Grammar that makes you cringe

[LEE]

Well I will now be cracking out that little fact about Tescos whereever I go.

I cannot STAND bad grammer - there/their/they're particularly makes me want to take a big pen to it, or just to the face of whoever wrote it...

Are you being deliberately ironic with this post ?

[David Martin]

This thread affects quite an effect on the readers thereof. The affect/effect distinction seems to pass many by.

You can effect a change. You can affect a change. You can change an effect but you cannot change an affect. Affect is never a noun.

[Cudzoziemiec]

Affect can be a noun, meaning "the conscious subjective aspect of an emotion considered apart from bodily changes; also : a set of observable manifestations of a subjectively experienced emotion <patients … showed perfectly normal reactions and affects — Oliver Sacks>"
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/affect
You could say an affect is the effect of something that affects you. 

Pedal vs peddle is the mix up that annoys me.

[Eccentrica Gallumbits]

This thread affects quite an effect on the readers thereof. The affect/effect distinction seems to pass many by.

You can effect a change. You can affect a change. You can change an effect but you cannot change an affect. Affect is never a noun.

Affect is very frequently a noun in psychiatry, where depressed patients might be described as having a flattened affect.

[citoyen]

http://ventolin.org/2012/01/grammer_man-who-the-fuck-is-this-nigga-and-why-u-comin-at-me-like-that-hoeassnigga/

[mattc]

http://ventolin.org/2012/01/grammer_man-who-the-fuck-is-this-nigga-and-why-u-comin-at-me-like-that-hoeassnigga/

Superb!

(If he turned off the delay - so that he could respond to every mistake on twitter - would the internet melt? Would spelling improve on twitter?!? )

[citoyen]

http://www.listsofnote.com/2012/01/fumblerules-of-grammar.html

[hellymedic]

This thread affects quite an effect on the readers thereof. The affect/effect distinction seems to pass many by.

You can effect a change. You can affect a change. You can change an effect but you cannot change an affect. Affect is never a noun.

It is to a psychiatrist.
"He has a depressed affect" is how the mind state and appearance of a depressed man would be described.

[Wendy]

You're suggesting a whole sub-tribe of intelligent educated professionals have absorbed some poor grammar and they are now actively promoting it? 

[mattc]

You're suggesting a whole sub-tribe of intelligent educated professionals have absorbed some poor grammar and they are now actively promoting it? 

Not uncommon, sadly.

I frequently hear pseudo-intellectuals on Radio 4 using words that George Bush would be proud of, or really obscure words in place of 'become' or 'need' or 'happen'.

There are plenty of words in English, we shouldn't need to make more up (or twist their meanings) just to sound ejumakated 

[clarion]

But a great many technical words which need to be used for precision.

[mattc]

But a great many technical words which need to be used for precision.

"Eventuate" was one I heard recently. There are others, but I do try to forget them!

A common problem is where a technical word is used outside of its proper context - or a speaker simply being a crap communicator! (A good writer would simply rewrite "He has a depressed affect" - except for the very specific audience of other head-shrinks).

[citoyen]

But a great many technical words which need to be used for precision.

Jargon should never be used out of context.

d.

[Cudzoziemiec]

http://www.listsofnote.com/2012/01/fumblerules-of-grammar.html

[mattc]

This thread affects quite an effect on the readers thereof. The affect/effect distinction seems to pass many by.

You can effect a change. You can affect a change. You can change an effect but you cannot change an affect. Affect is never a noun.

It is to a psychiatrist.
"He has a depressed affect" is how the mind state and appearance of a depressed man would be described.

[OK - backtracking a bit to the posts that started this ... ]

Helly, this is Q_uiteI_nteresting, but would you bet that the text irritating David was written by a psychiatrist?

[JonBuoy]

Have you tried our poncy bread with soup ... 'to give a really indulgent eat.'

Thanks for that one Mr Tesco.

[Gareth Rees]

Have you tried our poncy bread with soup ... "to give a really indulgent eat." Thanks for that one Mr Tesco.

The noun eat (meaning "the action of eating; a meal") is nearly a thousand years old: the OED's first citation is from the 11th century Paris Psalter. It was a good enough word for King Alfred!

[mattc]

Things usually lie unused for a thousand years for a reason.

[Cudzoziemiec]

Things usually lie unused for a thousand years for a reason.

 

[Nuncio]

Things usually lie unused for a thousand years for a reason.

 

   maybe, but I don't think the first citation would have been the last.  I don't have access to OED but I doubt that the usage has been unused for 1000 years.  Gareth?

[Gareth Rees]

I don't think the first citation would have been the last.  I don't have access to OED but I doubt that the usage has been unused for 1000 years.  Gareth?

The OED has only a sampling of citations: there are three early citations from c.1000 to c.1200, and then three late citations from 1844 to to 1951. Latest is "1951    J. Frame Lagoon 60   Goodbye and thank you for the little eat."

It's hard to fill the gaps by corpora searches because the overwhelming preponderance of the verb eat makes the noun hard to find.

[mattc]

Despite being in the OED, it still sounds shit.

[Auntie Helen]

This from a hymn at church this morning:



For some reason the last line of verse 2 felt wrong to me.

[clarion]

The first line is pretty bad in itself.

[Wowbagger]

I hate that doggerel with a passion. I won't grace it with the word "song" which includes masterpieces from Schubert and Tchaikowsky, or "hymn" which includes Aberystwyth & Cwm Rhondda.

I used to have to teach it to junior school children in a hall about ten feet away from the railway line between Shoeburyness and Fenchurch Street. The best bit of assemblies was when we had to stop because a passing train was making the building shake.