Current family status

[paddyirish]

Two young kids (10 and 6), so very rarely do long rides at weekends.  Try to limit them to 2-3 per year, including one when on holiday and they generally are in exchange for my wife doing an art course or similar. But kids are growing up and I have done up to 50km with my eldest (shewas super-motivated as the ride took in 3 countries and a ferry journey) and 25 with the youngest.

What I can do is long commutes- 2 days a week my wife is at home, so I have no pick-up or drop off commitments.  If I get out by 4am one day a month, I can do 100km and be at my desk for 9.  I love riding at night and now with VeloViewer exploring, I can target more tiles.
I also try to do a 50-60km ride once a week before work- a more civilised start time of 6am, but no new VeloViewer tiles reachable in that time any more.

A couple of well-timed cups of coffee at work and an early night soon after the kids go to bed, mean that they can be completely unaware that I've been out.  My body seems to give out on the 20km ride home, by which time I've been up for 15 hrs and done a days work, but it is good training for 200km rides.

Have also taken to running as I can sh@g myself out in much less time than cycling...  Kids cycle to school- I run with them and then take a scenic route home.   Again little cost to family life.

[drossall]

I have a tolerant family, but balance for us means maybe one Audax a month; for one thing, I have some volunteering that takes weekends as well. At that level, I struggle to get beyond 100km. In reality, that's one a month during autumn and winter, a bit of a peak around now, when there are lots of shorter events, and then relatively little in summer, when the events are all longer. With luck, the extra March events will get me fit enough for one or two 200km events around the end of this month.

My all-out cycling was in student days and just after, before we were married. As a student, I raced up to five times a week. When the kids were young, I managed on riding one club 10 a week, riding to work, and not too much else. Then, as any speed I had ever had (not much, in reality) faded, I discovered Audaxes.

[giropaul]

As others have said, many families have a parent who is away a lot. In the war some children never saw their fathers until they were several years old. I know a lovely family in which the father is away somewhere secret and out of contact ( submarines) for long periods. The mother still rides and races her bike as well ( with extended family and friend support). Professional cyclists are away for months on races, training camps etc. I was involved in pro cycling for many years so away almost every weekend, and worked late other times. My kids seem to have grown up as responsible, stable and successful people - who have a very strong work ethic - they saw that work was important.
For what it’s worth, my personal view is that families run around children, rather than run around respecting everyone’s needs and wants, doesn’t long term do the children any favours.

[Butterfly]

We have one 5 year old and 2 grown up. We were never fast and the most I have ever ridden in a day is about 108 miles. Before the 5 year old came along we did a few overnight rides and 100s as well as touring 30 - 60 + miles per day, partly guided by what the middle one was up for (he has lived with us full time since he was 13, prior to that we had him at weekends and worked around that). We stopped riding any distance almost entirely when I had the now 5 year old, partly due to his needs but also due to clarion suffering injuries and changing circumstances in other areas. We will get back to it when things settle down, but it is rare that we do much separately and we never leave N with other people, so he has to be accommodated in what we do.

I would look at what you can do with your children rather than without. At 13 and 14 my stepson toured with us and enjoyed it. At 16, he rarely got on his bike, unless we were doing a 100k - he did an overnight 100k on fixed having barely ridden that month. He liked the challenge, but not the everyday riding.

[tom_e]

As others have said, many families have a parent who is away a lot. In the war some children never saw their fathers until they were several years old. I know a lovely family in which the father is away somewhere secret and out of contact ( submarines) for long periods. The mother still rides and races her bike as well ( with extended family and friend support). Professional cyclists are away for months on races, training camps etc. I was involved in pro cycling for many years so away almost every weekend, and worked late other times. My kids seem to have grown up as responsible, stable and successful people - who have a very strong work ethic - they saw that work was important.
For what it’s worth, my personal view is that families run around children, rather than run around respecting everyone’s needs and wants, doesn’t long term do the children any favours.

All true enough, though in many cases this was facilitated by Woman who brings up the children while Man goes to work.  For better or worse, many of us nowadays are in a different situation: where both parents work full time, kids do at least some childcare hours, and we want to share out the remaining time as best we can.   Thankfully of course, kids seem to cope great with a whole range of upbringing.  As long as everyone is getting a fair deal and nobody left unconsidered (including the adults), there is plenty of room for differences.

[The French Tandem]

I know people with no kids who never leave their partner's side outside of work hours.

I know mums who spend far more time on sport/hobbies than you do.

Your post seems to be asking what is normal, or possibly average. There IS no average family. Normal is not the norm!

Yes and no. Although I agree that there is no such thing as an average family or even an average person, take a look at the demographics on an event like PBP or LEL.  My feeling is that the groups of, say, "under 30", and "over 50" are over-represented compared to the overall population, while the group "between 30 and 50" seems to be under-represented. Of course, I have no strong stats to back up my claim, it's just an impression, but it's very tempting to say that people in the ages where you often have younger children tends to have less time for long distance cycling!

This is at least our case,  a family of four, the two happily married parents riding the same bicycle as the forum name suggests. We cycled a lot when we had no children, and as long as the children were young enough to be happily cared for by family/friends, etc during our occasionnal long rides. Then for the last 6/7 years, our cycling reached minimalist proportions, mostly due to family duties,  but we expect very soon, when the children will still be at home, but old enough to care for themselves, to resume long distance cycling.

A
 

[mattc]

"demographics" are just another form of averages

(who cares what other people "in the same demographic" do?? As my Mum used to say "if everyone else jumped off a cliff, would YOU do it?? "

Most people in my demographic don't ride a bike!

[The French Tandem]

Who asked you to jump off a cliff? Certainly not me! The fact that older /younger people are over/under represented in some activities is just a plain fact that can be easily observed. No one said you were forced or prohibited to do anything because other people off similar age do or don't do that!

Alain

[telstarbox]

Ne pas nourrir le troll

[L CC]

I didn't have 4 children to let other people to look after them. I took up audax when I was divorced- it seemed a pretty time filing activity for when they spent the weekend with their dad.

I think I probably spent more time cycling than they would have liked- more than one family row contained a child telling me she hated me and that I loved my bike(s) more than them.

What matters more, your children or your cycling? In 20 years time, what will you be prouder of, spending the weekend on your bike dragging your sorry arse round some wet Welsh weekend? The welsh hills will still be there when your kids have left home.
The obverse to that, of course, is that if you cycle to escape, what kind of parent are you if you don't have that time.

Solo long distance cycling is incredibly self indulgent.

[mattc]

Ne pas nourrir le troll

If you think that _I_ am trolling, monsieur, then vouz ne comprendez pas, I'm afraid!

[mrcharly-YHT]

I'm somewhat torn atm.

Not over cycling, but training, and racing, for another sport.

Ideally, I'd train 3-4  times a week. 1.5hrs most sessions, up to 3hours for one long session.

Then a race every 2-3 weeks. The races are not local, so that means a car drive (haven't got to that stage yet).

Even fitting in training is difficult now that MrsC has moved down to live with me. She isn't here all the time, she tries to get to see her (ill) mother and her daughter as much as possible. But when she is here, I feel the pressure to get back home. If I go training, I don't get home until 9pm weeknights. If I do a weekend long paddle, currently that is most of a day.

[ian]

Just introduce them to Fortnite. You could be gone for a month or two before they notice.

[rob]

I do a lot of hours on the bike but half of those, weekly, are commuting.   When we had a child I had to make a few decisions and lifestyle changes.   I’m probably home about the same amount of time and I now work far less hours than I used to.

I’m pretty present at the school and know all of the teachers.   There’s some Dad’s there I have never even met as they’re always away with work.   I just got back from a, albeit early, parents evening where we were in the minority having both parents there.

[Cudzoziemiec]

My current family status is multi-ethnic: black, white and red.

Oh sorry, current not currant!

[Adam]

My children are now grown up and have been booted out bribed to get their own places.  However, when they were young, there was a certain conflict, so I got round it to a large extent by either going out very early in the morning, or doing night rides (see FNRttC), meaning I could not be blamed for always being out of the house when domestic duties required a responsible adult.

[Pedal Castro]

When my kids were very young my cycling was part of my job, three games afternoons a week and the occasional weekend race. Then I moved to a day school and pretty much stopped cycling for 20 years until one of my now grown up daughters suggested we go on a cycle tour together. Early on in that 20 year hiatus I did teach the kids how to ride and took them out for small local rides.

[mzjo]

Sorry I've come to this a bit late.

I cycled with my first wife. I used to marathon race kayaks but she didn't care for sitting in the car waiting for the race to end. Cycling (touring) was different although I never got her to a tt when I competed. We had a lot of pleasure on an old tandem. It didn't stop the marriage breaking up though.

My second wife does not cycle (once tried the tandem, 20 very gentle minutes on a machine since admired for its comfort and she couldn't sit down comfortably for a week!). Her sport is the sofa. When the kids were little I took them cycling but we had even more success motorcycling (a sidecar is great but a trailer behind an estate car is more calming for the nerves of the mother who stays at home or works the week-end especially if it rains or a "certain quantity" of doudous are involved). Generally when the girls were little we did things like that together and mum was happy to leave me to it or ride shotgun in a following car. We only got one week-end away all four with a big sidecar but that was fabulous. Things changed a bit when the girls discovered rhythmic gymnastics and followed that every week-end 'with the slightly unwilling co-operation of mum and dad). I got (and still get) guilty feelings about doing things without involving at least one other family member (which means that now I feel obliged to justify time out) although it doesn't stop me completely, it just means that I feel obliged to make the most of the opportunities. Things will get more complicated now that I am taking on the secretary's job in the cycling club but we will sort that undoubtedly.

People talk about the distances they can do with their kids. My experience hasn't worked like that but it's not important; what's important is the time you make to share with them, that's what they remember. If you really want to involve them in training and give yourself a good workout - buy a tandem and train on that! Or do as Yvan the Terrible (organiser of the Ménigoute SR series) does - train while they are sleeping!

[Sniper68]

Hi.
I have two kids,daughter 18 and son 11.I work 5on/4off,5on/5off,4on/5off 12 hour shifts.It works out that I have two weekends a month off and two working.I can squeeze my cycling in when my Rotas fall midweek when the lad is at school.I cycle Sunday’s on my weekends off with the CC but also with my son.He got his first drop-barred bike aged 8 and has been road riding with me since.He’s also a member of a CC and races.This allows me the spend time with him and cycle.When it’s my weekends on my wife takes him to cycle training and we get out on the bikes midweek after school.We take our bikes on holiday and my wife always encourages us to go and ride whilst her and my daughter do girly stuff.
We seem to have a good balance.
I have a week away cycling with friends every year and have done since 2002.It used to be in the Lakes but now it’s Mallorca.In a year or two he wants to come with me along with my mates lad who’s a year older.
We’re hoping to squeeze in the Way of the Roses later this year too.
Works for us!