Author Topic: On using a bidet (Read 3512 times)

Wowbagger · « **on:** 26 February, 2015, 01:15:13 pm »

Today, for the first time in my 60.66 years on this planet, I have used a bidet. I reckon it needs a bit of practice to get it right.

T42 · « **Reply #1 on:** 26 February, 2015, 01:20:40 pm »

Could never work out when to put the coffee in.

geraldc · « **Reply #2 on:** 26 February, 2015, 01:23:41 pm »

I never know which way to face

Jaded · « **Reply #3 on:** 26 February, 2015, 01:32:39 pm »

A patio cleaner might be more use.

IanDG · « **Reply #4 on:** 26 February, 2015, 01:37:24 pm »

Put the plug in, turn on the tap, fill the bowl to 2/3. stand facing. lift right leg and put right foot in water, wash and remove, repeat with left foot.

What else do you use a bidet for

Kim · « **Reply #5 on:** 26 February, 2015, 01:47:26 pm »

Self-watering plant pot.

Woofage · « **Reply #6 on:** 26 February, 2015, 01:51:50 pm »

Quote from: Kim on 26 February, 2015, 01:47:26 pm

Self-watering plant pot.

Controlled via the INTERWEBS using cobbled-together computer parts you mean?

Ningishzidda · « **Reply #7 on:** 26 February, 2015, 01:55:57 pm »

Another song adaption approaching.

“Last night a bidet saved my life.
Last night a bidet save my life from a dirty a**s.”

Wowbagger · « **Reply #8 on:** 26 February, 2015, 01:58:25 pm »

Quote from: Jaded on 26 February, 2015, 01:32:39 pm

A patio cleaner might be more use.

Not if you haven't got a patio.

Jaded · « **Reply #9 on:** 26 February, 2015, 02:48:54 pm »

Just sit in it. As long as your pebbles don't come loose.

T42 · « **Reply #10 on:** 26 February, 2015, 03:04:55 pm »

Don't try it side-saddle, though.

Wowbagger · « **Reply #11 on:** 26 February, 2015, 03:40:26 pm »

Do you think that the queen sits side-saddle on a bidet?

T42 · « **Reply #12 on:** 26 February, 2015, 03:43:04 pm »

Probably has people to etc etc

numbnuts · « **Reply #13 on:** 26 February, 2015, 03:43:13 pm »

Does the Queen wipe her own bottom ??

Wowbagger · « **Reply #14 on:** 26 February, 2015, 04:09:21 pm »

She's never wiped mine.

IanDG · « **Reply #15 on:** 26 February, 2015, 04:15:37 pm »

Maybe she uses a corgi.

geraldc · « **Reply #16 on:** 26 February, 2015, 04:34:57 pm »

She should re hire a groom of the stool

Wowbagger · « **Reply #17 on:** 26 February, 2015, 05:43:37 pm »

I had another go a few minutes ago. Definitely an improvement to my technique! I'm not that keen on the drying facility though - it takes too long. I dried my rear end with bog paper.

T42 · « **Reply #18 on:** 26 February, 2015, 05:53:36 pm »

Drying facility? You have a Japanese bidet?

loadsabikes · « **Reply #19 on:** 26 February, 2015, 06:56:09 pm »

No, there's a draft under the door.

Wowbagger · « **Reply #20 on:** 26 February, 2015, 07:09:27 pm »

Not only does it have a drier, it has a remote control! I haven't yet removed that, waiting for the opportunity to demonstrate to Mrs. Wow that, even after all these years, I still have the capacity to surprise her.

mark · « **Reply #21 on:** 26 February, 2015, 07:23:18 pm »

Does anyone besides me remember a movie called "Downhill Racer"? I can't seem to find the scene I'm thinking of on YouTube.

Canardly · « **Reply #22 on:** 26 February, 2015, 08:24:09 pm »

Thats what hairdryers are for?

jsabine · « **Reply #23 on:** 26 February, 2015, 09:00:01 pm »

Quote from: T42 on 26 February, 2015, 05:53:36 pm

Drying facility? You have a Japanese bidet?

He hasn't trained the corgi yet.

Wowbagger · « **Reply #24 on:** 26 February, 2015, 09:16:43 pm »

Quote from: geraldc on 26 February, 2015, 01:23:41 pm

I never know which way to face

There is a button to press for "feminine mode". I haven't tried that yet.

Nor the "turbo" mode.