Sh!te courier thread

[Feanor]

I'm imagining a cnoke vibration sensor on the door, which would query the user as to whether an rnser was required.
Then, if an rnser were required, a Wallace and Grommit style brass articulated arm with a comedy white golved hand on the end of it would activate, and theatrically press the bell-push.

[Kim]

I'm imagining a cnoke vibration sensor on the door, which would query the user as to whether an rnser was required.
Then, if an rnser were required, a Wallace and Grommit style brass articulated arm with a comedy white golved hand on the end of it would activate, and theatrically press the bell-push.

That's a much better idea than the current arrangement, where the cnoke sensor just causes the bell push to flash angrily for a couple of seconds.

[Mr Larrington]

I'm imagining a cnoke vibration sensor on the door, which would query the user as to whether an rnser was required.
Then, if an rnser were required, a Wallace and Grommit style brass articulated arm with a comedy white golved hand on the end of it would activate, and theatrically press the bell-push.

That's a much better idea than the current arrangement, where the cnoke sensor just causes the bell push to flash angrily for a couple of seconds.

That's Kim's next project sorted.  Should keep her busy for a hour or two

[MattH]

DHL were supposed to make a next day delivery on Wednesday. They didn't make it to our place before returning to depot. Same happened yesterday, and today. Parcels on the van three times. They are tools for stuff I was supposed to be doing this weekend. Depot is 25 miles away, so it'll take me a couple of hours to go there and pick it up myself, plus cost of fuel, or wait for who knows how many days for them to finally get to me. I'm not in the back of beyond.

I've been in a queue for 20 minutes trying to get through to them.

[MattH]

So apparently the van broke down during the round on Wednesday. And Thursday. And Friday. Last night, after 30+ minutes on the phone I was told the would be delivered today, and the tracking did update to show that.
This morning the tracking was saying delivery on Monday. I called again, getting through quite quickly this time. Apparently they were going to load them on to the van but couldn't find either of them.

So I don't even have the option of doing the drive out there.

They are escalating in their complaints process and requesting a parcel search to see if they can get it out today. I'm not holding my breath.

[Mr Larrington]

Drop it
Hide it
Leg it

[CommuteTooFar]

Another not really bad. I realised I would not have enough Christmas beer to last me through the six nations so I ordered more from Beer Merchants. Beer Merchants usually take a while to pack their orders. Just now I got e-mail from DHL saying it will be delivered tomorrow. I had plans. I really should not complain of next day delivery but I will.

[TimC]

Hermes: have lost the replacement parcel from Wiggle after losing the original last week (as well as one from Amazon). Not that they will tell me that's what's happened; they simply stop giving delivery advice. And they make it even more difficult than average (ie impossible) to contact them for an explanation. It must be done via the merchant. Wiggle are starting to get fed up with me!

[cygnet]

It's their courier choice presumably?

Feel no guilt about harassing them.

[TimC]

Yes, I assume it is their choice. No, no guilt! And, to be fair, Wiggle have been very helpful. It's Hermes who need public flogging.

[rafletcher]

Hermes at our home address are fine, but on the two occasions I've had stuff delivered to work and they have been the buyers chosen courier, the parcels have been left in our "reception". Thats the un-personned entrance area open to all and sundry, up the steps next to which there is a large "Goods in around the back" sign  .

[TimC]

Hermes: have lost the replacement parcel from Wiggle after losing the original last week (as well as one from Amazon). Not that they will tell me that's what's happened; they simply stop giving delivery advice. And they make it even more difficult than average (ie impossible) to contact them for an explanation. It must be done via the merchant. Wiggle are starting to get fed up with me!

Well, all is now well! The 'lost' items from 2 weeks ago have just been delivered. Turns out the driver who covers this area is off sick, but Hermes' systems are unable to communicate that to either the customer or the consignor (wtf?). The young lad who turned up with it believes that they have the replacement order too, and will look it up tomorrow. Amazon have written it off and said don't bother returning their replacement. I doubt Wiggle will say the same, but on the other hand I don't actually have two shipments from them in my hand yet. But I do have what I wanted!

[Mr Larrington]

Consignor (n.): Someone pretending to be a bishop for tax purposes.

[JellyLegs]

Looks like my set of expensive winter boots I needed to return due to them being slightly too tight have gone astray with Hermes.  Their tracking website shows it going round and round between two (possibly the same) depot(s) for the last 10 days and then notes a delay of unknown cause.  Their chat bot helpfully regurgitates the latest update on the tracking page from which I access the bot and has no more functionality than that. I am not looking forward to dealing with their helpline on Monday, but at least I insured the package for its true value so I shouldn’t lose out financially.

[woollypigs]

Lad from Amazon delivered parcel to #3 to us and our parcel to #3. So there was a parcel swap done late at night in the rain

[JellyLegs]

Looks like my set of expensive winter boots I needed to return due to them being slightly too tight have gone astray with Hermes.  Their tracking website shows it going round and round between two (possibly the same) depot(s) for the last 10 days and then notes a delay of unknown cause.  Their chat bot helpfully regurgitates the latest update on the tracking page from which I access the bot and has no more functionality than that. I am not looking forward to dealing with their helpline on Monday, but at least I insured the package for its true value so I shouldn’t lose out financially.

Hmm. After several circuits of the Hermes automated phone system and a couple of sonatas worth of hold music, I got to speak to a helpful guy who thinks the parcel will be delivered today.  He admitted he couldn’t work out why the delay but it was now at the correct delivery depot in Nottingham, having had a weekend break in Tyneside, and it was awaiting it’s allotted van.  Fingers crossed it arrived in one piece and no damage.  I should know by tomorrow.

[rogerzilla]

Royal Mail Special Delivery failed to get a parcel posted on Friday to its destination today.  I had to refund the buyer and will be claiming the cost back from RM.

A Hermes parcel posted on Saturday morning on the cheapest 3-day service did arrive today.

[JellyLegs]

Looks like my set of expensive winter boots I needed to return due to them being slightly too tight have gone astray with Hermes.  Their tracking website shows it going round and round between two (possibly the same) depot(s) for the last 10 days and then notes a delay of unknown cause.  Their chat bot helpfully regurgitates the latest update on the tracking page from which I access the bot and has no more functionality than that. I am not looking forward to dealing with their helpline on Monday, but at least I insured the package for its true value so I shouldn’t lose out financially.

Hmm. After several circuits of the Hermes automated phone system and a couple of sonatas worth of hold music, I got to speak to a helpful guy who thinks the parcel will be delivered today.  He admitted he couldn’t work out why the delay but it was now at the correct delivery depot in Nottingham, having had a weekend break in Tyneside, and it was awaiting it’s allotted van.  Fingers crossed it arrived in one piece and no damage.  I should know by tomorrow.

Parcel finally delivered, taking 13 days to cover 146 miles. 

[Wombat]

Pray for me today, please....

Deliveries due today:
Beer from Monty's brewery, via APC, who usually deliver it to next door, who are teetotal, and look askance at the beer delivery.  Under delivery notes, I entered "please deliver to the correct house this time"
LED lamps from some firm, via DHL.
Replacement light fitting from Ikea, to replace the broken one that DPD delivered to next door, allegedly by a different DPD driver.  Due any minute now.
My repaired camera that has a £2900 replacement cost, from Sony service centre, via the postie.  Our usual postie is a miserable sod, but reliable. 

We live on a very rural single track lane, there are 3 houses in the postcode.  One is half a mile away, one is next door, but 50 metres away, and us.  Only one house has a big black and white sign with the house name, out on the road.  It is ours.

Next door get a lot of deliveries, often for the daughter's business, so dad never looks at them or wonders, just accepts them.  The broken DPD one, they even emailed him to say they'd delivered it, not me!

What are the chances of them all being delivered, intact, to me?

[Mr Larrington]

What are the chances of them all being delivered, intact, to me?

[Wombat]

Well, I've got a light fitting, and beer, so if the camera is smashed or doesn't turn up, I can drown my sorrows.

[rogerzilla]

Well, I've got a light fitting, and beer, so if the camera is smashed or doesn't turn up, I can drown my sorrows.

AND see to pour properly.  It's all looking up.

[rogerzilla]

The compo for Special Delivery being a day late is merely the difference between 1st class and SD.  They don't even give a full refund.  Given the hassle it creates for the sender trying to explain to the recipient why they don't have their "guaranteed" parcel, that's extremely poor.

They could just say "we'll try to get it there next day, or we'll refund the price premium", as that's all they're on the hook for under contract law anyway.

[Wombat]

Well, I've got a light fitting, and beer, so if the camera is smashed or doesn't turn up, I can drown my sorrows.

AND see to pour properly.  It's all looking up.

or not.  Unpacked the replacement IKEA light fitting, and that one is smashed too (their packaging is hopeless considering they charge £15 delivery)...  now trying to get hold of IKEA, and they are effectively uncontactable.  Their online chat doesn't work as its done by bots, as is their Twitter response.  I signed up to an account, just so I could track and return orders, but that doesn't work either.  Some of their website says "email us" but you can't, they have closed their email service.  I even phoned up, but couldn't hear the chap muttering on the other end. 

Got the camera, and its fine.  huge sigh of relief there...  Many thanks to Sony Central service.

Now to try to recycle another smashed glass light fitting.

[MattH]

Tried to send a package by courier today for work, then decided to hand deliver instead as it's only about 30 miles away. Just a normal sized Peli case, about £20 for postage, £300 for insurance (it is worth rather a lot). Doesn't say much about the trust the companies have in their couriers not to nick stuff!