The Grumble Thread - No energy for a full on rant.

[clarion]

Ah yes, I was going to mention that.

[nikki]

We used to do a SCIENCE demonstration in assemblies across the West Midlands that involved igniting a water cooler tank full of the vapour of something alcoholic¹.

It wasn't deemed a success unless at least 3 shuttlecocks and a miniature football issued forth from the rafters!   


_{1 Something like that, I seem to be a bit hazy about the details...}

[Cudzoziemiec]

I rarely eat crisps, but today I bought a large bag of poshly flavoured crisps from that well known chain of elderly socialist electricians, cos I was hungry and stuck in an isolation cell of commerce. Not only did they not taste good but my stomach really doesn't feel well now. 

[Vince]

I rarely eat crisps, but today I bought a large bag of poshly flavoured crisps from that well known chain of elderly socialist electricians, cos I was hungry and stuck in an isolation cell of commerce. Not only did they not taste good but my stomach really doesn't feel well now. 

I recommend getting crisps from a crisp manufacturer.

[essexian]

Neighbour..... you only mowed your back lawn on Monday so why on earth do you need to do it again today??? I did mine last weekend and it has hardly grown since.

Now have a headache.   

[clarion]

Send 'em round to ours.  That wasn't mowed on Monday.  In fact, not since early last year...

[Basil]

Oh poo.  Looks like I'll have to do mine as well.

[CAMRAMan]

I did mine on Tuesday 

Only I didn't strim the fiddly bits and I'll have to do that over the weekend. I don't mind the task, so much, it's getting the darned cables all the way out and back that's the pain.

[Basil]

Never mind the bloody grass.  Mrs. B has just phoned to say that she hasn't been paid.  Her and 7000 others.
Bloody Hell!  That must be the whole Trust.
First payroll of the fiscal year computer fail?
Muppets.

[clarion]

New system for paying General Practice failed this week on its first attempt.  With a lot of practices struggling to remain solvent, that's a disaster.  Fortunately, a late payment was achieved.

[Basil]

Good job see told me while I was still in Llandysul on my breakfast ride.
*wanders off grumpily to atm*

[Mr Larrington]

If my mousy pointer does not stop making a beeline for the top right corner of the screen when I'm trying to do pointy-clicky things, then a certain Babbage-rodent is going to have an accident shaped like a hammer.

[Vince]

I had that problem last month. I had to disable the "pointstick" AKA the nipple with the pointer, not so easy with mouse pointer that had a mind of its own.

[Guy]

There's something liquidly odd going on in my guts. Someone has spent the night stamping on my right knee. They've also poured fine grit in my eyes and concrete in my sinuses. It must be Monday

[Basil]

Bugger!  Work tomorrow. 
Hope I can remember where it is.

[L CC]

My trousers don't fit. None of them. The size#lardy ones are faaaaar too big round the waist (like, falling embarrassingly down while walking, too big) and the size#slightlylesslardy are too tight around my Hoy-thighs. The size#normal ones are still too small.
In contrast, my boobs are lolling around a little bit lost in all my bras. Except the ones they sprout out of giving me that super-attractive 4-boob look. Or the mono-boob sports bras.

Anyone got a burqa? Size#slightlylesslardy?

[mrcharly-YHT]

Braces

[GothonaBrompton]

My trousers don't fit. None of them. The size#lardy ones are faaaaar too big round the waist (like, falling embarrassingly down while walking, too big) and the size#slightlylesslardy are too tight around my Hoy-thighs. The size#normal ones are still too small.
In contrast, my boobs are lolling around a little bit lost in all my bras. Except the ones they sprout out of giving me that super-attractive 4-boob look. Or the mono-boob sports bras.

Anyone got a burqa? Size#slightlylesslardy?

M&S Modern Slim fit trousers (still just about fit me in the thighs, slim on the hips, cut more like a mans trouser, very straight cut).

Although I weigh more than I did a couple of years ago, my bum seems to be shrinking.  I bought some Levi jeans about 2 months ago as they actually fitted quite nicely (i.e. over my thighs) and when I went to put them on yesterday, they were hoooooge and all baggy.  Previous jeans have always got tighter when washed so not sure how that has happened.

One day I will find jeans that actually fit me.  Until then I am holding on to an ancient pair from Old Navy that I bought when I worked for a US airline and bought that kind of thing over there.  And living in black M&S treggings or jersey trousers.

[Basil]

What on earth is this new trend of not knowing how to queue at a bar all about?  I’ve become aware of two rather annoying trends beginning to set in at my local.
It’s a reasonably large bar, usually staffed by two people (but more on busy weekend nights).  The normal method (surely?) is:  Walk to the bar, noting people who are already there before you, order when it is your turn.
However on approaching the bar recently I find either:

A)   Cloud queuing.  Only the people actually being served are anywhere near the bar.  Everyone else is hanging back keeping a respectful distance from those in front and from each other.  This cloud is so dissipated it is difficult to tell if some people are queuing or not.  Where am I supposed to stand?  Somewhere over the other side of the pub?  The bar staff generally have to plead for people to come forward next to be served and have no idea who is next.


B)   ATM queuing.  This is even worse.  No one can walk past this bloody great line of people who should be a small cluster at the bar and out of the way of normal pub traffic.  I loose patience and look to see who is at the back of the queue and then wander up to take a place at the bar.  The staff (bless them) might try to give me “regular’s precedence” but I don’t push in.  I let them know when it’s my turn.  (although my pint will have magically been started and is settling ready for the final top up)

Grumpy?  Moi?

[CAMRAMan]

I wish my latest knee-strengthening exercises didn't make me look like I'm taking an impromptu dump...

[Vince]

Herring bricked roads
The Netherlands has hundreds of thousands of miles of the damn things and every one of them sets up resonant vibrations in the bike that develop into a force that saps energy from moving you forward.

[Oaky]

Herring bricked roads
The Netherlands has hundreds of thousands of miles of the damn things and every one of them sets up resonant vibrations in the bike that develop into a force that saps energy from moving you forward.

The ones I hated most are the paths paved with square block setts where the sand underneath has moved to the extent that every one you ride over rocks as you go over it, sapping your speed/energy; making an alarming tinkling noise and leading you to wonder when you're going to ride over one that rocks so much that the next block will act like a kerb and flip you over the bars.

I seem to remember lots of stretches of that along this cycle lane: http://goo.gl/maps/74QIS

[Zipperhead]

Herring bricked roads
The Netherlands has hundreds of thousands of miles of the damn things and every one of them sets up resonant vibrations in the bike that develop into a force that saps energy from moving you forward.

But I've heard that if grannies on their bikes hit just the right speed it puts a smile on their face.

[Andrij]

Herring bricks?   Dread to think what they smell like on a warm summer day.


Coat, please! 

[Mrs Pingu]

Why do I feel so utterly miserable all of a sudden? I feel like someone unplugged the sump of my happeh  reservoir and it's gone empty in the last hour.