I was going to say 'pair of massive W bosons' there but I feared I'd get metooed into a spreadsheet of shame. Superhero breasts are, of course, a sensitive subject to be carefully handled. Oh no, what have I done... I blame Mary Poppins and her damn delectable hats. She puts the thoughts into my head.
Apparently, according to the internet, the X-timeline makes no sense because they changed in a previous film. So it's not just me and Deadpool who can't work it out.
Possibly I'm jaded after the awesome bombast of the last couple of MCU movies, but it was very flat. An alien invasion which consisted of about six aliens who could only briefly be bothered to be aliens until someone looked at the CGI budget. One lead alien who looked the part (mysteriously omitted eyebrows, it's how you tell) but other than a magic space power, it wasn't clear how they'd take over the Earth when they struggled to commandeer a train. They'd never even get to the buffet car on a peak train to Swindon and parts west.
But you know, alien invasion, ultimo space powers, should be a set-up for something epic. Instead, we got some moping (didn't Jean Grey already mope her way through a previous instalment?) and really quite flat action. In other movies, they're knocking down entire city blocks and destroying the occasional planet, here they rearrange the furniture in posh NYC apartment building and call it day. Ubiquitous helicopter destruction, of course, but really that's the prawn cocktail these days, surely not a main course worthy of note? Some bashed up squad cars. Come on! That's amuse-bouche.
Honestly, it felt like a movie made a couple of decades back.
