Break in, bike theft and lots of damage

[mrcharly-YHT]

Rottweiler in shed.

I loath guard dogs. But stories like yours explain why people get them.

[Polar Bear]

I have a different plan but I'm not going to share it here.   It will ensure that I get the scum good and proper without causing them any harm or distress.   I suppose I have to do for myself what the police here are patently incapable of doing.

[mrcharly-YHT]

I have a different plan but I'm not going to share it here.   It will ensure that I get the scum good and proper without causing them any harm or distress. 

You are being too nice, IMO.

The one time I'd had to personally deal with vandalizing, robbing scum (they were targeting a dinghy sailing club), I caught them at it and gave them a full-on sargent-major telling off. To my complete amazement, one broke down in tears, the others looked scared out of their wits and they never came back.
I probably looked and sounded like a raving psychotic maniac with a 110decibal voice, the sort of person you see on the street and cross over to avoid.

[Cudzoziemiec]

Whereas I took PB's "without causing them any harm or distress" to mean "without breaking any of their limbs or endangering their lives". Perhaps something involving bears and shovels, but blunted shovels and bears on short chains. Whatever your plan is, PB, I hope it works.

[Polar Bear]

There will be multiple sources of evidence and it will be indisputable.