Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists

[The French Tandem]

Yesterday, whilst I was cycling along Southend’s infamous York Road to see my Good Pal Penelope.

“Zee zee Top!”, whom I believe to be a superannuated PBC, m’lud.

Zizi being of course a French baby-word for willy.  And the Cirl Bunting.

And it's also a perfectly legitimate Moroccan name. Try to remain serious while greeting your work colleague with a:
"Bonjour Monsieur Zizi."

A

[T42]

Hah! I used to know a bloke whose name begged to be pronounced as pink ass.

[Peter]

Hah! I used to know a bloke whose name begged to be pronounced as pink ass.

Not a world-famous violinist, I suppose?

[Peter]

Yesterday, whilst I was cycling along Southend’s infamous York Road to see my Good Pal Penelope.

“Zee zee Top!”, whom I believe to be a superannuated PBC, m’lud.

Zizi being of course a French baby-word for willy.  And the Cirl Bunting.

And it's also a perfectly legitimate Moroccan name. Try to remain serious while greeting your work colleague with a:
"Bonjour Monsieur Zizi."

A

I think you'd also by well-advise not to smirk when greeting a certain French footballer in such a fashion.

[felstedrider]

Not sure this counts but I had drawing pins thrown out of a car window into my path last week.

(Large silver SUV - Chigwell area)

[The French Tandem]

Not sure this counts but I had drawing pins thrown out of a car window into my path last week.

Wrong thread! You should start a new thread: "Oiks shooting stuff at cyclists".

More seriously, I think that throwing drawing pins with the intent of causing punctures is dangerous enough that such action should always be reported to the police.

A

[arabella]

Not sure this counts but I had drawing pins thrown out of a car window into my path last week.

Wrong thread! You should start a new thread: "Oiks shooting stuff at cyclists".

More seriously, I think that throwing drawing pins with the intent of causing punctures is dangerous enough that such action should always be reported to the police.

A

Anecdata but:  this happened near my workplace a number of years back, regularly ie >once.  Apparently it was taken seriously only once a motorist had raised as being a problem.  Therefore don't mention you were on a bike. 

[JellyLegs]

Not sure this counts but I had drawing pins thrown out of a car window into my path last week.

(Large silver SUV - Chigwell area)

There has been something of a spate of tack throwing by inadequate SUV occupants in the Epping - Ongar - Chigwell triangle recently.  The sensitive little darlings are feeling all upset about the shrinking effect of Ride London on their already miniscule male appendage and believe they are exacting some kind of Putin-esque revenge on the hordes of invading cyclists by throwing tacks from their car windows.  The area gets more Birds of a Feather meets Only Fools and Horses by the day!

[felstedrider]

Not sure this counts but I had drawing pins thrown out of a car window into my path last week.

(Large silver SUV - Chigwell area)

There has been something of a spate of tack throwing by inadequate SUV occupants in the Epping - Ongar - Chigwell triangle recently.  The sensitive little darlings are feeling all upset about the shrinking effect of Ride London on their already miniscule male appendage and believe they are exacting some kind of Putin-esque revenge on the hordes of invading cyclists by throwing tacks from their car windows.  The area gets more Birds of a Feather meets Only Fools and Horses by the day!

Interesting.  It was definitely mentioned on the village Facebook group around the time of Ride London but I assumed any animosity had all but disappeared.

[L CC]

There was another cyclist on my route to work this morning- going the other way. I don't know if he was shouting at me, at the cars (they didn't seem that badly behaved) or just at the world, but it was a full-on


mumngbpbAAAARRRRRGGGGAA

[Kim]

Driver of car, stopped at the stop line at the top of Weatheroak Hill^[1] winds down his window in anticipation of me crossing the junction.  As I pass, he serenades me with a full operatic rendition of the word "Bicycle!" inna Freddie Mecury style.


_{[1] Unlike the driver of the car the other day, who had stopped arse-backwards in the hedge.  He was accompanied by a several of ossifers who were clearly as puzzled by the dynamics of the situation as I was.}

[Cudzoziemiec]

Driver of car, stopped at the stop line at the top of Weatheroak Hill^[1] winds down his window in anticipation of me crossing the junction.  As I pass, he serenades me with a full operatic rendition of the word "Bicycle!" inna Freddie Mecury style.

If you were on the Red Baron, the correct reply would have been "I'm on a rocket ship to Selly Oak!"

[Cudzoziemiec]

Hah! I used to know a bloke whose name begged to be pronounced as pink ass.

Not a world-famous violinist, I suppose?

Pink Ass Sugar Daddy, no less.

[JellyLegs]

Truly original “Get on the f’ing cycle path” from the driver on the Maldon by-pass yesterday.  It wasn’t, it was a shared path and I was doing a heavily wind-assisted 25mph so I ignored him and ignored him again as I passed him stuck in traffic in the town centre a few seconds later.

[HTFB]

"You scream like a fish!"

From a black-clad deliverybod on a stealth-lit ebike who had just jumped the lights across my path. "Take a look!" I had shouted, raising my well-modulated and manly baritone on the last syllable, forte-fortissimo in a diminished fifth. He did look, and our paths didn't intersect. So I won, even if I scream like a fish.

[Pingu]

"You'll be alright if you stick to the middle".

From a truck driver who'd just gone through the large puddle I was approaching.

 

[Kim]

Oik at a bus stop did the try-to-startle-the-cyclist-with-a-sudden-manly-gorilla-noise routine to me earlier.  I completely failed to fall off and get run over by a van or anything, so they won't get the TikTok views they were hoping for.  Unless their microphone managed to catch my retort of "BUS WANKER!", which they are probably too young to appreciate.

[Lightning Phil]

The favourite of kids is to ask me to do a wheelie.  Being on a recumbent I reply that
I already am.  This causes no end of mirth on both sides of the exchange.

[sam]

"You scream like a fish!"

From a black-clad deliverybod on a stealth-lit ebike who had just jumped the lights across my path. "Take a look!" I had shouted, raising my well-modulated and manly baritone on the last syllable, forte-fortissimo in a diminished fifth. He did look, and our paths didn't intersect. So I won, even if I scream like a fish.

"You ride like a girl," I was told in an attempted shaming by a very silly boy.

(click to show/hide)

Regret to inform that anecdote has been fabricated for dramatic effect. I was once told I have the hips of a woman, back in my childbearing years. I'd provide photographic evidence to the contrary, but selfies make me coquettish.

[De Sisti]

I was approaching some traffic lights to turn-right, about 100 yards from a left-turn I would
make to enter my street. Two cars, a big Land Rover and an Audi saloon. At the red traffic
light I was able to filter to the front of them as the lights changed to green.


I turned right, the Land Rover followed (no issues there), the Audi's driver slowed alongside
me and shouted that I should be on the cycle path on the opposite side of the road, because
"millions were spent on it".


I had to make my left-turn about 40 yards after he caught up to me and have his rant.


I just waved at him as he sped off and I made my left-turn.

[fd3]

^ Yes, "smile and wave boys, smile and wave"

[Kim]

Old man in a hat, having slowed to a crawl to drive his little car through a gap (that could easily accommodate it) between a taxi (which I was waiting behind) and a skip:  "Those bikes are stupid."

Er, thanks?

[fd3]

I have noticed on my commute this week that many residents of Mordor struggle to drive their cars through car sizes spaces.

[Morat]

"That doesn't make a shit of difference"
Van driver after I pointed to the sign saying Give Way to Oncoming Traffic on the far side (to me) of the bridge.
"You're all fucking hooligans"
same van driver after I slapped the side of his van to stop him running over my wife's leg.

I was contemplating sending his keys for a swim, but there were quite a few innocent drivers waiting patiently either side of the bridge by the time Mr vanDriver had decided I looked a lot bigger off the bike than he realised and drove off.

[Tim Hall]

Not really an oik, and I'm sure there's a proper thread, but I'm stuffed if I can find it. Anyhoo...

Out today with my Young Lady and the Gorgeous Grandchildren. We are on the Pino (a sort of tandem m'lud) and towing a twin sized trailer.

Matey winds down his window:
"Do a wheelie". <Big grin>

My Young Lady and I both  burst out laughing.