We travelled up on Friday and I met my supporters at the hotel. I ended up having another shocking night's sleep and woke up feeling awful. Walking around the HQ before setting off I had several 'don't want to do this' thoughts. I chose to ignore them and put everything together, facing the timekeeper at 13:40.
The weather was warm and sunny for the early miles and I wound the gear up and started to feel good, averaging 23mph at my first bottle pick up at Prees. I was picking starters off pretty regularly on the Espley leg, returning to Prees still averaging 23s. As I headed down to Battlebridge there was the first biblical shower and I was soaked through. It was brief and I could see the sun ahead. I was dry when I got back to Prees and did another Espley leg, before my first stop at 4hrs. I had only been caught by one rider at that point, Paul Jackson.
On the return from Battlebridge it started to rain heavily again and I grabbed a cape back at Prees.
On joining the QB circuit I was averaging 22.5mph but it was then that it really started to rain. The roads were awash but my speed was OK. I was getting soaked from above and below and beginning to get cold. It stayed like this for a couple of laps and then the rain stopped as I started a third circuit. Unconsciously I had stopped drinking and, when I tried, I couldn't squeeze the bottle to get any fluid out. At the same time it had got harder to get into my gels and bars as I had lost the feeling in the end of my fingers.
I returned to Prees at 7.5hrs with 161 miles on the clock. I asked to have my 8hr stop early, putting on my track top and a gilet but I still couldn't feel my hands and was starting to shake. We cadged a pair of gloves from another team but I couldn't get them on even with help. At one point I had my hands inside my helpers jacket trying to warm up. After 20 minutes of this I called the ride off, sat down and had a little cry. I'd spent the last 9 months building for this and it was over.
Was it the right decision ? Probably. I may have done some proper damage if I'd carried on. I talked to another team at the hotel and they described what I looked like when I climbed off. I have noticed that my weight loss has made me more susceptible to the cold so will need to monitor and plan for this.
What now ? Don't know. I'm now on holiday for a week and not racing again this year. I have the option to pick up with my coach again in November. I feel like I have it in me to improve on my previous distance, but not sure I can give it all again.