<serious question>
Why don't the pro's ride fixed in events like TdF?
Serious answer:
Because they're not lazy and will be trying to get the most from their bike.
Fixed/single-speed works because you mentally want to keep going at a constant cadence, when the road pitches up you put in more effort to try and maintain this. With gears one tends to change down too many gears and do less work at the preferred cadence.
Simply put, pros don't ease up when they change down, they put in the power they want to be putting in and choose the appropriate gear to keep their cadence where they want it.
Another reason is that they go much faster than us mortals, so they'd need quite a tall gear to be able to spin along the flat at 45kph. Such a gear would make climbing extremely difficult; once you start going below 40rpm pedaling is not so efficient, in a race situation a cadence 10% below the rider's optimum could have a significant difference to race position where hundreths of a second matter.