Silly Stuff You Do

[CAMRAMan]

My commute takes me along a rural road that has a slaughterhouse on it. I often see small & large vehicles carrying sheep on their final journey there and I always, somewhat sadly, sing 'One Way Ticket' by Boney M.

[Torslanda]

Except that the song was a bit for "Eruption"...

[Legs]

I intentionally mispronounce words; my favourite is ori-GI-nal to rhyme with vaginal (see also: picture-skew, pur-CHASE, skellington...)

My wife and I have in-jokes in the same way that many families do, including making the observation that "a tree is a very efficient way of storing wood", or the factoid that Funchal (the principal city on Madeira) derives its name from the fennel plantations which presumably were once there.

[Torslanda]

I thought that was where Cloister the Stupid promised to take Cat ...

[CAMRAMan]

Except that the song was a bit for "Eruption"...

?

[ElyDave]

Legs reminds me that when my daughter was younger, she had the habit of regularly vomiting, particularly where there was any potential stress involved (school dinners, she wasn't a good eater  ), and with my son having low muscle tone as well, belching at the dinner table was positively encouraged to prevent  .

We developed our own burp-fart scale, rather than Beaufort scale, logarithmic of course.  Marks out of ten were given regularly. I have the record 

[Torslanda]

Except that the song was a bit for "Eruption"...

?

Bastard auto text bollox.

"Hit" and the group was called "Eruption".

[ian]

Climbing trees. I used to climb every tree. I sincerely believed that a monkey-like climbing ability was high on the list of criteria women were using to select a mate (ok, after a modest but hopefully representative sampling of female-kind, it's apparently not even in the top 10).

Used to, because I hit that spot a year or so back when half-way up a tree I found I didn't quite have the youthful strength to haul myself up or, for that matter, to get back down. So like a stupid kitten, I just hung there. Apparently getting stuck up a tree is even lower than monkey-like climbing ability on the female mate-select-o-meter.

In the end I opted to gracefully fall out of the tree and lie on the ground until things stopped hurting. I like to say I was wrapped in warm sympathy, but alas a chorus of cachinnation.

[andytheflyer]

Drive 170 miles round trip to see Steve Hackett play Genesis in Nottingham last night...….

Mind you, he was good, really good.

Not been to a live gig in years.  The last one was Rick Wakeman, and behind me the seats were occupied by the St Johns Ambulance guys, with a defibrillator.  That should have told me something.  Thinking though, my last live gig could have been Wishbone Ash.

Last night, doors opened 7pm and I aimed to get there about 7-15, with last Saturday's Telegraph so I'd have something to read for the cutomary hour and a half or so before he came on.  At 7-35, the lights went down and the band came on.  It was all over by 9-50. What happened to gigs starting at 9-30 and finishing gone 11?  I was home in bed by 1am.

Maybe Hackett needs his Ovaltine and a good nights sleep too. I must be getting old.  And my ears are still ringing.......

[essexian]

Talking about cats, whenever I see a cat while out walking/cycling, I blow it a kiss.

Try it. The cat hears the kiss and thinks: "Yes, that must be for me as I am wonderful" and looks around to see who has supplied it.

Sadly, they then tend to run off and hide in case I come in for a full snog. 

[Tim Hall]

I do the gesture at sliding doors thing too, much to the annoyance of who ever is with me.


When the kids were smaller I would clap at traffic lights to make them change.
Clap.
Lights Change.
Therefore clapping makes lights change.

No children, correlation does not equal causation, no sweeties for you. Now they just roll their eyes.

[Palinurus]

Singing to my cat. Usually at mealtimes, typically improvised songs about how tasty cat food is.

[Efrogwr]

I only talk to the next door neighbours cat, usually to explai to him yet again that I only feed him when his people are on holiday.

[essexian]

I only talk to the next door neighbours cat, usually to explai to him yet again that I only feed him when his people are on holiday.

And that works???

Blimey, this morning we fed Elma, Posie, Pixie and Jamise.... our four.... along with Eric the stray, His Lordship, Lord Rayner, The Ginger Whinger and Mog. We also fed Snowflake who has just had kittens somewhere local: we aren't sure where. I bet in six to eight weeks we will be feeding them too!

[T42]

I have been known (but not by many) to finish planing a bit of wood and kiss the plane.  Taking shaving after shaving a couple of thou thick is immensely satisfying - it's almost disappointing to achieve the right dimensions and have to stop.

[Andrij]

Drive 200km (round trip) to buy sandwiches.   

[Kim]

Drive 200km (round trip) to buy sandwiches.

That's ridiculous, you should totally use a bike for that sort of thing.

[Efrogwr]

I only talk to the next door neighbours cat, usually to explai to him yet again that I only feed him when his people are on holiday.

And that works???

Of course

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not

!

[ElyDave]

I talk to my trees, I may have mentioned that already. 

[telstarbox]

The best bit about talking the cats is that moment when it looks like they're just about to reply but remember The Rule About Conversing with Humans. They'd probably be able to write it down. If they could hold a pen, of course.

My wife and I confuse potential pursuers by never using actual train station names. Instead, we have invented names, for instance, 'Charing Cross' is 'Angry Chas' and London Bridge is 'Lumpy Pig.' As we've transposed bridge to pig, that applies to all, so 'Edenbridge' becomes 'Edenpigs' (plural because it has two stations). This doesn't just confuse pursuers, it confuses everyone else when we forget that our nomenclature is not universal.

London Fridge for me as pre rebuild it was a bloody cold place to wait for a train!

Bexleyheath is Bexleyhth because that's what the satnav calls it from the A2.

I also have a stupid song which I sing when riding through West Wickham.

[T42]

My wife and I confuse potential pursuers by never using actual train station names. Instead, we have invented names, for instance, 'Charing Cross' is 'Angry Chas' and London Bridge is 'Lumpy Pig.' As we've transposed bridge to pig, that applies to all, so 'Edenbridge' becomes 'Edenpigs' (plural because it has two stations). This doesn't just confuse pursuers, it confuses everyone else when we forget that our nomenclature is not universal.

We used to do that with various names, e.g. Strasbourg/Strasperry, Haguenau/Agony, Prisunic/Prize Eunuch and, when we lived south of Paris, La Ferté-Alais was Farty Alice.

[ElyDave]

Kings Cross - St Pancras became Kings Cross - Spankrel
Hammersmith and City line became Hamblespliff and Pretty

[Basil]

We call Aberystwyth 'Aberwristwatch' and Llandysul in the winter becomes 'Llan-dismal'.

[trekker12]

On our shopping list I always spell Hunny the correct way as taught by Winnie the Pooh

[Ham]

When driving through france from Calais, no matter what the time of day or night or the somnambulance state of my passengers, when we pass the first sign to Aarques, I squawk like a parrot, loudly. (at least, a parrot that squawks "Ark")