"Maybe you'll stay in the cycle lane next time"

[bobajobrob]

I have also, in the past, demonstrated the correct use of the indicator stalk to the motorist.  It nearly came off in my hand, but not quite.

Opening the back door is a good one. It makes the driver stop and get out to close it. Oh how I larfed

[David Martin]

I have also, in the past, demonstrated the correct use of the indicator stalk to the motorist.  It nearly came off in my hand, but not quite.

Opening the back door is a good one. It makes the driver stop and get out to close it. Oh how I larfed

Passenger side rear. And then when they have closed it you open it again.

AFAICT it is perfectly legal as well, as long as the vehicle isn't moving.

..d

[teethgrinder]

Maybe Jen should have stolen her phone and handed it to the police and explained how you came about possession of the phone?
I doubt that I'd have kept my temper in that situation. I hate bullies.
Hope Jen is OK and soon back on the road again. They haven't won if you show them they haven't.

I knew someone who used to do the throwing the car keys in the bushes trick. Seems like a good one to remember if you are in danger.

[Basil]

I've lifted windscreen wipers to the up position.  

And it was raining.

[Rhys W]

All this phone-grabbing, key-tossing and door-opening is laudable indeed, but how do you know the driver isn't a violent psychopath who'll chase you down side streets in his Ford Fiesta?

Maybe I attract them, I dunno...

[teethgrinder]

All this phone-grabbing, key-tossing and door-opening is laudable indeed, but how do you know the driver isn't a violent psychopath who'll chase you down side streets in his Ford Fiesta?

Maybe I attract them, I dunno...

That's the whole point of getting rid of their keys. They can't run you over if they can't start their car.

[clarion]

Door opening would buy you a lot of time (perhaps to temporarily disable the vehicle by the removal of the keys to the nearest nick, or else to get the f out of there).  Good one, david.

Much much sympathy to Jen.  Unfortunately, there will always be cocks and pissweasel fuckpuppets on the road.

[andrew_s]

hit the brakes and swerved to her left, coming to a halt in the angle of the taxi's open door.  The car passed the taxi with a couple of inches to spare.

It may have worked to brake a little less hard and actually hit the door. If the gap was only a couple of inches, that would have put the door into the side of the passing car, with suitable educational damage all round.

[Jezza]

I haven't had the opportunity to do so yet, but one I have planned for a rainy day is to nick the keys out of the car and chuck them in a pond. Obviously the opportunity has to be right and the offence sufficient. It will probably never happen, but it is a plan I hatched when being pestered by a crowd of gits in a hatch-back last October on the Golden Tints and it keeps me going in moments of stress.

For legal reasons you need to be able show that you did not intend permanently to deprive the owner of the keys. A better plan might be to hand them in at the police station most convenient to you. You were threatened with assault (you believed) and it was the only practical way you could protect yourself.

I tried that once.  I don't know what holds the infra red style key fob into the dashboard of a people carrier - but I could neither turn the engine off nor remove the key

I have also, in the past, demonstrated the correct use of the indicator stalk to the motorist.  It nearly came off in my hand, but not quite.

Won't work in a Saab. The ignition key is down by the gear lever and you'd need to somehow get it in reverse.

Easier to just boot out a light while 'fending off the vehicle' that's trying to run you over.

[Chris S]

Oh dear  .

Definitely a candidate for the 130Db Mercaptan smelling Rape Alarm lobbed into the footwell of the car. Next time maybe. This time - as others suggested, chocolate 'n hugs for the victim.

[LittleWheelsandBig]

It is fairly easy to lean on the wing mirror as you squeeze past (not enough room, you see).  Most are held on by pot-metal.  Planning an escape route quickly becomes a high priority though.

[Julian]

Loving the suggested remedies here.  Because of course, what you feel inclined to do when you're five-foot-cuckoo-spit and easily intimidated¹ is to lean into the car, snarl, rip their f*cking head off and use the soggy end to polish their wing mirror.  Yeah.  That'll teach 'em.

Tell Jen it's perfectly acceptable and not wussy in the least to take Option 2 which is to burst into tears and get someone to give you a cuddle. 


¹I refer here to myself, not Jen - having never cycled with her, for all I know she could be Well 'Ard and eat motons for breakfast.

[nuttycyclist]

I have also, in the past, demonstrated the correct use of the indicator stalk to the motorist.  It nearly came off in my hand, but not quite.

Opening the back door is a good one. It makes the driver stop and get out to close it. Oh how I larfed

BTDTGTTS - It was a double decker bus.

I thought it was recalled on ACF, but can only find this reference at the moment. 

[GruB]

Two wrongs don't make a right, let alone 3 or 4 wrongs.
I am glad Jen is okay albeit shaken and stirred.

Using a mobile phone when driving is against the law - the prosecution for such being a fine and points on your licence.
Stealing a mobile phone or car keys is far worse.
Damaging the car is far worse.
Opening the door - as long as you are not threatening towards the occupant - well I'm struggling to worry about that one.

Taking any sort of direct action back is always dangerous unless you have 'power' to do so.  That is where I am lucky as I can identify myself and start the paperwork trail if required.

Jen's best asset in this circumstance is her female quick wit and parry.
Words are far mightier than the sword.

Until a momentary lapse in concentration when driving a car is taken seriously in this country, and cyclists are given more rights ( as per Holland perhaps ) then that is all we really have in our arsenal.  Unless you have a head camera and capture the lot on film 

[Phil]

Wise words, o grubby one.  We went over the situation a couple of times and I don't see what could have been done to avoid the problem.  The mobile phone was incidental, really - the woman in the car decided to teach Jen a lesson by driving at her.  Although that's a very serious crime, wreaking some well-deserved re-wen-gay would probably have been a bad idea. 

What's irritating, and what makes the revenge option so tempting, is that the woman drove away grimly smug that she'd taught some bloody cyclist to keep out of her way.  The thought that she could have injured Jen won't have crossed her mind.  With somebody that deeply stupid, it's tempting to act so that a fear of reprisal might prevent her doing so again. 

Bet the Mercedes driver who messed with Canadian Ryan has been a bit more cautious ever since. 

[αdαmsκι]

I thought it was recalled on ACF, but can only find this reference at the moment. 

Yeah, I got that this morning.  The new acf way is for access for registrated users only

[Yorkshireman]

I thought it was recalled on ACF, but can only find this reference at the moment. 

Yeah, I got that this morning.  The new acf way is for access for registrated users only

Back to normal now though (as of 15min ago).
 

[Ian H]

Wise words, o grubby one.  We went over the situation a couple of times and I don't see what could have been done to avoid the problem.

Tip: when approaching any obstacle, follow the line a car would. Start drifting out early enough that no perceptible steering can be noticed. That way the traffic is more likely to just drift with you. If you weave out, even gently and in good time, following vehicles have to consciously alter their path to accommodate you. I realise that you can't do this with a suddenly occurring hazard such a car door, but it works generally. I'm not trying to excuse the drivers idiotic behaviour.

[Jacomus]

I would add words of caution alongside Grub et al.

After such incidents I often fantasize about stopping the car and showing them that out of that fancy metal cage, my martial arts ass can break bits of them as their car could break bits of me. In my mind cars burn with their occupants strangled by their seatbelts, or a single well placed anti-tank missile from the concealed launcher in my top tube showers their car all over central London... etcetera ad nauseum.

However, I restrain myself to a simple 'why' open palmed arm gesture and maybe a shake of the head, and that is only if the occupant of the car is on their own and unlikely to be carrying a weapon. i.e. when passing thorough Brixton, I keep my head down and the power up. The arm gesture is enough to trigger some kind of primal rage in a certain type of driver, and I have watched many motons screaming off up the road arms waving as they bring themselves closer and closer to a heart attack.

Why?

Because my safety is Priority 1. Whatever they did to me, if I escaped injury, I would rather keep it that way than get beaten up or have my heart fluttered by the surge of adrenalin that accompanies confrontation with an irate driver. I'm not afraid of the average Joe, they would probably be mouthy at most, maybe a little shove that a nasty arm lock would dissuade from going any further. I'm worried about the mental pikey who wouldn't stop until I was nearly dead.

Chances are, if something happens to you on your commute, it was done by someone else on theirs - so you are likely to come across them again. Don't submit to them meekly, but if you chose to act, you must take it far enough that they are too scared to piss you off again. Personally, I don't want to cross that line.

Take Nuttys' advice to me - get off the road, have a sip of water and calm down for 2 minutes then get back on your way, fresh and as Zen as possible.

[handcyclist]

The other thing to consider is what the driver thinks. Even the most trivial counter-action (eg opening a door - which incidentally won't work on a lot of modern cars that autolock) - in the mind of the driver is an assault by a b*stard cyclist. To them it's not revenge because they have done no wrong.
The idiot cyclist was at fault, they tried to show them the proper way, and just got abuse for it.

Of course we know better how the rules of the road work, and how we don't slow drivers down on average, etc etc. I guess we come at it from a different and probably more understanding mindset - after all, most cyclists drive at some time, a fact that is sadly not reciprocated in modern Britain.

Zen. Chill. Vent about it here. It's a tough thing to do in the face of such appalling and provocative driving, but you'll feel better for it.

Oh, and when you learn the secret of doing it 100% of the time, let the rest of us know how.

hc

[mattc]

What's irritating, and what makes the revenge option so tempting, is that the woman drove away grimly smug that she'd taught some bloody cyclist to keep out of her way.  The thought that she could have injured Jen won't have crossed her mind.  With somebody that deeply stupid, it's tempting to act so that a fear of reprisal might prevent her doing so again. 

Bet the Mercedes driver who messed with Canadian Ryan has been a bit more cautious ever since. 

I think there's a difference between avoiding confrontation to keep the peace, and behaving like door-mats encouraging others to walk/drive all over you.
For those brave enough, and in the right circs, standing up to bullies is a Good Thing.

[Frenchie]

What an idiot (the car passenger that is)!

[Rhys W]

However, I restrain myself to a simple 'why' open palmed arm gesture and maybe a shake of the head, and that is only if the occupant of the car is on their own and unlikely to be carrying a weapon.

 This is exactly what I did on Sunday (see my thread a bit lower down). I don't know if he was carrying a weapon but he used his car as one.

[andygates]

The other thing to consider is what the driver thinks. Even the most trivial counter-action (eg opening a door - which incidentally won't work on a lot of modern cars that autolock) - in the mind of the driver is an assault by a b*stard cyclist. To them it's not revenge because they have done no wrong.
The idiot cyclist was at fault, they tried to show them the proper way, and just got abuse for it.

Which is why big 'n' ugly imprimis works so well.  If you're intimidating up front, the motorist will keep their yap shut when "correcting" you, for fear that you're some Mad Max crazy person. 

[PrettyBoyTim]

Which is why big 'n' ugly imprimis works so well.  If you're intimidating up front, the motorist will keep their yap shut when "correcting" you, for fear that you're some Mad Max crazy person. 

That's why when the weather gets colder, I intend to try out some of these fake tattoo sleeves for armwarmers to see if people treat me any differently...

Despite the fact I have really skinny little arms.

I guess for the full effect I should wear a black heavy metal band T-shirt, replace my helmet with a bandana and my trainers with some army boots (or something similar)...