Grammar that makes you cringe

[SandyV]

Silver bullets!  Haven't noticed a werewolf plague but there must be as I keep getting asked for them.

[Wowbagger]

From the same catalogue, however, WTF is 'Lifestyle seating'?

It's probably something you use to create a "lifestyle ambience", a preposterous phrase I heard used on some ridiculous home makeover programme a few years ago.

My son, who must have been about 6 or 7 at the time, misheard it as "lifecycle ambulance", which to be fair, makes just as much sense.

d.

"Makeover" is a word I detest with a peculiar intensity.

[Cudzoziemiec]

Makeup will give you a makeover, then you can makeout with the accountant and makeoff with all the money.

[windrush]

Actually better not hope some non-cyclist sees this, as I've got a feeling they could find a fair few pseudo-tecchie marketing phrases in our sport 
As in the word 'aero' being used to describe anything that looks streamlined, whether or not its been wind tunnel tested.

[windrush]

I've just noticed 'Aqua' on the shampoo bottle, a mysterious ingredient that magically wets your hair.

[CrinklyLion]

I saw this, and I thought of "you"

The “Blog” of “Unnecessary” Quotation Marks

[Eccentrica Gallumbits]

I've just noticed 'Aqua' on the shampoo bottle, a mysterious ingredient that magically wets your hair.

There was a tv advert a few years ago for some new moisturiser containing "aquaspheres." We assumed they meant "blobs of water."

[Cudzoziemiec]

I believe water is described as aqua in lists of chemical ingredients in line with some international standard.

[citoyen]

I believe water is described as aqua in lists of chemical ingredients in line with some international standard.

Yes - an international standard devised by the cosmetics industry to mislead consumers.

According to this, the purpose is "for the purchaser to reduce the risk of an allergic reaction to an ingredient the user has had an allergy to before", but it's hard to see how that argument applies to calling water anything other than water.

d.

[Cudzoziemiec]

I don't see how you could have an allergy to water. But I don't claim to know that for certain.

However, calling water "aqua" isn't entirely misleading - the same list is used in all languages,* as far as I can see, so a Latin word that will be vaguely familiar from school chemistry lessons is quite likely better than an English one that will be totally unfamiliar to many/most. Of course, they could just translate the list, as with food ingredients, but there are two problems with that: 1) most chemicals have no common name in any language 2) having the same list for all means you can recognise an ingredient you know you are allergic to, wherever you may be.

Then again, the fact they do translate for Cyrillic, Arabic, etc, counteracts the second point (I don't know to what extent it's actually a translation, I expect it's more a transliteration).

*that use the Roman alphabet.

[clarion]

water has a name in every language I know.

[Cudzoziemiec]

Takes a tube of toothpaste from the bathroom.
No ingredients list. Hmmm...
Takes a bottle of shampoo (made and bought in Poland).

Składniki:
Aqua, Sodium Laureth Sulfate, Cocamidopropyl Betaine, Methylchloroisothiasolinone (and) Methylisothiasolinone, ACID Citric, Propylene Glycol Turnig Extract, Sodium Chloride, Parfum, Cocamide DEA

I bet most of those ingredients don't have a name in most languages.

But... While I can see the logic in such "worldese" as "aqua" and "parfum", why do we have "(and)" in English? Why is ACID in capitals? As far as I'm aware it's not an acronym. And should we be worried that if they can't check for typos such as "Turnig" - they mean turnip - there may be other, perhaps more important, misprints? And why in any case is "Turnip" in English - it must have a scientific name that could be used?

But this all pales into insignificance compared to the toothpaste. You put it in your mouth, you want to know what it's made of!

[mattc]

Does poland really have shampoo made out of turnips?  Fantastic 

[CAMRAMan]

Does poland really have shampoo made out of turnips?  Fantastic 

It's good for the roots...

IGMC

[Cudzoziemiec]

It's supposed to be good for greasy hair. Or perhaps it's dandruff or something, I forget.

Anyway it occured to me the following kind of translated lists could be used:
Ingredients/Składniki: Water/Woda, Cocamidopropyle, Turnip Extract/Wyciąg z rzepaka, Camel fat/Tłuszcz z wielbłąda, ....

No, we don't actually have shampoo made from camel fat. But I'm sure it would be good for something!

[Moloko]

It's supposed to be good for greasy hair. Or perhaps it's dandruff or something, I forget.

Anyway it occured to me the following kind of translated lists could be used:
Ingredients/Składniki: Water/Woda, Cocamidopropyle, Turnip Extract/Wyciąg z rzepaka, Camel fat/Tłuszcz z wielbłąda, ....

No, we don't actually have shampoo made from camel fat. But I'm sure it would be good for something!

That one, as it contains lemon juice.

[citoyen]

I don't see how you could have an allergy to water. But I don't claim to know that for certain.

There is a very rare condition that causes the skin to have an allergic reaction to water. Possibly not entirely relevant here since a person with that condition probably wouldn't be in a position to use shampoo anyway.

Of course, they could just translate the list, as with food ingredients, but there are two problems with that: 1) most chemicals have no common name in any language 2) having the same list for all means you can recognise an ingredient you know you are allergic to, wherever you may be.

Mmm, maybe. I'm not convinced, but I'm not affected by any allergies so I don't know how it works in practice.

d.

[Greenbank]

Aquagenia umm, errr, aarrrgh I did know this. Severe histamine reaction...

*gives up and googles*

Aquagenic Urticaria.

[meddyg]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f8fbrUjjivw&feature=player_embedded

another 'Downfall' script; apologies if it appears on page 38....




COI I am Obersturmbannfuhrer in the Spelling Stasi...

[rower40]

Latest USAism that has made its way here; the dropped preposition.

"In Cinemas Friday" - what's wrong with "In Cinemas On Friday"?

[clarion]

What's up that?

[Julian]

The labels on the doors in the scout hut we stopped at on the FNRttC:

Scout's
Guide's
Beaver's
Cub's
Browneis

[Cudzoziemiec]

Brown eis, hmm, sounds distinctly NSFW!

[Regulator]

Alongside my hate of the misuse of 'less' and 'fewer', I would like to add the misuse of 'sex' and 'gender', and 'fertility' and 'fecundity'... 

And why is it always the so-called 'experts' who use the wrong words?   

Perhaps we shouldn't allow someone to get a PhD unless they can quote Fowlers by heart...   

[Ian H]

...unless they can quote Fowlers by heart...   

Fowlers is not uncontroversial.