Author Topic: Things you only do once (Read 29442 times)

Mr Larrington · « **Reply #50 on:** 17 November, 2009, 01:34:27 pm »

Quote from: Mal Volio on 16 November, 2009, 09:11:56 am

Allow your shoe lace to get caught in the chain of a fixed wheel bike.

It's not that much fun on gears either, especially in the middle of Hammersmith Broadway during the rush hour

Spend weeks trying to track down that annoying rattle coming from Bog knows where; finally trace it to watch bracelet

nicknack · « **Reply #51 on:** 17 November, 2009, 01:38:01 pm »

Adjust mirror on recumbent at about 5mph.
Straight into ditch (luckily dry).

Wire up in-line mains connector so that male part is on the bit that connects to the mains. I discovered that when I picked it up.

Jaded · « **Reply #52 on:** 17 November, 2009, 01:41:40 pm »

Hand wash a lab coat with a scalpel blade in the pocket.

Zipperhead · « **Reply #53 on:** 17 November, 2009, 02:26:52 pm »

Good grief, this page seems to be populated with Nutty's (notso) distant relatives.

nicknack · « **Reply #54 on:** 17 November, 2009, 02:32:43 pm »

Nah. We only do it once...

alecstilleyedye · « **Reply #55 on:** 17 November, 2009, 03:39:07 pm »

remove a pedal using an allen key with the chain on anything other than the big ring…

clarion · « **Reply #56 on:** 17 November, 2009, 03:40:40 pm »

Spray an item with copious amounts of switchcleaner while holding it on the lap of your best suit

Wowbagger · « **Reply #57 on:** 17 November, 2009, 06:29:16 pm »

Quote from: Blue Manc on 17 November, 2009, 12:12:21 pm

Chop some chillies, neglect to wash your hands, then go for a pee.......

Quote from: Bledlow on 17 November, 2009, 12:55:20 pm

.... or rub your eyes.

... or make love to your wife/girlfriend.

And no, I haven't made the mistake of handling chillies first.

Jacomus · « **Reply #58 on:** 17 November, 2009, 06:35:33 pm »

Quote from: wowbagger on 17 November, 2009, 06:29:16 pm

Quote from: Blue Manc on 17 November, 2009, 12:12:21 pm
Chop some chillies, neglect to wash your hands, then go for a pee.......
Quote from: Bledlow on 17 November, 2009, 12:55:20 pm
.... or rub your eyes.
... or make love to your wife/girlfriend.

And no, I haven't made the mistake of handling chillies first.

I have - you really do only do it once!

Paul · « **Reply #59 on:** 02 July, 2012, 10:10:31 pm »

Assume that, because you haven't seen the 'min insert' mark on the seat pin, there's loads of it left in the second hand bike you just bought.

Rode the new-to-me Mercian to work for the first time in drop bar guise today. Got to work knowing that the saddle was too low, so raised it about 10mm.

On the ride home I thought it needed another 5mm or so and, because I had to stop to put the overshoes on anyway, eased the pin up but, before I could get to 5mm, out it came!

Previous owner had cut off some of the unused pin, including the 'min insert' marking. For half my ride home I'd had about 5mm of pin in the tube. That's a close enough call. I won't assume next time.

LEE · « **Reply #60 on:** 02 July, 2012, 10:19:14 pm »

Hold the spark-plug HT lead of your Yamaha FS1E to see if there's a spark, in the unscrewed spark-plug, when you kick the engine over.

That was 34 years ago but I still remember it.

It's like being punched, about 10 times, very quickly, in the chest.

Somnolent · « **Reply #61 on:** 02 July, 2012, 11:33:59 pm »

My dad had a small penknife for many years with a small hole burned through one of the blades from messing with a spark plug.... on a Renault 16 IIRC.

Mine is failing to check for a washer under the cranknut on a square taper.... crank remover woudnt budge, so I put the extension bar on and promptly stripped the thread, and then having to remove a previously perfectly serviceable crankset destructively.

Hummers · « **Reply #62 on:** 03 July, 2012, 05:24:59 am »

Excessive speed + loss of concentration + gateway = clipping the handlebars whilst passing through whilch results in a spectacular headplant on the ground and a visit the nearest A&E for stitches

AND THEN 3 MONTHS LATER

Not checking the aforementioned handlebars for damage (e.g. a crack in the middle of the bars hidden under the clamp) + getting out of the saddle to climb a short/steep incline on the same bloody cyclepath = another offski, this time resulting in a broken collar bone treated at the same A&E

Know the risks.

H

Ham · « **Reply #63 on:** 03 July, 2012, 07:23:46 am »

I feel your pain..... GWS

(or at least I might have done if I wasn't lucky-er/ish)

Manotea · « **Reply #64 on:** 03 July, 2012, 07:49:14 am »

Waiting to see just how worn a wheel rim will get before it splits. Once I found out I instantly lost interest in the subject.

Having a fork steerer crack is an experience I never want to repeat.

_{An overlong steerer column and the vast amounts of side to side torque generated by an overweight fixer climbing hills induces the sort of metal fatigue that causes wings to fall off planes. Time to failure in a new pair of forks was about two years. Something to cheer the heart of everybody riding a bike with an ali steerer...}

Viking · « **Reply #65 on:** 03 July, 2012, 09:44:40 am »

hold the bar of an electric fire then switch it on to se how quickly it heated up. I woke up upside down on the other side of the room. I was only young at the time.

ki_bike · « **Reply #66 on:** 03 July, 2012, 08:37:37 pm »

Really made me chuckle reading these

padrig · « **Reply #67 on:** 04 July, 2012, 01:09:04 pm »

Slam on the front brake in order to stop very suddenly.

dave r · « **Reply #68 on:** 05 July, 2012, 10:09:55 pm »

Quote from: Mr Larrington on 17 November, 2009, 01:34:27 pm

Quote from: Mal Volio on 16 November, 2009, 09:11:56 am
Allow your shoe lace to get caught in the chain of a fixed wheel bike.

It's not that much fun on gears either, especially in the middle of Hammersmith Broadway during the rush hour

Spend weeks trying to track down that annoying rattle coming from Bog knows where; finally trace it to watch bracelet

I've fallen for the metal watch strap as well, must have rebuilt half the bike before I realized, afterwards the bike was running the best it had run for years.

dave r · « **Reply #69 on:** 05 July, 2012, 10:16:38 pm »

Quote from: LEE on 02 July, 2012, 10:19:14 pm

Hold the spark-plug HT lead of your Yamaha FS1E to see if there's a spark, in the unscrewed spark-plug, when you kick the engine over.

That was 34 years ago but I still remember it.

It's like being punched, about 10 times, very quickly, in the chest.

Years ago I had a Triumph 500, Speedtwin, the choke was operated by a lever on top of the carb. I used to start off and ride a short distance down the road then reach under the tank and flick the lever to take the choke off, or I did till one day I reached down to flick the choke off and got a hand full of spark plug leads.

dave r · « **Reply #70 on:** 05 July, 2012, 10:20:30 pm »

Quote from: Blue Manc on 17 November, 2009, 12:12:21 pm

Chop some chillies, neglect to wash your hands, then go for a pee.......

The other one is to put Deep Heat on a pulled or strained muscle then go for a pee instead of going for a pee before you applied the deep heat.

SandyV · « **Reply #71 on:** 06 July, 2012, 09:49:50 am »

Put the car keys in your jersey pocket (just for a minute) and then ride off on a 200 leaving your other half stranded - extra points for having your mobile turned off to save the battery

tiermat · « **Reply #72 on:** 06 July, 2012, 09:51:43 am »

Pee on a lamppost....

slohill · « **Reply #73 on:** 06 July, 2012, 11:31:34 am »

Adjust the clearance between your computer pick-up on the front forks and the wheel magnet, whilst riding.

hatler · « **Reply #74 on:** 18 August, 2012, 12:49:41 am »

Remove the cast iron diffuser ring on a gas hob, place your finger on the sparking stub, press ignition button. Really. Broadly similar to spark plugs and things but probably a little less severe.

Pick up a Morris Minor engine by yourself.

Hold on to spark plug lead on a petrol lawnmower (not connected to the plug), and then very gently pull the starting cord to see when you start feeling the shock. Pull slightly faster 'cos there's no shock. Then slightly faster, and slightly faster again. Then give it a good yank, convinced that it's not working. It will.

Buy a Triumph Dolomite 1850. I swore that if I ever found the desiner of the engine I would bludgeon him/her to death. (Bizarrely a friend of mine ended up working with the co-designers. They apparently claimed they were working under instructions from Saab. Soooo many things wrong with that engine.)