Grammar that makes you cringe

[nicknack]

I counted 12. Any more?

That's quite an achievement.

[red marley]

It was the best of signs, it was the worst of signs.

[Auntie Helen]

I counted 12. Any more?

That's quite an achievement.

I got 13 but one or two are more stylistic than pure grammar.

[jsabine]

I counted 12. Any more?

That's quite an achievement.

I got 13 but one or two are more stylistic than pure grammar.

I got to 14 and gave up, but at least one was an inconsistency (homemade and home made can't both be right in the same paragraph).

[citoyen]

I counted at least 17 errors, though as Auntie Helen says, some more of style than grammar (I count the homemade/home made inconsistency as one of those).

[Ian H]

I am genuinely puzzled as to how that got through all the processes to finished sign without anyone either noticing or caring enough to correct it.

[red marley]

Yes that puzzled me too. It seems to be a perfect storm of ignorance of grammar, Dickens, communication style and layout. You'd like to think that at least some of those bases would be covered between all who must have been involved in getting that sign made.

[Cudzoziemiec]

Sign makers have fallen on hard times and are in a bleak place.


I'll let myself out...

[Pickled Onion]

Nowadays it might just be a customer with a PC who sends a word processor file to the person with a big sign printer. Which equally begs the question, who would set themselves up as sign printing outfit if they're incapable of spotting basic errors?
It's very interesting though. Whoever typed it up is not a complete novice: they've managed to use the same typeface throughout for a start, there's no underlining and the font sizes are appropriate to the content. On the other hand they've clearly got autocorrect turned on (copper field) and are blindly trusting it, but they're ignoring any other errors which would surely have been highlighted.

[Phil W]

It was the best of signs, it was the worst of signs.

That should be

"it was the Best of sign's, It was the worst of Signs"

[clarion]

Across the road is a wonderful poster in the window of the corner shop.  It lists the fruit & veg they typically sell.  All goes well until the last item: Pear's.  Unless, of course, they keep the soap in the fresh fruit section, in which case I apologise for any false assumptions I have made.

[T42]

Nowt to do with grammar, but I can just imagine the scene in the cafeteria:

Waitress: Here we are, love, your tea and scones.

Love: So where's the bubbly?

Waitress: Just coming up. [Pours milk into glass, inserts straw and blows bubbles.] There we are, dear.

[Cudzoziemiec]

Nowt to do with grammar, but I can just imagine the scene in the cafeteria:

Waitress: Here we are, love, your tea and scones.

Love: So where's the bubbly?

Waitress: Just coming up. [Pours milk into glass, inserts straw and blows bubbles.] There we are, dear.

For YACF, that was a surprisingly clean version of bubbly. 

[Ian H]

Across the road is a wonderful poster in the window of the corner shop.  It lists the fruit & veg they typically sell.  All goes well until the last item: Pear's.  Unless, of course, they keep the soap in the fresh fruit section, in which case I apologise for any false assumptions I have made.

Your only false assumption appears to be that the shop is something other than a grocer's.

[Auntie Helen]

As I was toiling up East Hill in Colchester this morning on the trike I saw this:



Not sure what I do if I want to sell them my records.

[Cudzoziemiec]

"Bring and sell" is a small, logical step from "bring and buy"...

I presume that's not your bike leaning against the bench and bin (on the basis that it's not a recumbent) so is it a customer's or is it an "antique" for sale?

[Auntie Helen]

It's an "antique" for sale - at least I assume so as it's been there the last few times I passed.

[Cudzoziemiec]

Let's hope they don't sell Alfie(?) while you're in there!

[Ian H]

Not exactly grammar, but amusing - seen on a sign outside a pub on my way home this evening:-

"Live karache here", with sundry bits of musical notation around it.

[shyumu]

Um.  What?

Later on during the same day I overheard one gentleman telling another, "We're nearly finished deplaning the plane".  I wondered what they would have left when they'd finished that job.

[Cudzoziemiec]

From Anne Mustoe's book about riding round the world. Here she is in the Sind desert:

The kilometre stones gave the place names in Urdu and the distances in Arabic numerals.

That's ambiguous; does she mean the numerals we use and call Arabic or the numerals actually used in Arabic? I'd have presumed the first but Wikipedia shows numerals included in the Urdu alphabet so probably that, particularly as she was there in 1987.

[tiermat]

A particularly annoying one from "Dead Trigger 2"

"Clear area from zombies"

[clarion]

Across the road is a wonderful poster in the window of the corner shop.  It lists the fruit & veg they typically sell.  All goes well until the last item: Pear's.  Unless, of course, they keep the soap in the fresh fruit section, in which case I apologise for any false assumptions I have made.

P3050027 by TJ Clarion, on Flickr

[Wowbagger]

Saw a sign by some roadworks on Saturday's ride that made me think of this thread, would have stopped to take a pic but couldn't be bothered. The wording was:

"Slow down your speed"



Surely "reduce your speed" or "slow down your vehicle"? But "slow down your speed" just makes me itch.

That is the direct parallel of weatherpersons who refer to hot and cold temperatures.

"Don't touch that temperature! It's hot and will burn you!"

[Wowbagger]

"St. Michael's Infants is still outstanding!"