Grammar that makes you cringe

[Mr Larrington]

Interestingly, spent Mr Larrington much childhood in Germany, where fronted adverbs commonplace are...

Nobbut two years, living on an estate full of BRITONS, going to a BRITISH skool and subsisting on food more often than not purchased from the NAAFI.  Interactions with actual Germans were rare.

[T42]

I thought it was AAA points that were the measure of hurtage.

"Say AAAAAA - now, this won't hurt a bit."

[T42]

People writing tonne when they mean ton, as in it cost a tonne of money. It's a wonder they don't write it cost a tonne (0.984 Imperial long tons) of money.

[citoyen]

People writing tonne when they mean ton, as in it cost a tonne of money. It's a wonder they don't write it cost a tonne (0.984 Imperial long tons) of money.

One of my colleagues does this all the time. If I'm editing his copy, I usually change it to 'loads' or something else to avoid the issue.

I think it's a form of hypercorrection, whereby all units are pedantically expressed in metric even if used figuratively.

See also: hide your light under 36.387 litres, go the whole 8.23 metres, give them 2.54cm and they'll take 1,6km...

[Cudzoziemiec]

People writing tonne when they mean ton, as in it cost a tonne of money. It's a wonder they don't write it cost a tonne (0.984 Imperial long tons) of money.

One of my colleagues does this all the time. If I'm editing his copy, I usually change it to 'loads' or something else to avoid the issue.

I think it's a form of hypercorrection, whereby all units are pedantically expressed in metric even if used figuratively.

See also: hiding your light under 36.387 litres, going the whole 8.23 metres, give them 2.54cm and they'll take 1,6km...

Going metric with the punctuation in the last one. 

[citoyen]

Going metric with the punctuation in the last one. 

Gives it an air of Gallic sophistication, innit.

Either that or I pressed the wrong key...

[T42]

See also: hide your light under 36.387 litres, go the whole 8.23 metres, give them 2.54cm and they'll take 1,6km...

Or 1.143 m up in Yorks.

I remember reading a novel by Philip José Farmer untold years ago in which he (or his editor) had stated every quantity in imperial with the metric equivalent in brackets after it, thus: "about a mile (1.6 km) up the river he could see...".  Kinda broke the rhythm.

[citoyen]

Or 1.143 m up in Yorks.

Or 42cm if you go back to the oldest version of the saying.

I remember reading a novel by Philip José Farmer untold years ago in which he (or his editor) had stated every quantity in imperial with the metric equivalent in brackets after it, thus: "about a mile (1.6 km) up the river he could see...".  Kinda broke the rhythm.

That really does make me cringe.

[Cudzoziemiec]

It might make sense for non-fiction but in a novel it's beyond unhelpful.

I've never been keen on the spelling tonne and would prefer ton for both imperial and metric (and American and other) definitions, except where necessary to avoid confusion. And as spelling alone can't avoid confusion between Imperial and American, why use it for the far smaller difference between Imperial and metric?

[L CC]

Yebbut a ton isn't as big as a metric fucktonne, so a distinction must be made

[T42]

Or 1.143 m up in Yorks.

Or 42cm if you go back to the oldest version of the saying.

Oh 'ell... what's that, a short metric cubit?

[ElyDave]

People writing tonne when they mean ton, as in it cost a tonne of money. It's a wonder they don't write it cost a tonne (0.984 Imperial long tons) of money.

maybe they do mean tonne? I deal in 1000kg tonnes all the time and am careful to use either the full spelling or te to avoid any Americanism or imperialism creeping in

[citoyen]

People writing tonne when they mean ton, as in it cost a tonne of money. It's a wonder they don't write it cost a tonne (0.984 Imperial long tons) of money.

maybe they do mean tonne?

But do they mean a tonne of pennies or a tonne of £50 notes? It could make quite a difference.

[T42]

People writing tonne when they mean ton, as in it cost a tonne of money. It's a wonder they don't write it cost a tonne (0.984 Imperial long tons) of money.

maybe they do mean tonne? I deal in 1000kg tonnes all the time and am careful to use either the full spelling or te to avoid any Americanism or imperialism creeping in

No problem, it's a valid unit. But figurative use is misplaced.  I could give you a tun of examples.

[ElyDave]

I'm happy to be paid in beer, cuts out the middleman

[Jasmine]

In this article http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-south-east-wales-41279069

Environment body Natural Resources Wales (NRW) said it discovered the remains of the hedgerow beech trees amounting to 200 metres cubed of felled timber.

I hate it when people say 'metres cubed', but writing it down makes me wince.

Edit - it's now been changed to 200 cubic metres. 

[Asterix, the former Gaul.]

I don't think this particular education tool has been used in the UK:  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sentence_diagram

Probably only in Computer Science.

Yup, formal language theory.  It has a weird beauty normally only found in the further reaches of outer space.  It is computer science, underpinning formal verification of computer programs you really don't want to have failing on you.  The Vienna Development Method is an early approach to program proving.  If you thought writing software was easy.. although most programs in commerce are written by guess and by god.

[Mr Larrington]

P9230248 by Mr Larrington, on Flickr

It rather looks as though some nincomfuck has tried to correct a sign which was already right...

[Pickled Onion]

... up to the last sentence

[T42]

"Insane" when the perpetrator means "rather unusual". Sure, the public fixes on such expressions now and then - I remember when the mildly surprising was constantly described as amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing in the 80s - but this latest fad is even more idiotic.

[Mr Larrington]

See also "awesome" as an adjective meaning anything from "jaw-droppingly, mind-buggeringly amazingly amazing" to "a bit different".  Doubly so if you hail from the part of California south of I-80.

[ian]

My former boss was 'Awesome George' on account that he awesomed everything. Eventually, he had to default to 'super awesome' to cover those situations that weren't just mildly awesome.

[T42]

I rather think that "insane" is the new "awesome". They're both "awful".

[citoyen]

Here's one we discussed earlier...

[The French Tandem]

^^Hard disks are getting heavier due to the zillions of electrons they carry