Grammar that makes you cringe

[hellymedic]

You might be. I am happy to google a query wile someone else hoovers the room...

[Cudzoziemiec]

I wouldn't be able to do much cycling in Poland if I objected to trade marks as everyday words. The word rower along with its derivatives is taken from the Rover Safety of 188-whenever it was. I even know a street ulica Rowerowa.

[Gareth Rees]

Google (the verb) makes me cringe. Am I the only one?

Many people object to language change, so I expect you have company.

But I'll just note that the OED has citations for google as a verb going back to 1907:

google, v. intr. Of the ball: to have a ‘googly’ break and swerve. Of the bowler; to bowl a googly or googlies; also (trans.), to give a googly break to (a ball).

1907   Badminton Mag. Sept. 289   The googlies that do not google.

[clarion]

That's one of the problems with 'google' - it already existed as a word.  And they were referring to 'googol' anyway.

[Canardly]

Ah a new lube is born.....

[citoyen]

That's just an etiquette/manners issue. I think.

Would you mind closing the window?

Really means:
Please close the window, even if you object slightly, but if it is a big problem, don't.

Me, to son: "Are you going to do your homework?"
Real meaning: "Do your homework!"

d.

[border-rider]

From the noticeboard at Mrs MV's work:

“Bit of a long shot but looking for a vivarium, or anyone who has a tortoise who’s willing to look after my daughters for a couple of weeks?”

 

[Hot Flatus]

I wouldn't be quite so quick with such glib mockery of what you assume to be poor grammar.

Stranger things have occurred in the Forest....

[Biggsy]

From http://www2.ebay.com/aw/uk/201109.shtml#2011-09-08121739:

This issue has been escalated to our highest priority level in recent days and we have found the cause of the issue and measures are already underway to resolve it. We are also looking at ways to recover the transactions that are impacted.

For no good reason, I'm getting sick of "impacted" so often being used instead of "affected", and "impact" instead of "affect".

Also say "problem" instead of "issue", when it is a problem.  Don't be afraid to admit that you have problems, dear Americans.

[Peter]

Biggsy, you've got excellent reasons!

[Cudzoziemiec]

I'm also sick of this euphemistic use of "issue". Recently I've noticed "situation" being used in the same way.

"Houston, we have an issue."

[Wowbagger]

I'm also sick of this euphemistic use of "issue". Recently I've noticed "situation" being used in the same way.

"Houston, we have an issue."

Gesundheit!

[greenmeansgo]

Not sure if this has been mentioned in the last 110 pages, but some good stuff in here
http://theoatmeal.com/tag/grammar

[clarion]

I realised last night that a leaflet we use has both Comic Sans and Monotype Corsiva.  Possibly a capital crime against typography.  But people like it.  Oh, I dunno

[Gareth Rees]

I'm also sick of this euphemistic use of "issue".

I don't think this sense of issue is euphemistic. It's sense 11 in the OED, "a point or matter in contention between two parties". This sense is legal in origin, with the earliest citations given from the 14th century.

[Cudzoziemiec]

But it's often used not to mean a point in contention but simply something that has gone wrong.

[mattc]

I'm also sick of this euphemistic use of "issue".

I don't think this sense of issue is euphemistic. It's sense 11 in the OED, "a point or matter in contention between two parties". This sense is legal in origin, with the earliest citations given from the 14th century.

So if they'd agree that there was a problem needing fixing, there would be no issue?

[Ian H]

There's nothing wrong with an issue that can't be fixed with a dressing and some Germolene.

[Biggsy]

It's not incorrect to use "issue" like in the eBay example I mentioned; it's just that "problem" would be more direct, meaningful and honest.  (Honesty being about telling the whole truth as well as no lies).  They use "issue" because they think "problem" would make them look bad.

They should be brave enough to admit that there is a problem and realise that we understand that problems can be solved.  They lose respect for being cowardly, when all they need to get respect is to be direct with their communication, and to be good at fixing problems.

[teethgrinder]

When I have subscribed to a magazine I have had 13 issues each year but no problems.

The Big Issue?

[clarion]

Gesundheit

[iakobski]

This does not bode well:

hi rachel

here are the menu's think there all spelt correct

[citoyen]

Genius. 

d.

[Greenbank]

So,

[Gareth Rees]

But it's often used not to mean a point in contention but simply something that has gone wrong.

You know that it's a problem. But they don't, at least not at first. So it's an issue. Perhaps after investigation they agree with you that the issue is in fact a problem. But an agreed-upon issue is still an issue, just as a solved problem is still a problem.

You're perfectly at liberty to object to this usage: I'm just saying that it's neither a euphemism nor a neologism.