The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread

[Beardy]

Although Bond James Bond is a cool dude, Mr Larrington, he does not need to be stored in the fridge

At least he was still shrink-wrapped when I discovered this faux pas.

considers.

<fx:does deep thinking>
Wonders about googling.
Nope.
The mind boggles most mightily.

[hatler]

DVD I presumed.

[Mr Larrington]

Blu-ray, double-oh-three-and-a-half*, Blu-ray.

* licence to maim

[spesh]

If the James Bond DVD ended up in the fridge, it begs the question as to what Mr. L tried loading into the DVD player.

[PaulF]

If the James Bond DVD ended up in the fridge, it begs the question as to what Mr. L tried loading into the DVD player.

My money is on mini pizza or poppadums

[Kim]

Slice of ham would be traditional, but it only works on those notoriously fussy Denon pro CD players from the 1990s

[Feanor]

Slice of jammy toast is traditional, is it not?

[Jurek]

M'Julie from Whitstable is the only person I know that has managed to get two VHS tapes into a machine that was only ever designed to accommodate one.

[Kim]

That's the VCR.  ETA: Crosspost with Jurek

The 'ham radio' incident occurred when a DJ of my acquaintance got pissed off with one of the studio CD players failing to read discs and instead fed it the contents of his sandwich.  For a few glorious seconds, the machine seemed to be making a decent go of reading the TOC, which was better than it had managed with the CDs it was offered.

[eckagain]

A previous (thankfully) Mrs eck once asked me to show her how to rewind a DVD. 

[Beardy]

Blu-ray, double-oh-three-and-a-half*, Blu-ray.

* licence to maim

A. It slow today obv. Though I did lead myself into a blind cul-de-sac when I started down the path of 2D Klous and 2D Mr L 

[grams]

Despite using the cooker for the last 8 years I still get the controls the wrong way round.

On normal gas hobs the two middle knobs are always for the burners furthest from the controls, otherwise the pipes would have to either cross or go the long way round the near burners. So if you can imagine the pipes fanning out from the knobs you don’t need to look at the symbols.

(I say always, I’m sure someone’s made such a cursed contrivance)

[nicknack]

Despite using the cooker for the last 8 years I still get the controls the wrong way round.

On normal gas hobs the two middle knobs are always for the burners furthest from the controls, otherwise the pipes would have to either cross or go the long way round the near burners. So if you can imagine the pipes fanning out from the knobs you don’t need to look at the symbols.

(I say always, I’m sure someone’s made such a cursed contrivance)

I never thought of it like that. It may possibly help. Ta.

[Kim]

That upper right image with the invisible red dots reminded me that barakta finds the usual dots-as-a-map-of-the-hob graphics completely unhelpful.  To the point where I've added labels to ours to the effect of "front right (big)" etc. so she doesn't keep getting the wrong one.

[graculus]

M'Julie from Whitstable is the only person I know that has managed to get two VHS tapes into a machine that was only ever designed to accommodate one.

Our 5 year old son managed it. We had left him and younger brother in the front room of a friends' house while we sat in the kitchen chatting. We should have become suspicious when it all went quiet. Friend was fortunately able to remedy the situation, but it took about half an hour of dismantling and re-assembly.
'But I wanted to see what happened' was my son's excuse.

[ElyDave]

I once had a hire car that refused to swallow my CD, until I pushed it in there.  Apparently it already had 6 other CDs in the single player slot.  Yes I got mine back.

[spesh]

A previous (thankfully) Mrs eck once asked me to show her how to rewind a DVD. 

There was a time when a "DVD rewinder" was actually a thing. 

https://the-useless-wiki.fandom.com/wiki/DVD_rewinder

[Mrs Pingu]

That upper right image with the invisible red dots reminded me that barakta finds the usual dots-as-a-map-of-the-hob graphics completely unhelpful.  To the point where I've added labels to ours to the effect of "front right (big)" etc. so she doesn't keep getting the wrong one.

I'm glad it's not just me that keeps cocking it up.

[ian]

That upper right image with the invisible red dots reminded me that barakta finds the usual dots-as-a-map-of-the-hob graphics completely unhelpful.  To the point where I've added labels to ours to the effect of "front right (big)" etc. so she doesn't keep getting the wrong one.

I'm glad it's not just me that keeps cocking it up.

It's underpinned by the same eldritch physics as USB orientation, you always get it the wrong way around.

[FifeingEejit]

It's not turning the right burner on that I have a problem with, it's turning the right one off, up or down.

Occasionally resulting in bafflement as to why the chicken is charred and the rice dry.

At least with Halligen and gas there's a chance of knowing I've fucked up through visual checks.

Hm... Better go and check as I made pancakes a few mins ago.

Sent from my BKL-L09 using Tapatalk

[rafletcher]

M'Julie from Whitstable is the only person I know that has managed to get two VHS tapes into a machine that was only ever designed to accommodate one.

Our 5 year old son managed it. We had left him and younger brother in the front room of a friends' house while we sat in the kitchen chatting. We should have become suspicious when it all went quiet. Friend was fortunately able to remedy the situation, but it took about half an hour of dismantling and re-assembly.
'But I wanted to see what happened' was my son's excuse.

My similarly aged daughter got creative, and after the tape, in went the remote….

[Basil]

Sons managed to post a jam sandwich into ours.  There was also the cheese sandwich in the aquarium incident.

[Kim]

We had an armchair in aquarium incident, but that was due to my brother being a stompy 15 year old with a poor sense of inertia.  You know that bit in The Martian where he's desperately applying duct tape to his space helmet to stop the leak?  It was the aquatic version of that.  The fish were saved, but not the carpet.

[mrcharly-YHT]

Staying in the  house in York, in the guest bedroom.
Room has been neatly set up fresh bedding, a bedside table bedside lamp. Lovely. Middle of the night rotten with cold. Cold. I roll over and reach my phone smack heading to the corner of the bedside table. Cue much swearing, waking up MRSC, who is asking what has happened whilst I clutch my forehead . Remove hand from forehead. Hand is covered in blood. Yes I hit my head hard enough on the wooden cabinet to split it open

[Mr Larrington]

You know how, like, you do a weekly shop, yeah, and you bung your bags on the kitchen table but then nip back out again to move your motor-car because it's, like, parked on a double-yellow and then you come back in, yeah, and like totally forget to put your nosh in the fridge until dinner-time the next day?

Yes, exactly like that…

Bonus points for leaving the bag of chilled Stuffs on the end of the table that's about six inches from the radiator