Two for the price of one:
Tesco's we only use you because our preferred emporium do not stock a few items we prefer to use. So we only use you for petrol, when out stock is low and the very odd time when your opening times suits our needs. Saved a few bob on petrol by having your clubcard, thanks. But it is rather annoying when you send us your great offers on stuff we just got (e.g. two-three days after our last visit) and don't need for a good while. See we stock up so that we don't have to enter your horridmart too often. So therefore your great offers are not needed and will not be valid when needed.
Local radio station, you are jolly good fun to tune into and often you do play other stuff. Than the top hit of the week, that it says on the list you gotta play 5-6 times a day, that other radio stations do. But why do you keep saying that you play the best music or better music than other radio station do. Well all the other local radio stations say the same as you do. But isn't it in the ear of the beholder, who decides who plays the best music?
Bonus : when you say that you are the only one that plays "insert random number" songs/tunes/tracks in a row. You all are lying!!! Because it is not in a row if you put your jingle in between the songs/tunes/tracks, and for that matter your jingle is an ad for your radio station!