Grammar that makes you cringe

[T42]

Years ago I read of a fire aboard a Eurostar during which "passengers were able to evacuate into a parallel service tunnel". Must have been a bit smelly in there.

Re substitute, the Who knew which way round. https://youtu.be/eswQl-hcvU0

[Cudzoziemiec]

This is why I would avoid using substitute as a verb. "Replace with" is unambiguous (so far) and doesn't attract criticism.

[T42]

That's what happens, in the end.  Mistakes co-exist with correct usage and meanings become woolly.  The mistakes usually appear in Guardian crosswords not long into this process.

[ElyDave]

Substitute seems to be changing its meaning. It used to mean (and still does) that if X was substituted for Y then X replaced Y. Nowadays it occasionally (often?) means that Y replaced X.  I blame soccer.

I'll be perfectly honest, I can never remember which way round is correct. But to be even more honest, if I thought it mattered, I might make more effort to remember! The intended meaning is usually obvious from the context.

I've even been known not to give a toss when people use "evacuate" incorrectly (ie evacuating a building rather than a person).

Shirley a building can be evacuated, so can a person if you have a hose and a funnel

[citoyen]

Shirley a building can be evacuated, so can a person if you have a hose and a funnel

See, I got it the wrong way round in my earlier comment - even though I do actually know the correct usage...

But I’ll try not to lose any sleep over it.

[Cudzoziemiec]

That's what happens, in the end.  Mistakes co-exist with correct usage and meanings become woolly.  The mistakes usually appear in Guardian crosswords not long into this process.

The clues in Guardian crosswords seem to be made as far from the standard usage as possible without being impossible to say it's the same word. Which makes sense given their function. Though I do hope nobody's trying to learn English from them.

[T42]

That's what happens, in the end.  Mistakes co-exist with correct usage and meanings become woolly.  The mistakes usually appear in Guardian crosswords not long into this process.

The clues in Guardian crosswords seem to be made as far from the standard usage as possible without being impossible to say it's the same word. Which makes sense given their function. Though I do hope nobody's trying to learn English from them.

I was agreeably surprised the other day when I spelt a German word with an umlaut and the crossword engine accepted it. Then I spelt an English word with a Ü and it accepted that.  Elementary character-mapping, dear Watson.

[De Sisti]

The use of the word "brace" when someone scores two goals in a football match.

[citoyen]

The clues in Guardian crosswords seem to be made as far from the standard usage as possible without being impossible to say it's the same word. Which makes sense given their function. Though I do hope nobody's trying to learn English from them.

Most crossword compilers use Chambers as their dictionary of choice - mainly because of its liberal attitude towards the inclusion of variant spellings and secondary meanings. I also have on my bookshelf a copy of the Chambers Crossword Dictionary, which includes plentiful lists of common cruciverbalisms.

The only thing you will learn from doing crosswords regularly is how to become good at solving crosswords.

Brewers Dictionary of Phrase & Fable is also a classic crossword companion.

[T42]

The clues in Guardian crosswords seem to be made as far from the standard usage as possible without being impossible to say it's the same word. Which makes sense given their function. Though I do hope nobody's trying to learn English from them.

Most crossword compilers use Chambers as their dictionary of choice - mainly because of its liberal attitude towards the inclusion of variant spellings and secondary meanings. I also have on my bookshelf a copy of the Chambers Crossword Dictionary, which includes plentiful lists of common cruciverbalisms.

The only thing you will learn from doing crosswords regularly is how to become good at solving crosswords.

Brewers Dictionary of Phrase & Fable is also a classic crossword companion.

Yeah. In the Graun's Quick this morning they decided that specious meant deceptively pleasing, which is a bit bass-ackwards IMHO. Specious for me starts out pleasing then disappoints, rather than the other way round.

[Cudzoziemiec]

Yesterday I was unmangling a document that had been put together by automatic speech recognition (see rants passim). One of the gems of this one was its reference to "chief Brexit negotiator Michelle Obama". It was only after I'd sent it off that I realised I'd corrected the surname but forgotten to de-feminise his first name.  The worst of it is, I'm sure nobody even noticed.

[Cudzoziemiec]

...a siphonophore measuring an estimated 150 feet (46 metres)...The research vehicle dove as deep as 4,439 metres, but the siphonophore was only discovered as the vehicle was making its way back to the surface at around 630 metres... The new siphonophore was about twice as long as many blue whales, and three times as long as a humpback whale, which usually grow to around 50ft long.

On balance I rather like this inconsistency, as it assumes the target audience (Americans, judging by the use of 'dove') will be familiar with both measurement systems.
https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2020/apr/15/like-a-spiral-ufo-worlds-longest-animal-discovered-in-australian-waters

[citoyen]

...a siphonophore measuring an estimated 150 feet (46 metres)...The research vehicle dove as deep as 4,439 metres, but the siphonophore was only discovered as the vehicle was making its way back to the surface at around 630 metres... The new siphonophore was about twice as long as many blue whales, and three times as long as a humpback whale, which usually grow to around 50ft long.

On balance I rather like this inconsistency, as it assumes the target audience (Americans, judging by the use of 'dove') will be familiar with both measurement systems.
https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2020/apr/15/like-a-spiral-ufo-worlds-longest-animal-discovered-in-australian-waters

Depth in metres, length in feet. Nothing inconsistent about that.

[Moleman76]

I can't fathom depths in metres

[citoyen]

Whereas I'm a fully paid-up member of the Metric Depth League.

[Cudzoziemiec]

I can't fathom depths in metres

Are you a feet on the ground sort of guy?

[Moleman76]

Prodigal sheep returns after seven years in Tasmania
https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2020/apr/16/prickles-the-sheep-home-at-last-after-fleeing-2013-tasmanian-bushfires

Well, not "cringe", but I expected to read that the sheep had gone back to Australia or NZ after sojourning in a far country and wasting substance with riotous living, and to hear what the sheep's older sibling had to say.  Perhaps something like "I've always stayed here on the home pasture, and now you're giving her a ride in your Ute?"

perhaps "After seven years, prodigal sheep returns in Tasmania" ?

[T42]

...a siphonophore measuring an estimated 150 feet (46 metres)...The research vehicle dove as deep as 4,439 metres, but the siphonophore was only discovered as the vehicle was making its way back to the surface at around 630 metres... The new siphonophore was about twice as long as many blue whales, and three times as long as a humpback whale, which usually grow to around 50ft long.

On balance I rather like this inconsistency, as it assumes the target audience (Americans, judging by the use of 'dove') will be familiar with both measurement systems.
https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2020/apr/15/like-a-spiral-ufo-worlds-longest-animal-discovered-in-australian-waters

Criticizing the Graun's grammar isn't really fair. It's like criticizing your dog's cooking.

[Cudzoziemiec]

Prodigal sheep returns after seven years in Tasmania
https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2020/apr/16/prickles-the-sheep-home-at-last-after-fleeing-2013-tasmanian-bushfires

Well, not "cringe", but I expected to read that the sheep had gone back to Australia or NZ after sojourning in a far country and wasting substance with riotous living, and to hear what the sheep's older sibling had to say.  Perhaps something like "I've always stayed here on the home pasture, and now you're giving her a ride in your Ute?"

perhaps "After seven years, prodigal sheep returns in Tasmania" ?

Yes. That was kind of in my mind at the time.

[Andrij]

A local shop informs customers:

WE HAVE HAD TO REDUCE OUR OPENING AND CLOSING HOURS

 

[Kim]

A local shop informs customers:

WE HAVE HAD TO REDUCE OUR OPENING AND CLOSING HOURS

 

Daylight saving...   

[citoyen]

A local shop informs customers:

WE HAVE HAD TO REDUCE OUR OPENING AND CLOSING HOURS

 

This is the punchline to some kind of quantum physics joke, isn't it?

[Davef]

A local shop informs customers:

WE HAVE HAD TO REDUCE OUR OPENING AND CLOSING HOURS

 

... because our opening time changing every day by 3 hours was confusing people. We have therefore reduced opening hours by 2, and closing hours by 1 and adopted a more traditional 24 hour cycle.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[Moleman76]

A local shop informs customers:

WE HAVE HAD TO REDUCE OUR OPENING AND CLOSING HOURS AND INCREASE OUR CLOSED HOURS

 

There, that's what they wanted to say

[Cudzoziemiec]

"On lean focus, seamless experience and seamless experience, we specifically haven't been specific here in terms of the points we want to mention."

A Russian trying to make a speech in public, his English is hesitant – I think we'll forgive him. Besides, he makes me laugh.