Author Topic: The fantasy pizza thread  (Read 10802 times)

Wascally Weasel

  • Slayer of Dragons and killer of threads.
The fantasy pizza thread
« on: 07 March, 2017, 01:17:16 pm »
So, you're ordering or cooking a pizza.

Which toppings would you choose (up to a max of four, other than cheese & tomato).

I'll start you off, my favourite pizza has green chillies, spicy beef, chorizo and anchovies.  Dirty, dirty, dirty!

Eccentrica Gallumbits

  • Rock 'n' roll and brew, rock 'n' roll and brew...
Re: The fantasy pizza thread
« Reply #1 on: 07 March, 2017, 01:26:04 pm »
Gorgonzola instead of mozzarella. Artichokes, black olives, baby spinach and an egg.
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LEE

  • "Shut Up Jens" - Legs.
Re: The fantasy pizza thread
« Reply #2 on: 07 March, 2017, 01:28:08 pm »
A bit of Prosciutto, a few mushrooms, onion.  Keep it simple.  Super-thin crust.

In fact the best memory of a Pizza I have is a simple Onion and Garlic Pizza, chopped into squares, in a take-away box from an Italian Pizza Van.....on the shores of Lake Garda, in Desenzano.

Come to think of it, many of my favourite things happened there.  It may very well have been the setting.

Edit.  Any topping so long as I can eat it here
Some people say I'm self-obsessed but that's enough about them.

Re: The fantasy pizza thread
« Reply #3 on: 07 March, 2017, 01:29:37 pm »
Green and red peppers, salami, black olives.
I think you'll find it's a bit more complicated than that.

T42

  • Apprentice geezer
Re: The fantasy pizza thread
« Reply #4 on: 07 March, 2017, 05:00:23 pm »
Roquefort and onion.

Mozarella & tomato with fresh basil added after cooking.
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barakta

  • Bastard lovechild of Yomiko Readman and Johnny 5
Re: The fantasy pizza thread
« Reply #5 on: 07 March, 2017, 05:21:59 pm »
Mushrooms, sweetcorn, red pepper, black olives.

Gus

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Re: The fantasy pizza thread
« Reply #6 on: 07 March, 2017, 05:33:28 pm »
pear, walnuts, gorgonzola & onion

ian

Re: The fantasy pizza thread
« Reply #7 on: 07 March, 2017, 05:33:59 pm »
It's all about the base! It should be thin to the point of monomolecular yet soft enough to cut with a fork (although you're not allowed to use a fork). It should retain enough integrity to be picked up as a slice to form a delicate topping hammock that you can shove into your mouth. The base should never, ever be chewy or the thickness of a ciabatta.

It shouldn't be overtopped, that's a mistake that requires a thick base. Do not fucking stuff anything into the crusts. There shouldn't be crust, topping goes to the edge. Marinara sauce should be apply thinly, it's there to hold the topping on. You can't have a thin base and a thick slick of marinara sauce, the pizza just goes soggy.

For the actual toppings, did I mention don't overtop. Keep it simple. A few pieces of tomato (get rid of excess juice), torn basil (at the end, with a drizzle of fresh olive oil), a sprinkling of oregano, and mozzarella. Really, you don't need a lot else. Mushroom, olives, peppers maybe, but beware of overtopping. I'm not convinced by meat on a pizza.

Re: The fantasy pizza thread
« Reply #8 on: 07 March, 2017, 05:35:14 pm »
Just tomato sauce, basil, black pepper, decent olive oil and Fior  Di Latte or Mozzarella Di Bufalo. Decent dough, sourdough is nice. Wood oven, cherry or oak logs.

Heaven.

Mrs Pingu

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Re: The fantasy pizza thread
« Reply #9 on: 07 March, 2017, 05:42:52 pm »
Spinach and (runny) egg
Goat cheese & (runny) hunny
Artichokes and other veg
Parma ham & jalapeño
Do not clench. It only makes it worse.

Re: The fantasy pizza thread
« Reply #10 on: 07 March, 2017, 08:26:55 pm »
At one point our local pizza delivery company knew by the sound of my voice that it was mushroom and black olive I was after.
Nowadays, something with shellfish is a treat I seek out when its fresh and not just prawns.

Re: The fantasy pizza thread
« Reply #11 on: 07 March, 2017, 08:40:59 pm »
My then-local used to do one with ribbons of courgette, aubergine, tuscan ham, and chorizo which was rather good.

I quite like broccoli, spring onion and ham, but these days I most often tend to go for a plain margherita with good-quality buffalo mozzarella.


ian

Re: The fantasy pizza thread
« Reply #12 on: 07 March, 2017, 09:03:51 pm »
Goat cheese! Honey! Gorgonzola! Monkey splooge! Stop this madness.

Mozzerella and not the weird yellow pretend mozzarella. Normally I liked pretend cheese because I'm sophisticated like that, but on a pizza it has to be the real stuff. I tell you, if you get the base right, the toppings should be minimal. But it has to hammock. I've been given pizza that stands out like a rigid triangle of cardboard, some kind of obscene doughy, tomato sauce-dribbling erection. No, no. no.

Or the one I got served the other week, with giant crusts terrorising the puddle of toppings in the middle. Why on earth would I want a handful of dry, chewy bread unadorned with any kind of sauce or topping? I don't care if it's artisanal sourdough, who wants to sitting there chewing through what was practically an entire dry loaf. It's a pizza base. It has just one job and that's to deliver toppings to my mouth. I'm not there to eat a loaf.

The best pizza I had was a in little Italian-American place on Narragansett Bay, Little Rhodie. Thin hammocky slices of soft, soft dough, good ingredients, everything kept simple. I'll allow for an egg and potato (little sauted potato cubes are good, come on it's like posh chips on a pizza). Artichokes and olives, capers, I suppose. Meat, but not if it's too oily, there's nothing worse that a slice suppurating oil from cheap pepperoni, so if you must go meaty, then some lean ham.

I mostly make my own pizzas these days. Unless you're lucky enough to have somewhere decent, it's the usual crap from Dominos, Papa Johns etc. For a country that's leapt forward in the overall culinary stakes, our takeaways are still in the 1970s. I did grab one from the supermarket on the way home the other day as I was eating pour un. Oh my, that as awful, basically a slice of bath sponge that someone had soaked in horrendously sweet tomato sauce. I had to check the label to make sure I'd not bought a weird dessert pizza. I had to throw it in the bin.

Paul

  • L'enfer, c'est les autos.
Re: The fantasy pizza thread
« Reply #13 on: 07 March, 2017, 09:06:08 pm »
Olives (green or black, though black look better) and anchovies.

Anything else is just in the way.
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Mrs Pingu

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Re: The fantasy pizza thread
« Reply #14 on: 07 March, 2017, 09:17:31 pm »
Not a very good phone photo but I got this pizza with pesto on it delivered to my hotel in Stavanger.
Yes, it does look like an oil slick, doesn't it?  :sick:
IMAG0067 by The Pingus, on Flickr
Do not clench. It only makes it worse.

dim

Re: The fantasy pizza thread
« Reply #15 on: 07 March, 2017, 09:18:59 pm »
Green olives, anchovies, Garlic, chillies (and one more.... most probably the most important: dried oregano)
“No great mind has ever existed without a touch of madness.” - Aristotle

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Re: The fantasy pizza thread
« Reply #16 on: 07 March, 2017, 09:27:05 pm »
v. thin base (can even be wholemeal), tomatoes, oregano, black pepper, anchovies, olives
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

ian

Re: The fantasy pizza thread
« Reply #17 on: 07 March, 2017, 09:31:40 pm »
Not a very good phone photo but I got this pizza with pesto on it delivered to my hotel in Stavanger.
Yes, it does look like an oil slick, doesn't it?  :sick:
...

And look at the those brawny, bereft crusts. Acres of cruel barren, bready wasteland. Why, oh god, the horror, why?

Re: The fantasy pizza thread
« Reply #18 on: 07 March, 2017, 09:33:01 pm »
Pizza.
Isn't that what teenagers eat?

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Re: The fantasy pizza thread
« Reply #19 on: 07 March, 2017, 09:34:09 pm »
Not a very good phone photo but I got this pizza with pesto on it delivered to my hotel in Stavanger.
Yes, it does look like an oil slick, doesn't it?  :sick:
IMAG0067 by The Pingus, on Flickr

is that surprising in Stavanger?

but seriously, Pizza? Norway?  what's wrong with half a barbecued reindeer?
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

Mrs Pingu

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Re: The fantasy pizza thread
« Reply #20 on: 07 March, 2017, 09:34:34 pm »
Not a very good phone photo but I got this pizza with pesto on it delivered to my hotel in Stavanger.
Yes, it does look like an oil slick, doesn't it?  :sick:
...

And look at the those brawny, bereft crusts. Acres of cruel barren, bready wasteland. Why, oh god, the horror, why?

All in all, it was fucking ghastly.
Do not clench. It only makes it worse.

Aunt Maud

  • Le Flâneur.
Re: The fantasy pizza thread
« Reply #21 on: 07 March, 2017, 09:36:25 pm »
Not a very good phone photo but I got this pizza with pesto on it delivered to my hotel in Stavanger.
Yes, it does look like an oil slick, doesn't it?  :sick:
...

And look at the those brawny, bereft crusts. Acres of cruel barren, bready wasteland. Why, oh god, the horror, why?

Because they can.

ian

Re: The fantasy pizza thread
« Reply #22 on: 07 March, 2017, 09:47:51 pm »
The thing about pizza is that it should be simple. Make some dough and stretch it thin, add a few toppings, and that's that. It doesn't need fancy dough – flour, water, yeast, salt. That's it. Fresh tomatoes, fresh basil, oregano (dried is fine, tbh), proper mozzarella, and a splash of decent olive oil. Whatever other toppings float your boat even if that makes you freaky weird. But make it thin and a use a hot, hot oven (the main downside of making pizza at home unless you have a blast furnace). It should cook in a few minutes not twenty.

And people churn out pizzas like that? Why do they need to be soaked like a dying seagull in a slick of oil, with dough that makes your jaw ache, acres of pointless crust (no, no, not to hold it, that's why it should fold into a hammock, you hold a pizza slice by its underside, and there's a special place down below for people who eat pizza with a knife and fork).

It's why I walked out of a posh pizza place in NYC last summer. Seriously, what kind of mental fucking kitchen crime can your perpetrate on a poor pizza to charge $40+ for it.

Aunt Maud

  • Le Flâneur.
Re: The fantasy pizza thread
« Reply #23 on: 07 March, 2017, 09:52:50 pm »
It looks like there's a slice missing, did she swallow ?

Charlotte

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Re: The fantasy pizza thread
« Reply #24 on: 07 March, 2017, 09:55:06 pm »
Vegan cheese that doesn't taste like embalming fluid mixed with oven cleaner would be a start.
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