Author Topic: Jobs You Got Fired From  (Read 913 times)

Torslanda

  • Professional Gobshite
  • Just a tart for retro kit . . .
    • John's Bikes
Jobs You Got Fired From
« on: June 12, 2018, 05:51:42 pm »
Have we done this already?

My last job fired me after I'd already started the bike shop. I'd already (in my head) walked anyway, spent a month or so on a sick note and simply stopped communicating with them.

Opened for business on the 1st of November and got a P45 as a Xmas card!

Where have you had the Order of the Boot from? And what was the reason?
Extra points for ridiculous/amusing reasons, it's not meant to be an exercise in bitterness...
VELOMANCER

Well that's the more blunt way of putting it but as usual he's dead right.

ian

  • fatuously disingenuous
    • The Suburban Survival Guide
Re: Jobs You Got Fired From
« Reply #1 on: June 12, 2018, 07:42:36 pm »
I've never been fired (which surprises me and everyone who knows me). I did fire myself once and simply walk out. As the boardroom table was in the way and the meeting was quite crowded, that meant I had to walk across the table to get to the door and thusly vacate the room and premises.
!nataS pihsroW

Re: Jobs You Got Fired From
« Reply #2 on: June 12, 2018, 07:58:16 pm »
Ditto. Fourty years this summer, man and boy. Though the threat currently hanging over us does make me wonder if I’ll get to that milestone.
Sorting my life out, one shed at a time.

road-runner

  • is in Slovakia.
Re: Jobs You Got Fired From
« Reply #3 on: June 12, 2018, 10:44:24 pm »
Once upon a time I worked in a call centre for Apple where we were told that we had to take at least 38 calls each day - tech support for Apple's customers. When important customers (eg. The Guardian, U2) needed help, I was usually chosen as they thought I was especially patient and thorough.

One day they chose to fire me. The reason? I had not taken at least 38 calls every day.

What I wasn't told but learned later is that the call centre was to be closed the following month and the manager had the task of firing as many of us as possible to save on redundancy costs.

Re: Jobs You Got Fired From
« Reply #4 on: June 12, 2018, 11:12:42 pm »
I had a casual job delivering furniture until I crumpled the fancy van on a low bridge.

Shame, but if you pay (off the books) peanuts...
L'enfer, c'est les autos.

Wowbagger

  • Dez's butler
    • Musings of a Gentleman Cyclist
Re: Jobs You Got Fired From
« Reply #5 on: June 13, 2018, 12:34:14 am »
Voluntary redundancy probably doesn't count. That was how I left the Civil Service.

For 16 years I wrote chess articles for the Recorder group of newspapers (Ilford, Romford, Newham and even as far away as the Ham & High). The Recorder group was taken over by (I think) the D. Express or some such, and they had a particular formula for running a local newspaper which didn't actually include any decent content at all, but was merely a load of crap with many adverts.

So they gave me, and a number of other correspondents, the push. It was a bit of a shame because I think I was only the 4th, and definitely the least illustrious, person to have occupied that position of Chess Correspondent. My predecessors were F.F.L. Alexander, T. H. (Tommy) George and Harry Woolverton.

I just googled and found one of my own articles! http://www.chesscolumn.co.uk/2002/art1031.html I had forgotten that I had written that.
Basses lower the tone.

Ben T

  • Viable.
Re: Jobs You Got Fired From
« Reply #6 on: June 13, 2018, 06:51:47 am »
I once worked on the till in makro, and they got rid of the chairs [that the till operators sat on] to save/make money, so I just stopped going in and being the student I was just didn't bother telling them, just stopped turning up. Not sure if that was a sacking or technically a resignation...
Just don't think about it too much.

T42

  • Old fool in a hurry
Re: Jobs You Got Fired From
« Reply #7 on: June 13, 2018, 08:57:06 am »
In 1983 the company I worked for went bankrupt but was bought out for its client base. They kept on all the programmers and made the managers redundant. I got shown the door with 6 months' salary in my pocket, bought a new car, went independent and quadrupled my income.
I dare eat all that may become a man.

But hold the oysters.

Re: Jobs You Got Fired From
« Reply #8 on: June 13, 2018, 11:08:07 am »
There used to be a place in Bath, right next to the abbey, called Binks. Prime tourist location. It was a cafe in the daytime, a restaurant in the evening and it also had a little place selling ice creams directly to the Abbey square. I worked in all three parts. In the ice cream parlour, we had to make a little stack of all the cones that got broken so they could be counted at the end of the day. One day a woman came in to the ice cream parlour asking if she could have just an empty cone for her baby, so I gave her one of the broken ones. A manager saw me do this, marched in and gave me a week's notice. Ironically I spent most of that last week in the ice cream parlour.

As an aside, during the one summer I was there, that manager had physically assaulted a customer, and another manager (a nice one, who was also rumoured to be the only one who did not steal money from the tills and get it deducted from the till operator's wages – though that never happened to me) had been attacked by an irate customer. The one who fired me threw himself off a bridge not long after.
The earth is vast and beautiful and contains many miraculous places. (Chekhov)

Re: Jobs You Got Fired From
« Reply #9 on: June 13, 2018, 11:14:47 am »
After years of frustration I told the M.D. at the time he didn’t know what he was doing (he didn’t, abject wanker so far up his own arse it was painful). That didn’t help my cause, with the inevitable outcome. No regrets personally, I got out with a tidy sum and they went bust a few months later. My only regret was the many good people who lost their livelihood as a result.

A

Pedaldog

  • Dog-Botherer.
  • This wreckage I call "Me".
Re: Jobs You Got Fired From
« Reply #10 on: June 13, 2018, 01:32:43 pm »
Barbados, 1987. A Company Paid holiday for the "Top 12, Worldwide, Sales staff and spouses". I didn't like the UK MD and, when we were out on a sailing ship in the Caribbean, Six of us hanging above the water on a rope, my left foot "Slipped, quite forcefully", into the small of his back. This caused him to slip off the rope and, unfortunately, we found out he couldn't swim. We discussed his "Looking weak in front of his international bosses and cohorts" and, when we got back to the UK I had an offer to transfer to Sales Manager in a different, 55 miles away, office.
Know-nothing Bozo.

CAMRAMan

  • Formerly A Warwickshire Lad
Re: Jobs You Got Fired From
« Reply #11 on: June 13, 2018, 01:41:30 pm »
Budapest 2006. I foolishly transferred myself to a division of a CAD software company headed by a twatty Arkansian (?). He ran it like John Wayne in one of his war films and took a project off me & gave it to a colleague without any notice or explanation. Thereafter I spent my days surfing the web and dossing. In the end, that got boring, so I kept asking for a meeting with the twat. Eventually we got together & I asked him to fire me, so he did - giving me 6-weeks gardening leave. Little did he know that the company was thereby compelled by Hungarian law to pay me until the end of my 1-year contract - I was four months into it. He tried to back pedal, but the papers were signed and I got a lovely pay off; walked into a better job from a recommendation from someone else the twat had upset; so it worked out very nicely.
Haggerty F, Haggerty R, Tomkins, Noble, Carrick, Robson, Crapper, Dewhurst, Macintyre, Treadmore, Davitt.

Aunt Maud

  • Le Flâneur.
Re: Jobs You Got Fired From
« Reply #12 on: June 13, 2018, 01:51:20 pm »
Sacked from a ski mechanic job in Thredbo for activities with the bosses' wife which weren't part of my official job description.

Re: Jobs You Got Fired From
« Reply #13 on: June 13, 2018, 02:18:01 pm »
At the tender age of 16, I was sacked from my post as barman at my school's Sixth Form Club for being a bit wobbly on duty... :-[

Torslanda

  • Professional Gobshite
  • Just a tart for retro kit . . .
    • John's Bikes
Re: Jobs You Got Fired From
« Reply #14 on: June 13, 2018, 04:03:56 pm »
Pedaldog. That's a stoater!

AM. Didn't know you were a gardener . . .
VELOMANCER

Well that's the more blunt way of putting it but as usual he's dead right.

Gus

  • Harden the f*ck up !!
    • We will return
Re: Jobs You Got Fired From
« Reply #15 on: June 13, 2018, 04:40:26 pm »
Many years ago , I got sacked from my lab. technician job, they wanted to relocate me to Wavre in Belgium, make me a leader of the laboratory and lower my annual wage 15%.
But I would get a nice title.....
They couldn't understand why I declined. ::-) ::-)

Wowbagger

  • Dez's butler
    • Musings of a Gentleman Cyclist
Re: Jobs You Got Fired From
« Reply #16 on: June 13, 2018, 05:02:04 pm »
Sacked from a ski mechanic job in Thredbo for activities with the bosses' wife which weren't part of my official job description.

Without wishing to go off to Pedant's Corner, I feel that the placing of your apostrophe is crucial here. How many bosses? How many wives?

And Well Done!  :D
Basses lower the tone.

Aunt Maud

  • Le Flâneur.
Re: Jobs You Got Fired From
« Reply #17 on: June 13, 2018, 05:23:48 pm »
I was wondering about that, is it boss' wife for singular one boss one wife and bosses' for multiple bosses and multiple wives ?

I won't mention the boss' stepdaughter.

Jaded

  • The Codfather
  • Formerly known as Jaded
Re: Jobs You Got Fired From
« Reply #18 on: June 13, 2018, 05:58:35 pm »
boss's wife - the wife of your boss

bosses' wives - all the wives of all your bosses

boss's wives - all the wives of your polygamous boss

bosses' wife - one wife between multiple bosses

(I think..)
If you don't like your democracy, vote against it.

fboab

  • It's a fecking serious business, riding a bike
Re: Jobs You Got Fired From
« Reply #19 on: June 13, 2018, 07:37:05 pm »
I got sacked from a job milking cows.

By my then - husband.

:facepalm:
TSS is not Total Sex Score, Chris!

Re: Jobs You Got Fired From
« Reply #20 on: June 13, 2018, 07:48:00 pm »
"I always started a job with the feeling that I'd soon quit or be fired, and this gave me a relaxed manner that was mistaken for intelligence or some secret power."
Charles Bukowski
The earth is vast and beautiful and contains many miraculous places. (Chekhov)

PaulF

  • "World's Scariest Barman"
  • It's only impossible if you stop to think about it
Re: Jobs You Got Fired From
« Reply #21 on: June 13, 2018, 07:49:08 pm »
Sacked from a ski mechanic job in Thredbo for activities with the bosses' wife which weren't part of my official job description.

We have a winner, despite the apostrophe :) with an honourable mention for Pedaldog

Porkins

  • Formerly Nick H. And a long time ago etc, Eurostar
Re: Jobs You Got Fired From
« Reply #22 on: June 13, 2018, 10:17:43 pm »
Hired as Shimano UK Brand Manager by Madison. The director who hired me was under the impression that because my business card said IBM Marketing Representative I must be some sort of marketing whizz. Actually I was a lowly sales support oaf who knew a little about how to order stuff from the IBM behemoth. The MD, who was separated from the director, came back from his holiday with me installed, expecting some training. Yet another reason for him to re-examine his marriage. It became apparent that I had zero relevant experience. After 6 weeks I was released back into the wild.

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Re: Jobs You Got Fired From
« Reply #23 on: June 13, 2018, 10:26:05 pm »
I always quit before they could fire me
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

Re: Jobs You Got Fired From
« Reply #24 on: June 14, 2018, 09:20:07 am »
I was wondering about that, is it boss' wife for singular one boss one wife and bosses' for multiple bosses and multiple wives ?

I won't mention the boss' stepdaughter.
I think that TTIUWP  ;D
Sorting my life out, one shed at a time.