Author Topic: Sh!te courier thread  (Read 143272 times)

Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #675 on: 10 November, 2021, 09:43:21 am »
Oh dear, Hermes :sick:  are due to deliver a parcel today.

robgul

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Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #676 on: 10 November, 2021, 09:50:58 am »
Oh dear, Hermes :sick:  are due to deliver a parcel today.

Just be thankful that it's not Yodel  :hand:  - the absolute pits around these parts

CommuteTooFar

  • Inadequate Randonneur
Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #677 on: 24 November, 2021, 08:54:29 pm »
I am not really sure I should complain about this.  I have been getting messages that I had a parcel split to two ordered by me. Today is Wednesday and I was informed that one parcel arrives Friday and one arrives Saturday. Ok nothing expected yet.  Last night I was up late watching a series on youtube so I had a long lie in. Shortly afternoon I heard what might have been a door bell. I get up. Nothing posted through the door saying a parcel had been delivered. So I go about my day. Ten minutes ago I come home from my brothers house and check my e-mail. A parcel has been delivered in a secure location. Eventually I find my way to the Hermes tracking site with a picture of my next weekend parcels lying on the path beside my house. Oh I think, I did not lock the gate. My first reaction was to check the gate. It was bolted.  The courier had thrown my packages over the gate then held his phone camera above his head and taken the photograph I saw.  Fortunately nothing fragile and it was not a wet day. 

Mr Larrington

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Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #678 on: 29 November, 2021, 11:35:15 am »
Not sure whether this qualifies as shite, but if I pay extra for delivery on a specific day, viz. tomorrow then I do not expect my Stuffs to turn up twenty-four hours ahead of schedule.  Fortunately general tardiness and moral turpitude meant that I was at home rather than freezing utterly to DETH between Larrington Towers and Mr Sainsbury’s House of Toothy Comestibles.
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Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #679 on: 30 November, 2021, 06:16:46 pm »
Ah FedEx. I suppose I should be grateful that they’re not holding my Microwave from Germany to ransom (bought through Amazon. But tracking has, until 18:01, said delivery by 18:00 and “on time”. It still says “on time”, but delivery is no “by the end of the day”, the extent of which is cunningly undefined.

Aaaand - I still haven't got it. On it's supposed journey from  Dartford to Leafy Bucks, it somehow went via Bedford (well, Ridgemont actually, but I'd no idea where that was until I looked on the map), before travelling to the safe haven of Crayford, where it has languished for the past 30 hours. Delivery is "pending".

Meanwhile the RM managed to deliver my parcel to the original address. Except I redirected it to go to the local PO. And had that change acknowledged. Shower of shite.
We are making a New World (Paul Nash, 1918)

TheLurker

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Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #680 on: 14 December, 2021, 04:33:27 pm »
A long, long time ago I worked as a delivery driver / general dogsbody for Jenners and although things did get hectic and stressy in the run-up to Christmas it was nowhere near as bad as the situation described in the linked article.  The next time you're pissed off with a delivery driver, maybe have a read at this and be bloody glad it's not your job.  Feel free to knock seven bells out of the exploitative bastards, see the last two paragraphs, that run the companies though.

https://www.newstatesman.com/the-business-interview/2021/12/danger-dehydration-and-doorbells-what-its-like-for-the-people-delivering-your-christmas-shopping

Τα πιο όμορφα ταξίδια γίνονται με τις δικές μας δυνάμεις - Φίλοι του Ποδήλατου

Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #681 on: 14 December, 2021, 06:31:04 pm »
Does in get worse than this? Parcel put in recycling bin on collection-day.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/newsbeat-59650468

Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #682 on: 16 December, 2021, 01:55:51 pm »
DPD tried to deliver a parcel to me on Tuesday. I got an email saying they were sorry they had missed me, please reschedule. I was in all day and no slip pushed through letter box.
I did for Wednesday. Same thing happens but this time there is a picture attached to the email of my house, except it isn't my house its not even my street though it is the same (very small) village. There are only four streets and about 100 houses in total FFS.
I contacted DPD on their chat and they said to use their app and add a picture or our house and reschedule again so I did for today and added the garage as a safe place.
Got an email half an hour ago saying the parcel had been delivered and let in the "porch". We don't have a porch.
There was another attached picture which showed the parcel left on the doorstep of a house that wasn't ours and that also didn't have a porch!

Luckily this being a very small village as I said I recognised the doorstep it had been left at and went round and collected it.
I think you'll find it's a bit more complicated than that.

Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #683 on: 16 December, 2021, 02:35:46 pm »
Our local idiot Facebook community group has banned requests for contact details for local Hermes delivery driver and seems to be loads of anyone recognise this door step posts

Saying that I'm glad the deliveroo driver insisted he was at the correct house Tuesday as he had some goodies one of our friends had ordered for us while we waited for PCR results

Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #684 on: 16 December, 2021, 07:46:09 pm »
DPD and Hermes are rubbish (and that's on a good day). Royal Mail/Parcelforce and UPS are ok
(ime*).














*In my experience.






Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #685 on: 16 December, 2021, 08:10:47 pm »
What's wrong with DPD? never had any issues. Today a parcel from Kyrgyzstan, outdoor goodies delivered on time.

Giraffe

  • I brake for Giraffes
Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #686 on: 17 December, 2021, 09:23:31 am »
Had an unexpected outcome yesterday: put a not on the door "parcels in black box, please"
Immediately past the door, black box with "parcels in here, please"

Came home, looked in the box and found the two expected items. Just waiting for the Euro Millions win now.
2x4: thick plank; 4x4: 2 of 'em.

Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #687 on: 17 December, 2021, 02:29:02 pm »
Received txt saying "blah DHL have your parcel, blah click here". Not expecting parcel via DHL, I ignored it. Spam.

Email came through saying the same. Looks legit, address and header correct. Tracking link opens DHL site.

Parcel from A Novo Ltd

I haven't ordered from A Novo Ltd.

The only thing this could possibly be is headphones from Google (offer with pixel 6). That would suggest that Google are using a tiny man-anna-dog second hand electronics company in the midlands to handle warehouse and despatch.
<i>Marmite slave</i>

Beardy

  • Shedist
Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #688 on: 20 December, 2021, 01:57:59 pm »
Your driver is at stop 53 of 108
There are 11 stops between your driver and you.

Okaaaay. If you say so.
For every complex problem in the world, there is a simple and easily understood solution that’s wrong.

Kim

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Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #689 on: 20 December, 2021, 04:22:31 pm »
Ah, looks like they're using the same random number technology that nPower use for billing customers.

Jaded

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Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #690 on: 20 December, 2021, 05:05:18 pm »
Daughter had a package delivered to the house today. She was at work, so updated us with the "Stops away" number.

Knock on front door. (Ignoring the sign that says come to the side door)

I look out the window, to see the driver climbing back into a rusty white van and driving off. Sure enough the package is in full view on the steps that we don't use.
It is simpler than it looks.

Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #691 on: 20 December, 2021, 05:26:58 pm »
I get my stuff delivered to a locker or to work if possible, it makes it easier for the driver as well.

Beardy

  • Shedist
Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #692 on: 20 December, 2021, 06:35:39 pm »
I get my stuff delivered to a locker or to work if possible, it makes it easier for the driver as well.
I noticed that as an option for the first time today and as it was Dr Beardy (Mrs) Crimbo prezzie I decided it would be a good idea. None of the local ones were available due to them all being full!
For every complex problem in the world, there is a simple and easily understood solution that’s wrong.

Kim

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Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #693 on: 21 December, 2021, 01:33:38 pm »
GN: Just discovered that our recycling 'pod' has been replaced.

BN: By catching the postie hiding a parcel (which they'd previously failed to deliver on Saturday) in it.

I asked if he'd tried the doorbell.  He claimed to have "jabbed it three times".  I gave it a press and noted the expected flashing lights and dulcet tones of Rod Hull and his menagerie of drama students.  I may attack the bell push with some contact cleaner just to be on the safe side...

Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #694 on: 21 December, 2021, 01:40:45 pm »
For more satisfaction, first attack postie.  You know it makes sense.

Kim

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Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #695 on: 21 December, 2021, 02:34:55 pm »
Bell-push innards were a bit manky, as expected (it's unavoidably being powered with DC).  I've cleaned the contacts up a bit and replaced the BLUE LEDs with fresh, brighter BLUE LEDs, to make it a bit more obnoxious.  But sadly I suspect that you can't engineer around shite couriers.

robgul

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Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #696 on: 21 December, 2021, 04:53:26 pm »
Bell-push innards were a bit manky, as expected (it's unavoidably being powered with DC).  I've cleaned the contacts up a bit and replaced the BLUE LEDs with fresh, brighter BLUE LEDs, to make it a bit more obnoxious.  But sadly I suspect that you can't engineer around shite couriers.

Indeed - three deliveries today (no postman) . . .  one knocked on the door with his fist (the regular veg box man who normally delivers silently at about 0630 each Tuesday), one knocked using the knocker which has some festive greenery and ribbon (now damaged) hanging on it - the other one just dropped a parcel and scarpered.  We have a very obvious bell push, in perfect working order . . .  my wife doesn't want to put up the "Ring the fucking bell" sign that I've made.

Mr Larrington

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Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #697 on: 21 December, 2021, 06:19:45 pm »
Is it time for this again already?



Basil's doorbell woe by Mr Larrington, on Flickr
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

Tim Hall

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Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #698 on: 21 December, 2021, 10:20:18 pm »
It's real!
There are two ways you can get exercise out of a bicycle: you can
"overhaul" it, or you can ride it.  (Jerome K Jerome)

Vernon

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Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #699 on: 26 December, 2021, 09:43:07 am »
Bell-push innards were a bit manky, as expected (it's unavoidably being powered with DC).  I've cleaned the contacts up a bit and replaced the BLUE LEDs with fresh, brighter BLUE LEDs, to make it a bit more obnoxious.  But sadly I suspect that you can't engineer around shite couriers.

Couldn't you molish a portcullis that won't retract until the doorbell is pushed or something?