OK, so the front passenger seat seatbelt warning light sometimes doesn't. Or when it does it shouldn't. And the seatbelt pretensioner warning light is about as decisive as an indecisive thing after a severe beating about the head. And the front passenger airbag warning light lies.
I take the front seat out and untie all the magic anbaric knots and retie them and put the seat back. Result? NFC 
Send cage off to cage repairers. They plug in their guru which says Body Control Unit is borked. That will be £518 to replace all in says the guru operator but we have to order the thing as we don't hold it in stock so we can't fix before Wednesday at the earliest. I says OK, I'll pick the car up in a mo. He says fine but you will have to pay for the part in advance as it is a SPECIAL THING.
I arrives at the cage repairers and the guru supervisor says hello here is your car. That will be the cost of the part plus £60 for the honour of us telling you you have to spend over £500 
You mean you aren't including the diagnostic cost in the cost of the repair?
No.
Money grabbing wankers.
I hope, for their sake, that they have discumknockerated the seat sensor and checked the wiring continuity because if they haven't I don't think we will need the medium of yacf.co.uk to gauge Fuzzy Rtd etc's response to 'We've changed the body control unit and the fault's come back!'
If a car dealership is suddenly engulfed in an enormous fireball . . .
You may jest......
Picked car up last night. Started engine, pre tensioner warning light refused to go out 
So, the cage is back at the fettlers. I get a call yesterday arvo from Fettler Admin Dude (FAD)- "Have you had battery problems? We are getting 4 low voltage error codes", "Yes" I reply. "We replaced the battery a little while ago". "Before or after we changed the BCU?" FAD asks. "A couple of months before" I tell him. He goes away to tell the fettlers.
An hour or so later FAD calls back- "Do you need the car back tonight?" I tell him we don't. "We are struggling to find out what is wrong" he explains. "We need to do a snapshot- we get the download all the data from the cars Babbage Engine and send it to Mazda's Babbage Engine so they can look at it". "OK" I says. "Zoom Zoom".
No contact from the garage yesterday so I phone them at 4:15 p.m. "Funny you should phone" says FAD, "Your car Babbage Engine has spoken with the Mother Ship Babbage Engine (MSBE) and the MSBE Minions (MSBEM) have sent us a request for further checks- 39 pages of system checks on BCU's, anbaric string connections, resistance etc."
"Am I building up a tab here?" I asks.
"Hang on a mo" says FAD. he returns a little while later to say "If the fault is linked to the work we have done, that will be free. If it isn't, it will be another £114."
"Now wait just one cotton picking moment Hoss" says I. "I have already spent over £600 to be in exactly the same position as I was before I dropped the car off for repair and you might want more money?"
The saga continues.
