The "whats wrong with me" thread

[Zoidburg]

I have been getting random pain in strange places in my upper body, I keep getting the night sweats and I have been getting strange lumps under my chin along the jaw line, not spots, just little pea shaped lumps

Answers on post card to...

[delthebike]

Bubonic plague or razor burn, nothing to worry about. 

[Tiger]

Have you travelled at all in the last year?
Sounds very like the bite of an egg laying insect to me. Classic symptoms - the sweats and flu-like feeling - followed up by the small egg gestation  peasized lumps.  The larvae  hatch while you are asleep, wriggling out through a small opening in the pores.
Try squeezing one of them out - or better excise it with a sterile blade. Take it to the GP for identification.

[Zoidburg]

I think we can rule out the school of tropical medicine thanks

[Hot Flatus]

Lycanthroposis

[jellied]

lymes disease?

[hellymedic]

Don't bother with silly internet doctors and would-be doctors.

See a sensible doctor in person; if your GP is not sensible, find someone who is.

Get well soon.
Decapitation is not a cure...

[delthebike]

Decapitation is not a cure...

But it's a hell of a way to lose weight!

[hellymedic]

Decapitation is not a cure...

But it's a hell of a way to lose weight!

It does end all known symptoms...

[Tiger]

Don't bother with silly internet doctors and would-be doctors.

See a sensible doctor in person; if your GP is not sensible, find someone who is.

Get well soon.
Decapitation is not a cure...

Sound advice Helly. But you should not joke about decapitation.

You should only listen to medical advice you can trust. Fortunately I am a doctor so you can trust me. 

Your situation is potentially serious.

You have been bitten by a parasitic egg laying insect.  Possibly a sand-borne 'Chigger' which typically bites the sole of the foot passing the eggs into the bloodstream from where pass to the lymph glands - hence the lumps on your face.  If left to themselves these will fester and you may be left with permanent scarring. Or indeed they may burst with unpleasant consequences, spraying eggs onto others.

There are non-surgical treatments - insecticidal topical creams or suppositories - but these van leave you with dead insect larvea under your skin which is unnatractive.
 

[Regulator]

If left to themselves these will fester and you may be left with permanent scarring. Or indeed they may burst with unpleasant consequences, spraying eggs onto others.

There are non-surgical treatments - insecticidal topical creams or suppositories - but these van leave you with dead insect larvea under your skin which is unnatractive.
 

 
From what I've heard about Zoiders, permanent scarring will be a chick magnet!   Everyone loves a man with a duelling scar.... 

[GruB]

Have you been wearing black socks while cycling lately?

[alan]

Tis Potteries Pox cured only by alternate weekend visits to Vale Park & Britannia Stadium

[Chris S]

ZB - if you were really after some objective input, I bet you're really regretting posting on yACF now, aren't you?

Note that you did get a real answer from Auntie Helly 

[hellymedic]

ZB - if you were really after some objective input, I bet you're really regretting posting on yACF now, aren't you?

Note that you did get a real answer from Auntie Helly 

... which just said 'Ignore the other answers...' 

[Chris S]

ZB - if you were really after some objective input, I bet you're really regretting posting on yACF now, aren't you?

Note that you did get a real answer from Auntie Helly 

... which just said 'Ignore the other answers...' 

 

[border-rider]

With one sweep of his hand,  he tugs hard at his jawline, breaks the velcro seal and pulls off the Zoidburg rubber mask to reveal his true identity !

They are amazed to find out that the person they'd though of as "Zoidburg"  all this time was really... <to be continued>

[rogerzilla]

I understand there is still a leper hospital at Dunwich.  Maybe you could stay there after next year's ride, Zoiders?

[Fi]

... which just said 'Ignore the other answers...' 

Which, speaking as a layman, seems to be the best advice he's going to get here. 

[tonycollinet]

I love this place. 

[border-rider]

OK, maybe we should be serious then 

ZB, it's most likely a low-level infection or some sort. The bumps will probably be enlarged lymph glands reacting as part of your immune response.  Nothing serious, hence the levity on this thread.  There's a one in 10 thousand zillion chance it could be more significant than that, but it won't be.

Go to the doctor and get a proper diagnosis, but try to go tomorrow.

[rogerzilla]

'Flu-like illnesses can do that.  A couple of times I've had something like the 'flu but with no cold symptoms - just the weakness, loss of appetite, raised glands and alternate shivers/sweats.

If you go on the bike and have a HRM, wear it and make sure it doesn't go to stupid bpm on hills.  These infections can muck about with your MHR and allow you to push yourself beyond your normal physical limits, which can cause you to black out.  It happened to me in January - two days later (after being checked out) I was back on the bike and my heart rate was touching 186 up a pretty modest incline.

[numbnuts]

it's a lymph node I had one it went away after a few days, but I would still go and see a doctor.....like I did didn't

[Zoidburg]

Don't bother with silly internet doctors and would-be doctors.

See a sensible doctor in person; if your GP is not sensible, find someone who is.

Get well soon.
Decapitation is not a cure...

Sound advice Helly. But you should not joke about decapitation.

You should only listen to medical advice you can trust. Fortunately I am a doctor so you can trust me. 

Your situation is potentially serious.

You have been bitten by a parasitic egg laying insect.  Possibly a sand-borne 'Chigger' which typically bites the sole of the foot passing the eggs into the bloodstream from where pass to the lymph glands - hence the lumps on your face.  If left to themselves these will fester and you may be left with permanent scarring. Or indeed they may burst with unpleasant consequences, spraying eggs onto others.

There are non-surgical treatments - insecticidal topical creams or suppositories - but these van leave you with dead insect larvea under your skin which is unnatractive.
 

I have been to the states ten years ago and chiggers were a problem for a lot of the guys who went as we were running around out in the sticks in the long grass

I know what the bites are like and I know I havent been bitten by chiggers on this occasion

They dont seem to like my taste anyway as I didnt find them to be a problem my self

[gordon taylor]

Are you better?
Have you  been to the doctor?
We need to know!