Dry January - 2022

[Paul]

Nice one Paul.   

Cheers

well done paul

Cheers again.

I fell off the wagon in a big way.  Stressful week. minor panic attack about non-essential work.  stats over supporting wife as vicar loss of control of streaming from church and loss of role. etc. Opened a 9 year old bottle of red wine from the Rhone, my favourite area.  most of bottle drunk plus chocolate plus peanut butter and marmalade

I will have a hangover tomorrow but will be able to run later

The try dry app addresses wagon-slides. Says something like 'remember what happened, work out why it happened, and see if you can do something different next time.' It's quite good for stuff like that. That's where I got the tip that got me through this evening (anticipating the temptation so I didn't just slide into it).

Not sure it would work for a chocolate/peanut butter/marmalade habit though!

(I did finish the Christmas chocolates tonight.)

[Von Broad]

I think I'm probably in a similar place to you. I've socially drunk my way around the world for 50-odd years, never really caring too much about the damage I

Similar but different. You've socially drunk you way round the world for 50-odd years, and I've just drunk for 50 odd years

My relevant story, I guess, is that my mother was an alcoholic, and quite destructive when she was in full flow. She died over 20 years ago now, and alcohol was definitely part of the cause (there were a few others, which would have been exacerbated by her drinking). Thing is, most of the family didn't know - or didn't connect the dots.

Well, there you go. An experience close to home.

Did a job last year for a mate of mine whose mother had moved down to Lymington to begin a new life after her marriage had broken up.
To cut a long story short: marriage breakup, always had an issue with alcohol, was able to financially to start a new life for herself in Lymington after the separation, did ok for 5-6 yrs, got in with a bad crowd [not that bad, just a bit boozey], started drinking again and ultimately ended up being sectioned, and is now in a care home. Same age as me, 61!! The mental and physical decline with that kind of self-abuse is literally very sobering to see. It was shocking to see. I spent last year down there sorting the house out. Dear god, what a mess, what a state to get into.

And the thing I always come back to about something like that is: where does self-awarenss seek to be any help whatsoever to a person, and a kind of helpless mental illness take over? Is it just the luck of the genetic draw or what? Some are able to save themselves and others just seem so hell-bent on a kind of self-destructive continuum, that to return from such a state would seem to be somewhat slim, and those around them feel so powerless to help. I remember my friend phoning me one day when I was down there working on the house, just so exasperated and her saying, "she just so fucking relentless with it all, it's just so fucking draining, I can't take this much longer". So was so, so down with it all.

Something that is also very common with heavy drinking is a decline in maintaining a decent standard of nutritional intake. It's another nail. Shot by both sides, so to speak.

Anyway, on a lighter note, leaving that aside.......time to wish people on here the best and may the winds of self-help and recovery propel you far into 2021!

[ScumOfTheRoad]

Both my mother and father worked in the health service..  I think it was my mother (GP receptionist) who told me that about alcoholics - they get all the calories they need from booze. So they have to be prescribed vitamins, I think vitamin B mainly.

[hellymedic]

Alcoholics get short of thiamine because its absorption is inhibited by the alcohol, as well as having a diet insufficient of the nutrient.

Thiamine deficiency causes specific neurological syndromes. (Wernicke's encephalopathy/Korsakoff's psychosis) and intravenous B vitamins are routinely give to most alcoholics when admitted to hospital.

[ElyDave]

Cracked, and had a mid-week nightcap on Thursday. Last night was on plan in terms of not zero, but less than what has become a routine Friday night. I have slept better once asleep, but my back is still causing problems with getting to sleep.

That comment "I've drunk myself around the world socially for 50 years" I can fully appreciate, after 15 years of travelling 2 or three weeks a month for 15 years. A beer or two, or glass of wine or two with dinner, sitting in the business class lounge on a Friday night waiting for the flight home etc. All too easy to have one too many glasses before getting on the plane, or on the longhaul flight.

The two week trips to Saudi, and time offshore have never been an issue, but definitely is to some in the industry. I've seen a guy drink a full bottle of wine, beers and several spirits on a 3 hour flight back from Algeria, an Aberdeen City centre looks like a war zone by 3pm on crew change day, with bodies propped against walls all over the place. I wonder if that has stopped with current restrictions.

[rafletcher]

well done paul

I fell off the wagon in a big way.  Stressful week. minor panic attack about non-essential work.  stats over supporting wife as vicar loss of control of streaming from church and loss of role. etc. Opened a 9 year old bottle of red wine from the Rhone, my favourite area.  most of bottle drunk plus chocolate plus peanut butter and marmalade

I will have a hangover tomorrow but will be able to run later

Sorry to hear that Chris, I hope this week is better for you. I think a lot of us will also (like fboab and citoyen - and me) have suffered from the first week back being a full one too.

One thing I was told, and that (usually) works for me, is that if you can resist the initial urge /craving for something like 6 minutes (this was back when I was stopping smoking after a decade of rolling my own) then the feeling of needing to smoke/drink now will usually pass. Not foolproof, but often feeling like it will pass helps it to do so.

I’ve managed to stay off the booze ok, with just the usual 2 bottles of Becks Blue with my cheese and biscuits (my weekend treats). I’ve been less successful on the food front - like Paul, finishing up Christmas leftovers. All gone except half of the Christmas cake we baked. Between us that’ll be gone by next weekend, so truly back on the straight and narrow.

The best I’ve managed drink-wise (in over 30 years) was Sept to mid-Oct last year, and again mid-Oct to mid-December, when I was actively (and successfully) losing weight. This year I’ll try to last to my birthday in mid-March.

[Ruthie]

Reading this thread and feeling full of respect for those struggling. It’s not easy.

About a year ago I jumped into the black hole of Sobriety Lit (who knew that was a genre?!) and it just occurred to me that putting one’s feet up by the fire with a hot chocolate with marshmallows and a good book (approx the same price as a bottle of wine) might be a nice Lockdown pastime.

This Naked Mind by Annie Grace is a good one to start with. The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober is nice too. Augustus Burroughs is very, very dark indeed. Those with a spiritual/religious bent (like me) might grapple with Breathing Underwater by Richard Rohr. I hated it. Then I read it again, after a conversation with the former Bishop of Jarrow, and totally got it.

I mean no offense by these suggestions, I know this is a very hard thing. Maybe it might help someone. Oh dunno.

[L CC]

One thing I was told, and that (usually) works for me, is that if you can resist the initial urge /craving for something like 6 minutes (this was back when I was stopping smoking after a decade of rolling my own) then the feeling of needing to smoke/drink now will usually pass. Not foolproof, but often feeling like it will pass helps it to do so. 

This is definitely an excellent technique - distraction.

We're still dry but the groundhog days of 2021 are already getting to me. I'm struggling more than I've been for a while.
It's hard to look forward to anything when there is so little light at the end of the tunnel - or rather, the tunnel is so obviously quite a long one.

[TimC]

Yeah, likewise. I'm lying in bed right now wondering if it's worth getting up - and spending too much time on here!

I need to do my tax return. I think that, for the moment, is the only task I have outstanding. I'm saving that up for when I feel really crap.

But I'm still in.

[Paul]

well done paul

I fell off the wagon in a big way.  Stressful week. minor panic attack about non-essential work.  stats over supporting wife as vicar loss of control of streaming from church and loss of role. etc. Opened a 9 year old bottle of red wine from the Rhone, my favourite area.  most of bottle drunk plus chocolate plus peanut butter and marmalade

I will have a hangover tomorrow but will be able to run later

This is what alcohol change uk (the organisation behind the try dry app) says about setbacks: https://alcoholchange.org.uk/blog/2020/setbacks.

[Von Broad]

This is what alcohol change uk (the organisation behind the try dry app) says about setbacks: https://alcoholchange.org.uk/blog/2020/setbacks.

I'm not doing dry January, but forever grappling with this stuff, that was quite an interesting short read, and not what you might necessarily expect.
It's something I very much agree with, and basically ran along the lines of.... look, if you relapse, don't keep beating yourself up about it, take a step back, see if you can learn anything, and have another go when you're ready. It happens.
While this could be construed as possibly being a bit defeatist, I'm sure there is a tendency for quitters to really pile on the psychological pressure if they find themselves falling off the wagon, the stress gets compounded and the whole thing can become even more difficult. Go easy on yourself.

[Paul]

This is what alcohol change uk (the organisation behind the try dry app) says about setbacks: https://alcoholchange.org.uk/blog/2020/setbacks.

I'm not doing dry January, but forever grappling with this stuff, that was quite an interesting short read, and not what you might necessarily expect.
It's something I very much agree with, and basically ran along the lines of.... look, if you relapse, don't keep beating yourself up about it, take a step back, see if you can learn anything, and have another go when you're ready. It happens.
While this could be construed as possibly being a bit defeatist, I'm sure there is a tendency for quitters to really pile on the psychological pressure if they find themselves falling off the wagon, the stress gets compounded and the whole thing can become even more difficult. Go easy on yourself.

An old love of mine demonstrated exactly this, whether it was drinking, smoking or dieting. One drink, fag or pizza was enough to make her say "Oh sod it!" and have another of whatever it was she was trying to avoid. It was a sort of instant, total failure, a very black and white approach.

I've experienced the same. I think knowing that you can recover from a lapse (without giving yourself permission to lapse in the first place) is important.

[Paul]

How’s everyone doing?

I think not drinking is a bit like making love to a beautiful woman riding fixed. Riding fixed you don’t have to think about what gear you’re in, when to change, chain line, mech maintenance.

Not drinking means you don’t have to think about whether to drink, what do drink, when and how much.  It’s simpler.

And maybe a craving is like a hill: it’s harder to get over the first few, but once you know you can, the hills get easier.

This analogy is a work in progress.

[bairn again]

I like Pauls analogy.

Starting on Tues 5th Ive safely navigated my first Friday and Saturday nights so effectively a weekend in addition to a working week. I had a low alcohol wheat beer (Maesels Weiss - the best imho) yesterday. 

Sleep is improved, so much so that Ive already been to Aldi for their 9am opening and back. 

Im allowing myself some slack on diet as a concession so Im not anticipating any weight loss, not immediately at any rate.

When consuming my 0.5l “beer” i was struck by just how much volume that is.  Id bash through a full strength bottle of the same size in no time and be ready for my next one, and the one after that far sooner. 
 
The wheels could come off at any time but its going OK so far, and I now feel that I'm properly invested in it. 

EDIT - I posted this in a hurry this morning, I meant to add this thread has been a helpful reference point for me so a big  to those who have posted 
 

[TimC]

Blimey. I never knew drinking was so complicated! But then I don't drink spirits of any variety (just don't like them), and I don't drink beer at home except when the weather is very warm. I do drink - and very much enjoy - good red wine, and I will do so again once I decide I've had enough of not doing so. But in fact it's probably the simplicity of choice, in my case (ouch!), that makes drinking a bit too often a bit too easy.

Having this time off has reminded me that a good bottle of wine is a treat, something worth looking forward to and appreciating once in a while, rather than an habitual accompaniment to an evening meal (and the rest of the evening after the meal...). I've no intention of giving that up, but I intend to make it more of a special occasion. But I'm only a week in; it's probably a bit early to be making big commitments!

[rafletcher]

Blimey. I never knew drinking was so complicated! But then I don't drink spirits of any variety (just don't like them), and I don't drink beer at home except when the weather is very warm. I do drink - and very much enjoy - good red wine, and I will do so again once I decide I've had enough of not doing so. But in fact it's probably the simplicity of choice, in my case (ouch!), that makes drinking a bit too often a bit too easy.

Having this time off has reminded me that a good bottle of wine is a treat, something worth looking forward to and appreciating once in a while, rather than an habitual accompaniment to an evening meal (and the rest of the evening after the meal...). I've no intention of giving that up, but I intend to make it more of a special occasion. But I'm only a week in; it's probably a bit early to be making big commitments!

Yep, I can empathise. I do occasional spirits, but usually only at Christmas. The rest of the year I don’t bother. I’ve switched to alcohol free beer, and it’s an occasional weekend supper drink. I too enjoy red (and white) wines,  but will try and ration myself to fewer better quality bottles once I do start drinking again. 

[Paul]

I like Pauls analogy.

Starting on Tues 5th Ive safely navigated my first Friday and Saturday nights so effectively a weekend in addition to a working week. I had a low alcohol wheat beer (Maesels Weiss - the best imho) yesterday. 

Sleep is improved, so much so that Ive already been to Aldi for their 9am opening and back. 

Im allowing myself some slack on diet as a concession so Im not anticipating any weight loss, not immediately at any rate.
...
 
The wheels could come off at any time but its going OK so far, and I now feel that I'm properly invested in it. 
...

Well done for getting a weekend out of the way.

I’m not nodding off in front of the tv in the evenings. And my regular heartburn has disappeared.

[bairn again]

...
 

And my regular heartburn has disappeared.

thats interesting.  I tend to get heartburn if I drink whisky - my "go to" winter tipple - especially if I dont put a big enough glug of water in it.  It usually strikes overnight and is unpleasant enough to disturb sleep.     

[Regulator]

Half a stone off in the first 10 days of Dry January... 

[TimC]

Half a stone off in the first 10 days of Dry January... 

Bloody hell! How much were you drinking...?!

[Regulator]

Half a stone off in the first 10 days of Dry January... 

Bloody hell! How much were you drinking...?!

Too much... and of the wrong thing.  Wine and beer in particular have very high calories contents.

https://www.drinkaware.co.uk/tools/unit-and-calorie-calculator

[TimC]

Yes, I'm well aware of the calorific value of wine and beer. But I've not drunk this month, and my weight is down maybe one kg. Don't get me wrong - I'll be very happy if I continue at that rate; 3Kg (or 1/2 stone) in a month seems reasonable. But in a little over a week it seems a bit rapid. Don't do yourself out of food as well!

[Regulator]

Yes, I'm well aware of the calorific value of wine and beer. But I've not drunk this month, and my weight is down maybe one kg.

I'm one of those people that loses weight very quickly in the first few weeks (a stone in 2-3 weeks isn't unknown) with minor changes...


...problem is that it then tends to grind to a halt.   

[Geriatricdolan]

Yes, I'm well aware of the calorific value of wine and beer. But I've not drunk this month, and my weight is down maybe one kg.

I'm one of those people that loses weight very quickly in the first few weeks (a stone in 2-3 weeks isn't unknown) with minor changes...


...problem is that it then tends to grind to a halt.   

It's water...

Bad lifestyle leads to inflammation, which leads to water retention. As the inflammation improves, you lose all that water, hence the large weight drop. You probably weed a lot too.
If you check your blood pressure, you should have experienced a big drop too...

[Davef]

Half a stone off in the first 10 days of Dry January... 

Bloody hell! How much were you drinking...?!

Too much... and of the wrong thing.  Wine and beer in particular have very high calories contents.

https://www.drinkaware.co.uk/tools/unit-and-calorie-calculator

15 bottles of wine = 9000 cal = 1kg of body fat

Rapid weight loss is fluid loss not fat loss.

Realistically 1kg a week is a 9000 cal deficit and is about most peoples limit for fat loss.