The Grumble Thread - No energy for a full on rant.

[andrewc]

French mosquitoes & other flying bitey things, FOAD!

I've got bites on my arse! 

[Mr Larrington]

They like FOREIGN food, yer bitey things.  I used to get bitten by German insects while BRITISH were far more likely to snack on Miss von Brandenburg.  Some twenty summers back we were in the Nether Lands on a campsite well below sea level and with water on three sides.  Four of the local mossies could pull a carriage and the spiders were the size of light aircraft.

Every mossie within a day's buzz of Lelystad et my grate frend gNick.  His back looked like a side of beef

Anyone know what they're like in British Columbia in September?

[CAMRAMan]

Our cat is happy having lots of flies to chase. I saw the bin-men on Monday, but it appears they just looked in the bin with the dead fox in it, rather than actually emptying it.

I don't blame them...

[Deano]

They like FOREIGN food, yer bitey things.  I used to get bitten by German insects while BRITISH were far more likely to snack on Miss von Brandenburg.  Some twenty summers back we were in the Nether Lands on a campsite well below sea level and with water on three sides.  Four of the local mossies could pull a carriage and the spiders were the size of light aircraft.

Every mossie within a day's buzz of Lelystad et my grate frend gNick.  His back looked like a side of beef

Anyone know what they're like in British Columbia in September?

Never mind the mossies, it's the black flies you want to watch out for...

[Mr Larrington]

They like FOREIGN food, yer bitey things.  I used to get bitten by German insects while BRITISH were far more likely to snack on Miss von Brandenburg.  Some twenty summers back we were in the Nether Lands on a campsite well below sea level and with water on three sides.  Four of the local mossies could pull a carriage and the spiders were the size of light aircraft.

Every mossie within a day's buzz of Lelystad et my grate frend gNick.  His back looked like a side of beef

Anyone know what they're like in British Columbia in September?

Never mind the mossies, it's the black flies you want to watch out for...

Arse.  I was very much afraid that someone would say something like that.  I'd rather be hassled by BEARs, or møøse.

[HTFB]

Our cat is happy having lots of flies to chase. I saw the bin-men on Monday, but it appears they just looked in the bin with the dead fox in it, rather than actually emptying it.

I don't blame them...

Back then it was still fairly fresh, and it's in a tightly-knotted garden sack. The forensic science exhibition at the Wellcome museum explains with repulsive video and a pig's head exactly how this is not sufficient to keep flies out.

[Salvatore]

They like FOREIGN food, yer bitey things.  I used to get bitten by German insects while BRITISH were far more likely to snack on Miss von Brandenburg.  Some twenty summers back we were in the Nether Lands on a campsite well below sea level and with water on three sides.  Four of the local mossies could pull a carriage and the spiders were the size of light aircraft.

Every mossie within a day's buzz of Lelystad et my grate frend gNick.  His back looked like a side of beef

Anyone know what they're like in British Columbia in September?

Never mind the mossies, it's the black flies you want to watch out for...

If they are the cousins of the black flies at similar forested latitudes in Finland and Russia, then they are very nasty. I couldn't outride them, they'd keep buzzing round me, but at least the Finnish ones waited until I stopped before biting me. The Russian ones just bit me as I rode along, with a special liking for the backs of my hands, biting through my gloves. According to the Tourist Information woman at Övertornea, they also go for reindeers' eyes, thereby blinding them.

Canadian black flies may be completely different of course.

[Mr Larrington]

The Internets suggest that I'm not going to be even as far north as Edinburgh...

[Wowbagger]

Most of the large Canadian cities are't as far north as London. British black flies (not to be confuse with blackfry, which are to be found on broad beans) also have a very nasty bite which I think is considerably worse than a mozzie. Fortunately they are feeble fliers and can seldom make it above waist height. Stour trousers tend to keep them out. See also Blandford fly.

[Bledlow]

Yep. Only two (Edmonton & Calgary) of the ten biggest are as far north as London.

[offcumden]

Zips. Now there's something to grumble about.  I have a collection of perfectly good jerseys with buggered zips, and having them replaced costs as much as a new one.

This:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Draper-41923-400mm-Silicone-Lubricant/dp/B000TOFOSU/ref=pd_sxp_grid_i_0_0

For zip fixing magic. Best used before you rip the thing to shreds out of frustration.

Just seen this.  Does it work on bike chains?

[ian]

Most of the large Canadian cities are't as far north as London. British black flies (not to be confuse with blackfry, which are to be found on broad beans) also have a very nasty bite which I think is considerably worse than a mozzie. Fortunately they are feeble fliers and can seldom make it above waist height. Stour trousers tend to keep them out. See also Blandford fly.

Indeed, you have to get further north, but if you do, they're the same bitey buggers. See also Greenland and Alaska.

Blandford flies are my nemesis. Despite not being anywhere near Blandford, our garden in SE London had them. I still have a couple of nasty scars. One bite swelled up like a egg and started to pulsate. A reaction my doctor classed, with considerable sang froid, as 'rather spectacular' before prescribing a far and extension selection of the British pharmacopoeia and backing slowly away. No bites in Surrey yet, probably the bears scare them off.

[Mr Larrington]

Wil whatever it is that has been making me feel all sick and wobbly today plz to be fucking right off?

[Kim]

Green stuff: Stop copulating.  Lungs: Sort yourselves out.

Harumph.  *wheeze*

[Torslanda]

Telefuckingmarketers! Die!

THIS. In spades . . .

Meanwhile in other news . . .

Self. You utter dickhead. When attempting to prune a lilac tree, what in the name of sweet baby cheeses possessed you to use a bow saw?
Further, why weren't you wearing gloves?
Further(II), why, when using said bow saw, did you hold the branch immediately adjacent the cut?
Further(III), why, when the saw stuck in the cut did you give an almighty shove which resulted in a large cut across your thumbnail?

Feck! It hurts to fit 23mm tyres today. . .

[Wombat]

Telefuckingmarketers! Die!

THIS. In spades . . .

Meanwhile in other news . . .

Self. You utter dickhead. When attempting to prune a lilac tree, what in the name of sweet baby cheeses possessed you to use a bow saw?
Further, why weren't you wearing gloves?
Further(II), why, when using said bow saw, did you hold the branch immediately adjacent the cut?
Further(III), why, when the saw stuck in the cut did you give an almighty shove which resulted in a large cut across your thumbnail?

Feck! It hurts to fit 23mm tyres today. . .

Uergh! Been there, done that, God, it bloody hurts....

[PhilO]

Recent telephone call: 

Some bloke 'phoned, introduced himself (christian name only, I noticed) and then proceeded to explain how I could have my telephone line settings changed to eliminate cold-calls. Which sounded pretty good, I admit. Then he started on the 'this would normally cost £4/month but we're offering it for £1.99' line, so I stopped him and asked if he was calling from my line provider. The conversation then went something like:

"Yes, I'm calling from [Company I've never heard of]."
"So, what you're saying is that you've cold-called me in order to try and sell an anti-cold-calling service?"
"Er... I suppose you could say..."
"Goodbye"

 

[Guy]

I feel sick and dizzy. A bloke has come in to give cow-orker extra tuition on some app she's using, and he's wearing a blue-and-cream paisley pattern shirt and a red-and-green paisley pattern tie!

[Mr Larrington]

Sainsbury's, not only are your disposable lighters expensive (£1.65 for three), they're also shit.  Note to self: go to Poundland next time you're in the High Street.

[Ham]

Zips. Now there's something to grumble about.  I have a collection of perfectly good jerseys with buggered zips, and having them replaced costs as much as a new one.

This:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Draper-41923-400mm-Silicone-Lubricant/dp/B000TOFOSU/ref=pd_sxp_grid_i_0_0

For zip fixing magic. Best used before you rip the thing to shreds out of frustration.

Just seen this.  Does it work on bike chains?

Well, yes it does lubricate quickly, and no it is not something you would ever use as it has no staying power.

It doesn't have any long term lubrication value for metal in the same way it does for plastic. Uses include: Spray on zips, curtain rails for instant fix, spray on gutter or other tight silicone joints to fit them together easily, shower door runners, plastic hinged joints, the list carries on. Everyone should have a can (it doesn't mark or stain fabric, btw)

[Mr Larrington]

WTF are those useless workshy twat builders doing over the road?  They've been building those flats for more than a year and have now fired up a pneumatic drill, sounding for all the world as though they're going to spend another twelve months knocking the place down again.

Bah

[mcshroom]

I'm singing tonight at a charity do. It would have been nice if my hayfever hadn't kicked in this morning :rolleyes:

I'm sure all the dust being kicked up by our big office move today isn't helping either.

[Canardly]

Re zips: try rubbing end of household candle along length of zip from time to time.

[Mrs Pingu]

Re zips: try rubbing end of household candle along length of zip from time to time.

Or a pencil not-lead

[fuzzy]

WTF are those useless workshy twat builders doing over the road?  They've been building those flats for more than a year and have now fired up a pneumatic drill, sounding for all the world as though they're going to spend another twelve months knocking the place down again.

Bah

There isn't a safety deposit box emporium in the vicinity is there?