Not piles, one of a kind.

[gordon taylor]

Holy crap.

GWS.

[Regulator]

Mine was caused by an ingrowing hair and I was advised to use depilatory cream on the area to prevent a reccurrence. I never got around to doing that and it never came back.

Apparently, in men one of the common causes of pilonidal sinus' and cysts is a stray hair working its way under the skin after they've had a hair cut.  The hairs are short and sharp, and I was advised to make sure I always showered after having a hair cut.  Pilonidal problems are also common in cyclists as well, particularly men.

You have my sympathy Steve.  Have a Reggie hug to make you feel better! 

I've had four cysts and abcesses that have needed surgery (unfortunately the Crohns makes me susceptible to them).  The pain beforehand is excrutiating...

...and depending where the cyst or abcess is located (and whether a fistula is also involved) the post-op dressing and packing can be almost as bad.  When you see the practice nurse, if (s)he suggests that you take some painkillers before coming to get the dressing changed, I'd say listen to their advice.  I've found co-codamol or diclofenac works well.

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The pus from these abscesses has the foulest, most puke-inducing stench it is possible to experience.
A trip to a sewage farm is nothing in comparison.
However hardened a surgeon can be, the reaction to really strong odours can only be partially suppressed.
I pity your surgeons!

Oh yes.... I had one burst whilst I was waiting to go to theatre...     The relief was a Godsend - but the smell made me heave.  The poor nurses had to go into overdrive opening the ward windows and spraying air freshener.

[BrianI]

Get well soon teethgrinder!
And this thread is better without pics!   

[Aidan]

OMG.

GWS.

OMG

My reaction exactly


Hope it heals quickly and pain free.

[chris]

Four pages! I would expected piles of smutty comments and in your end o by now;D

GSW Steve

[why1040]

Ouch!  That sounds like a complete nightmare and I'm glad to hear you're on the mend now!

Pain relief before dressing changes is not a bad idea at all.

Lots of fibre is good to keep your bowel movements healthy, but also lots of water to keep the whole process well lubricated and therefore as easy as possible.

Get well soon and don't get on that bike too quickly, you'll do yourself a mischief!   

[L CC]

TG that's a truly grim story.
Thankfully you've been sorted by a good team. Follow their advice and take it easy. And please, never fill me in with further details when we're on a ride....

GWS

[teethgrinder]

Looks like you'lkl have to stay off Stick bikes for a while. Maybe a nice cushion on a Rec(T)umbent seat would be the way to keep the legs fit?

No sitting for me, I've set out my sofa bed as a bed in my living room and I lay down. I want this healed ASAP.
Listening to doctors and taking good care of myself is my fastest way back on the bike. None of that silly macho business trying to cycle when it's bad for my health. That'll ruin my cycling if I make things worse.

Yes, painkillers before dressing changes would be a good idea. If only I thought of that while at the chemist yesterday.
Too late for today, I'll take a slow walk to the bus stop soon, luckily the bus goes direct to the Hospital and I can stand up on a bus.
Feeling a bit better today.

Thanks for the further info on the smell helly. That will embellish my tales and yes, my surgeons certainly have my sympathy. Nasty stuff!

Thanks for the manly Reg-hug. You certainly have been through the wars. Glad that at least you are very wise to these things and know what is going on, so can get sorted soon and avoid hassles. I wouldn't wish this on anyone once, let alone several times!
Re the pain. That never really got that bad for me. Certainly painfull and unpleasant, but not excruciating. Having the catheter fitted was the worst thing, but at least temporary. Perhaps absence of extreme pain was another odditty of my abscess?

Thanks for all the well wishes and you can pop round for a cuppa this evening or tomorrow evening (I need to get my dressing done at the hospital today but will get it done at the local surgery in the week) Rich if you like. I have a nice, big pint mug for tea.

Also, keep those cheeky bum jokes coming. Pile them high. Laughter is the best medicine. Don't forget the catheter too.

[Steph]

I was going to type "shitting hell" but, well, it was sort of.....

[teethgrinder]

 but also lots of water to keep the whole process well lubricated and therefore as easy as possible.

Yes, that's good advice. I'm well aware of how important hydration is to good recovery and good health. That was a big factor in how my bladder got so full. Keeping in mind my low food intake, I constantly sipped water to stay hydrated. I'd drank enough to lower my saline level enough for the doctors to notice and needed to take some in when I got to the hospital.

[Jaded]

It's a cracking tale.

[Charlotte]

Bloody hell Steve, I've heard some unfortunate arse-related cycling tales in my time but this one takes the Preparation H topped biscuit 

I agree that this thread is quite likely to pass into legend round these parts.  I don't think I've ever actually, properly felt queasy from anything I've read on YACF before.  That in itself deserves some kind of award.

Here's hoping you have a speedy and safe recovery.  Stay off the bike for as long as it takes to make absolutely sure that you don't tear yourself a new one.  Then take another week or two - just to be on the safe side.

Also, plz to assure us that you've got busy with the bleach in your bathroom sink since your friend Mr Hankey needed a helping hand into the bowl...?

[Biggsy]

Blimey, that was exciting to read, in a scary way.

Try a stool softener for a more gentle alternative to powerful laxatives and to ensure consitipation doesn't start, such as Ducalease (pharmacist or Wilko) or lactulose (presciption).

Get well soon.

[Jaded]

In case you do get constipated you could get some useful gadgets.

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[Charlotte]

Jaded - this is YACF.  If Steve's going to be using any mechanical assistance, he needs one of these:

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[RichForrest]

But if you use any of those, make sure you insert them in the correct hole 
We don't want more hospital stories

 

[hellymedic]

I am grateful that odours cannot (yet) be transmitted via the interwebs.

[gerwinium]

I think that's a record for TMI density...

Hope you get well soon, teethgrinder!

[Wowbagger]

You'll be pleased to learn that there was some limited discussion of your medical condition on the FNRttC, but since most there were innocent Cycle Chatters, unaccustomed to the ways of YACF, I only discussed it with those few of the funny handshake.

[mrcharly-YHT]

All this and no pictures? On second thoughts  . . .

[barakta]

Crikey TG I've never met you but that really does sound in character from what I've heard about and read of you eh?  Not just an abscess of the nasty kind, but one of the really shitty difficult kind!

Glad they sorted you PDQ and the hospital folk were so excellent, it sounds like you were a model patient too, keeping yourself cheerful and not being too wet when it came to pain. I loved the description of the staff.

I hope you heal well (that's better than fast) and you're back out on that bike of yours soon showing people "this is how to do it".

[Chris S]

I am awed by your laid-back attitude to what was probably a systemic infection; given your "ill" symptoms. When I had a similar problem (nowhere near as bad), my doctor took one look at the affected area and called an ambulance for me  .

Anyway - GWS. Although it's good news that it wasn't an anal fistula, it does mean we don't get to call you Twinbore Teethgrinder .

Eat lots of ice cream and All-Bran 

[teethgrinder]

I agree that this thread is quite likely to pass into legend round these parts.  I don't think I've ever actually, properly felt queasy from anything I've read on YACF before.  That in itself deserves some kind of award.

Well then, I am highly honoured!
I'll take that as a small consolation, not that it was worth the pain.

Also, plz to assure us that you've got busy with the bleach in your bathroom sink since your friend Mr Hankey needed a helping hand into the bowl...?

No worries there. There's no way I'm getting a nasty infecton because of a thing like that. Mopped up piss, which there wasn't much of anyway (no shit went on the floor) then squirted bleach onto floor and cleaned bleach into floor with wet cloth then dried, then straight in the bin with it all. Wash hands with good ol' soap.

[teethgrinder]

Blimey, that was exciting to read, in a scary way.

Try a stool softener for a more gentle alternative to powerful laxatives and to ensure consitipation doesn't start, such as Ducalease (pharmacist or Wilko) or lactulose (presciption).

Get well soon.

Constipation cleared itself yesterday before it was even time to take my laxatives, which remain snugly packed in their box, unused. Digestive system working well and I had a good feed at a pub today on my way home from the hospital (I used a bus). Also did a good one when I got up this morning.

[Bledlow]

Bloody hell! An epic agonising arse abscess! An awful thing to have to go through. I hope your recovery is swift & uncomplicated.

I know what the overfilled bladder is like. I had that when I was 22 years old, also with an abscess that needed surgery, but front not back, above my bladder. I could piss, but not lying down, & I was in bed unable to stand unaided for a while. Two nurses propped me up while I peed into one of the old glass urine bottles - then a second one which one nurse had to run & fetch when it became obvious the first one wasn't enough. Meanwhile the other nurse hung onto me & I onto the bed, trying not to faint with the pain (it was even worse going out than it was staying in), & both of us held the bottle. Luckily nurse 1 got back in time.

After that, they helped me to the toilet, or wheeled me there & parked me on it. I could piss sitting upright.

PS. The smell of the pus oozing out of my navel wasn't nice, but the dressings kept it in most of the time.