Grammar that makes you cringe

[hubner]

I think when a bank is open, the public can enter, ie it's a public place, therefore it's robbery.

When it's closed it's private, like a house, so it's burglary.

[mattc]

"My daddy was a bankrobber bank burgler but he never hurt nobody"

I better give The Clash a ring. They slipped in a double negative there as well.
Typical rock stars with their loud music and sloppy grammar.

You're lucky if you can hear the lyrics these days!

[Tim Hall]

The Clash are alright: as long as daddy was using threats of violence he can still be a robber while hurting no-one.

I think you'll find it's the kids that are alright. 

[Mr Larrington]

Burglary only at night, according to Len Deighton in Spy Story, so who am I to argue?

[Tim Hall]

Grammar or spelling? From the local paper: "has bared a striking resemblance".

[Cudzoziemiec]

Grammar or spelling? From the local paper: "has bared a striking resemblance".

Unveiled a nude statue? 

[mattc]

BBC Headline:
"Boy, 13, robbed by bike thieves in Manchester"

(posted as an example of robbery, not as an example of bad grammar!)

[T42]

Maybe they meant that he was kidnapped.

[Ian H]

Overheard phone-call the other day:  "We should save that for prosterity."

[Cudzoziemiec]

Grammatically, “me” is always the right choice when you need an objective pronoun. You wouldn’t say, “Hey, Tim, want to come to the milk bar with I?”

Well, duh! Everyone knows it should be "Hey, Tim, want to come to Costa with myself?"

[SteveC]

A new one for me yesterday in a work document, deliverable to the customer...

its'

As in belonging to it. 
And it was from the quality department as well...

[Cudzoziemiec]

Logic would suggest its' = theirs for inanimate items.
 

[citoyen]

Grammatically, “me” is always the right choice when you need an objective pronoun. You wouldn’t say, “Hey, Tim, want to come to the milk bar with I?”

Well, duh! Everyone knows it should be "Hey, Tim, want to come to Costa with myself?"

What if you're a Rasta?

"Hey, Tim bwoy, him gwine at milk bah wid I and I?"

(Or something like that - I'm don't claim to be fluent in Jamaican.)

[Cudzoziemiec]

Grammatically, “me” is always the right choice when you need an objective pronoun. You wouldn’t say, “Hey, Tim, want to come to the milk bar with I?”

Well, duh! Everyone knows it should be "Hey, Tim, want to come to Costa with myself?"

What if you're a Rasta?

"Hey, Tim bwoy, him gwine at milk bah wid I and I?"

(Or something like that - I'm don't claim to be fluent in Jamaican.)

Yesterday I wasn't entirely sure of my way out of Gloucester to the east. I stopped to look at a map but at that moment an old lady walked by so I thought I'd ask her. "Is this the road to Birdlip?" She sucked her teeth and cast her eyes to heaven before confirming that I was on the right road. "Yes, if you go along to the end then turn right, you'm on track for Birdlip." She wasn't a Rasta though. (And she did follow it up with "It's a long way, mind." It's about four miles. )

[Wowbagger]

A Glosta Rasta would surely be too much, even for Docta Fosta.

[BrianI]

I remember seeing a sign in the gents which read:


Please
"Wash"
Your hands

I wonder what euphemism they meant...

[T42]

In Friday's Trib, the words "under way" had been Americanized into underway and then hyphenated over a line break.

[citoyen]

Just been looking at satnav reviews on Techradar - there's a website that would benefit from the services of a good subeditor.

It's mostly just typos that aren't worth commenting on, but I did enjoy this gem from their review of the Garmin nuvi 3490LMT:

"This was among the first sat navs to take design cues from smartphones. To that end it's got a capacitive touchscreen, increased slimness and decreased thickness, live services via a connected smartphone app, and looks and feels great."

[Ian H]

Just been looking at satnav reviews on Techradar - there's a website that would benefit from the services of a good subeditor.

It's mostly just typos that aren't worth commenting on, but I did enjoy this gem from their review of the Garmin nuvi 3490LMT:

"This was among the first sat navs to take design cues from smartphones. To that end it's got a capacitive touchscreen, increased slimness and decreased thickness, live services via a connected smartphone app, and looks and feels great."

Wow!  Even just one of those would have been really great.

[T42]

NYT story on hackers pumping $81 mil out of the Fed via SWIFT:

“There are many banks out there right now saying, ‘There but for the grace of God go us,’” said Gareth Lodge, a payments analyst at Celent, a financial consulting firm.

[slope]

Missing apostrophe

[Mr Larrington]

Today in Harlesden a number 18 bus collided across the pavement.

[T42]

Missing apostrophe

That's the least of their problems, given the name will be changing to, "we are cycling The cyclists' champion UK."

Nice font, though.

[hellymedic]

From today Grauniad
<<A spokesman for Johnson on Tuesday defended his record on air pollution as mayor and said he had not hid its impact from Londoners.>>

From http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2016/may/17/boris-johnson-held-back-negative-findings-of-air-pollution-report?CMP=share_btn_tw

[pcolbeck]

From today Grauniad
<<A spokesman for Johnson on Tuesday defended his record on air pollution as mayor and said he had not hid its impact from Londoners.>>

From http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2016/may/17/boris-johnson-held-back-negative-findings-of-air-pollution-report?CMP=share_btn_tw

Well Boris was born in the USA. I suspect he says "fit" instead of "fitted" as well ...