Super-Twat

[perpetual dan]

...

I lost a Swiss Army knife on the same basis (not in Aus, departing UK), but they let me post it back to myself, envelopes thoughtfully provided in a vending machine.

Are you allowed to post knives in the normal post?

[ElyDave]

...

I lost a Swiss Army knife on the same basis (not in Aus, departing UK), but they let me post it back to myself, envelopes thoughtfully provided in a vending machine.

Are you allowed to post knives in the normal post?

Shhhhhhh!

They told me to do it (airport security)

[cygnet]

I’ve fallen foul of Australian Border Control. I made the mistake of carrying a travel guitar into the country. First, they gave me a very hard time for not having a certificate of renewable forestry sourcing. I got round that by directing them to the Traveler Guitar website. Then they made me surrender the truss rod Allen key. I asked why? ‘You might try to take the aircraft apart’ quoth they. ‘I’m the Captain’ said I, ‘the clue’s in the uniform’. Stony-faced silence. I gave up the tool.

Brilliant!

I've NOT fallen foul of AUS Border Control, having reclaimed the wrong bag from the depository, and passed through immigration. Bag mistake noticed as I tried to check it in to my onward flight and couldn't.

Sometimes you can make mistakes with no consequences...

[Mr Larrington]

Imagine being such a twat that even a fellow presenter on Radio Free Gammon LBC calls you out on your twattitude.

Based on my above - I believe, fully scientific & verified - CONCERNS around potential for CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY, I have had no choice but to become a CONSCIENTIOUS OBJECTOR in #solidarity with the UNVACCINATED. I will NOT be getting any BOOSTERS.

Take a bow, Maajid Nawaz, Super-Twat and Bar, whose twattery has attracted the ire of his cow-orker Iain Dale.  Seems Nawaz has hied himself off to Tennessee for Chrimbly and frankly they deserve each other.

Edited for speling

Onoz!  Radio Free Gammon have decided not to renew his contract and now he’s pleading poverty in spite of him and the now-deceased Quilliam think-wank trousering well over $3 million from the Southern Poverty Law Center in mid-2018.  Pass the very tiniest violin, Jeeves.

[Mr Larrington]

Next in the firing line is alleged Attorney General and hamster impersonator Suella Bravermann, who has been sticking her oar in over the Colston statue verdict.  No, dear heart, no precedent has been set and no clarification — apart from confirming your status as a Super-Twat — is needed.  Teh SEEKRIT Barrister has your number:

It is difficult to think of an AG who has more enthusiastically abused their office.

Which is pretty good going, considering Bravermann's predecessor was Geoffrey “A smile, a song, an all-expenses trip to the West Indies” Cox.

[TimC]

Her soliloquy about who constitutes the ERG to (IIRC) Sky News was especially cringeworthy.

[Nuncio]

I think you probably mean the interview with Krishnan Guru-Murthy on C4 News back in 2020.
https://twitter.com/i/status/1479505871663157250

[TimC]

The very one!

[rogerzilla]

Next in the firing line is alleged Attorney General and hamster impersonator Suella Bravermann, who has been sticking her oar in over the Colston statue verdict.  No, dear heart, no precedent has been set and no clarification — apart from conforming your status as a Super-Twat — is needed.  Teh SEEKRIT Barrister has your number:

It is difficult to think of an AG who has more enthusiastically abused their office.

Which is pretty good going, considering Bravermann's predecessor was Geoffrey “A smile, a song, an all-expenses trip to the West Indies” Cox.

Is she the one that's even thicker than Raab and Patel?  There are so many dimwits in the government, I lose track.

[Polar Bear]

Next in the firing line is alleged Attorney General and hamster impersonator Suella Bravermann, who has been sticking her oar in over the Colston statue verdict.  No, dear heart, no precedent has been set and no clarification — apart from conforming your status as a Super-Twat — is needed.  Teh SEEKRIT Barrister has your number:

It is difficult to think of an AG who has more enthusiastically abused their office.

Which is pretty good going, considering Bravermann's predecessor was Geoffrey “A smile, a song, an all-expenses trip to the West Indies” Cox.

Is she the one that's even thicker than Raab and Patel?  There are so many dimwits in the government, I lose track.

There are plenty that appear to be even thicker than Raab and Patel.  I know that this sounds improbable but there must be at least 350 of them.

[Efrogwr]

Next in the firing line is alleged Attorney General and hamster impersonator Suella Bravermann, who has been sticking her oar in over the Colston statue verdict.  No, dear heart, no precedent has been set and no clarification — apart from conforming your status as a Super-Twat — is needed.  Teh SEEKRIT Barrister has your number:

It is difficult to think of an AG who has more enthusiastically abused their office.

Which is pretty good going, considering Bravermann's predecessor was Geoffrey “A smile, a song, an all-expenses trip to the West Indies” Cox.

Is she the one that's even thicker than Raab and Patel?  There are so many dimwits in the government, I lose track.

There are plenty that appear to be even thicker than Raab and Patel.  I know that this sounds improbable but there must be at least 350 of them.

Very few of them could find their own arses using both hands.

[ian]

It's worrisome that Raab passes for Tory intelligentsia. That said, even he can be outwitted by a slime mould.

[Mr Larrington]

They are akin to castle walls.  Thick and repellent.  And the best way to get rid of them is with high explosives.

Note to disgraced former International Development Secretary Piggi Patel's Arrest-o-Matic 6000s, the last sentence is what we squashy life-forms call “a joke”.

[Mr Larrington]

“What more could this man have done?” asks Anthony Kelly, the judge who decided to let Novaxx Djokovic out of chokey.  Weeeeeeell, your Judginess, he could have got vaccinated

[Mr Larrington]

Criminal micromind and friend to Colombian agribiz Tiny Tommeh Ten-Names is at it again.  You'd think he’d have learned by now that interfering with polis business is not something Plod takes lightly.

[Polar Bear]

Tomneh is that dangerous combination of a sack of shit with a barely registering IQ.

[drgannet]

There appear to be a lot of Tory MP's self-nominating in their attempted defence of their indefensible PM, following PMQs today.

[Polar Bear]

I thought that Fabricate, er Fabricunt, ah, Fabricant made a great pitch for super twat of the week status.

What were the good people of Lichfield thinking when they elected him I wonder?

[rafletcher]

What were the good people of Lichfield thinking when they elected him I wonder?

That no way were they voting Labour I expect.

[ian]

The first time I saw him, I honestly believed he was one of those parody Tory MPs doing skits on TikTok. Increasingly, I've realised that it's Conservative policy to make themselves essentially impossible to parody.

[Polar Bear]

I see that the likes of Dorries, Raab and Javid have reapplied for mention herein.

[TheLurker]

... I honestly believed he was one of those parody Tory MPs doing skits on TikTok.

The thought crosses my mind, given the woeful quality of some Tory* MPs, that the people who voted for them are vicious sadists.  The voters knew they were inadequates, they knew the candidates would show themselves to be fools and still they voted them in; simply to see the poor saps suffer in public.  That or they're all dyed-in-the wool revolutionary communists intent on bringing the system down from within by electing utter incompetents.  Either explanation seems perfectly rational to me, but I think I prefer the notion that the electorate are, at heart, sadists.


*There may be, almost certainly are, woeful MPs in other parties, but the Tory contingent do seem to take pride in advertising how pitifully inadequate they are.

[Polar Bear]

I see that the likes of Dorries, Raab and Javid have reapplied for mention herein.

... not forgetting Gove ...

[citoyen]

I thought that Fabricate, er Fabricunt, ah, Fabricant made a great pitch for super twat of the week status.

What were the good people of Lichfield thinking when they elected him I wonder?

My first encounter with Michael Fabricant was back in around 1994 when my girlfriend of the time was working for Mo Mowlam. We went and sat in the strangers' gallery for PMQs one day and Fabricant was one of those asking a question. I think his scriptwriter must have been having a laugh at his expense - I can't remember what his question was but I do remember it included the words "weafy wanes of Wichfield".

Apparently, laughing out loud in the gallery isn't acceptable behaviour.

[Mr Larrington]

Does he wank as high as any man in Wome too?