with that combo. You don't know what you're missing.   

Surely it should be Primula from a tube piped down the middle. That's what my mum used to do for dinner parties anyway.

[ian]

That works too. I think you used to be able to get cheddar cheese spread too. You had to trowel cheese with a spoon to get an even finish level with the edges of the celery.

Not that we ever had dinner parties. Sometimes we'd all out to burn some rubbish in a field though.

[citoyen]

Wot ian said, but not so keen on the red Leicester.

Red Leicester is just cheddar with food colouring, isn't it?

[ian]

Basically. It's traditionally coloured with annatto, which is, erm, grown widely in the Leicestershires.

I have a big block of annatto in the spice cupboard (I tend not to read the pack size, hence the 5kg bag of MSG). It makes your fingers very orange.

[Cudzoziemiec]

Wot ian said, but not so keen on the red Leicester.

Red Leicester is just cheddar with food colouring, isn't it?

It's very mild. But then that's the sort of cheddar ian likes. I don't.

[citoyen]

It's very mild. But then that's the sort of cheddar ian likes. I don't.

I've occasionally had 'artisanal' Red Leicester that actually tasted of something, but the standard supermarket version is generic cheese-shaped object, distinguishable from other cheese-shaped objects only by its colour.

[ian]

Wot ian said, but not so keen on the red Leicester.

Red Leicester is just cheddar with food colouring, isn't it?

It's very mild. But then that's the sort of cheddar ian likes. I don't.

I do eat mature cheddar – if I'm making a cheese sauce, it'll be number 7. But for sandwiches, I'm a mild cheese man.

Generally though, my thoughts on more exotic cheeses are well-known, and that I'm funk-averse.

I was super-brave – you'd all be surprised – and ate a random piece of unclassified cheese Foreignland recently. It wasn't awful, even though it looked a bit grey, and for some reason they'd dipped the end in honey, which was some seriously messed up shit so I scraped it off and gave the cheese a bit of a polish clean with my napkin.

[Slave To The Viking]

Scrambling eggs...the basic starting point for me is to melt a knob of butter in a small frying pan on a low/moderate heat, beat eggs with salt and pepper, pour them into the pan and sweep a fork or spatula through them repeatedly until they're set but a bit wobbly - obviously cooked, but as though very thinly coated in a light sauce.

But...

Cooking them in a pan that's recently been used for bacon is rather fine too. Finely chopped chorizo instead of the butter, and finely chopped green chillies instead of the pepper, is also a marvellous alternative. Or just the chorizo, or just the chillies. Oh, green chillies and eggs, how they delight me...

Or using a tin of kippers instead of the knob of butter, and bashing them about until fragmented, then adding the seasoned beaten eggs. Usually consumed directly from the pan with a fork, accompanied by swearing, derision and eye rolling from whomsoever may have noticed what I'm doing.

[citoyen]

Cooking them in a pan that's recently been used for bacon is rather fine too. Finely chopped chorizo instead of the butter, and finely chopped green chillies instead of the pepper, is also a marvellous alternative. Or just the chorizo, or just the chillies. Oh, green chillies and eggs, how they delight me...

I like the cut of your jib. I also very much agree on green chillis and eggs.

[ian]

Chilis are fine. Also fine herbs, which are very fine. Maybe with a bit of grated parmesan.

Sadly, I don't eat pigs. Less sad for them, I imagine.

[andrewc]

Diced bacon, a pinch of chilli flakes & finely chopped parsley.

[citoyen]

For anyone who likes the chilli/egg combo, I heartily recommend the Dishoom Kejriwal, which has the added bonus of cheese as well - recipe available here:
https://www.theguardian.com/food/2020/apr/17/do-it-like-dishoom-favourite-dishes-from-uk-restaurants-to-cook-at-home

This has quickly become a family favourite brunch dish round here.

[Jurek]

I threw half of a very finely chopped chorizo sausage into my scrambled egg mix on Sunday morning.
The other half of the sausage will be doing the same as a contribution to my lunch this Wednesday.

[Cudzoziemiec]

Yesterday morning I was at my cousin's. He made us poached eggs for breakfast. I've never really known how to begin with poached eggs, every time I've tried it's just ended up a mess. "It's easy" said he, "I have this device you fill with water and pop it in the microwave." He in contrast is never sure how long to do boiled eggs. He was going to show me this labour-saving culinary device but we ran out of time. An Amazon courier has just called and delivered one!

[citoyen]

I find the single most important factor by far with poached eggs is the freshness of the eggs.

Perhaps subconsciously inspired by this thread, I had chorizo and scrambled eggs for breakfast yesterday - diced the chorizo and cooked it slowly in the pan for a while to crisp it up a bit, then stirred in the eggs and a knob of butter. Divine. Would have added fresh chilli if we'd had some in, but the chorizo was pretty spicy as it was.

[Feanor]

I find the single most important factor by far with poached eggs is the freshness of the eggs.

Perhaps subconsciously inspired by this thread, I had chorizo and scrambled eggs for breakfast yesterday - diced the chorizo and cooked it slowly in the pan for a while to crisp it up a bit, then stirred in the eggs and a knob of butter. Divine. Would have added fresh chilli if we'd had some in, but the chorizo was pretty spicy as it was.

I did *exactly* the same 2 days ago, for the same reasons.
I was also out of green chillies, so I added a few flakes of dried chillies to the egg mix.

[Feanor]

I just did a Dishoom Kejriwal (as posted by citoyen earlier) for lunch. It was this: Nom.
(Ditched the ketchup, though!)

I commend the recipe to the house.


Dishoom Kejriwal by Ron Lowe, on Flickr


Dishoom Kejriwal by Ron Lowe, on Flickr