Grammar that makes you cringe

[rogerzilla]

In the shop at work:

ICE CREAM'S
HALF PRICE

It still works...completely by accident!

[frankly frankie]

Use (not to mention over-use) of the present historic tense.

As I write, some woman on R4 bleating about ancient Rome - "the generals are revolting" and "Caesar is getting quite concerned".

 

R4 should have a style guide banning this sort of dumbing-down.

[Ian H]

Use (not to mention over-use) of the present historic tense.

As I write, some woman on R4 bleating about ancient Rome - "the generals are revolting" and "Caesar is getting quite concerned".

 

R4 should have a style guide banning this sort of dumbing-down.

I'd tolerate it in unscripted discussions such as this one, but not otherwise.

[Nuncio]

Use (not to mention over-use) of the present historic tense.

The favoured tense of that unlikely alliance of radio historians and television football pundits.

[Mr Larrington]

Is using the word "yourself" instead of "you" standard Scottish practice?

[hellymedic]

Well, people use 'myself' instead of 'me' all over BRITAIN.

[T42]

Not to mention himself or herself as in "herself wouldn't stand for it".

I can't imagine using yourself or myself as the subject of a sentence, though.  Myself don't like cats is kinda weird, whatever you think about the furry bastards.

[hellymedic]

I think ***self is used more in the dative (and accusative) than the nominative. It is still wrong IME.

[Mr Larrington]

It seems that Hanwell murder victim Alice Gross was victimed by her killer.  I don't have a favourite cause of DETH but being victimed would be high on the list of least-preferred.

[hellymedic]

As they said in The Shed, verbing weirds language.

[Ian H]

Anyway, murdering language is several degrees less serious than murdering people.

[L CC]

My current level of tolerance may mean that the former leads to the latter.

What's wrong with 'which'¹?

I spent some time muttering "which which which which which" this afternoon. My English-mangling-colleague probably thinks I'm accusing her of owning a black cat and riding a broom.

[1]: Them(sic) guards what(sic) was(sic) sent back for getting the cable holes made bigger, them(sic) what(sic) we brung(sic) in from China

[Mr Larrington]

As they said in The Shed, verbing weirds language.

The normally-Excellent Shed quoting the godawful "Calvin & Hobbes" does not render the whole thing either Big or Clever

[T42]

I think ***self is used more in the dative (and accusative) than the nominative. It is still wrong IME.

Maybe I'm thick or sleepy or both but I find it hard to think of any legitimate usage other than as a reflexive or as emphasis. Oh, and as -what would you call it in general? - a personal identifier, as in I'm not feeling myself, he did it himself, etc.

[Jaded]

Gah, people using i.e. when they mean e.g. 

Ah yes, Gah indeed!

[orienteer]

As they said in The Shed, verbing weirds language.

This habit is spreading to the Japanese language too, apparently.

Chin suru - means make "chin" sound, the sound a microwave makes, so the meaning is to microwave something.

[Ian H]

I think ***self is used more in the dative (and accusative) than the nominative. It is still wrong IME.

Maybe I'm thick or sleepy or both but I find it hard to think of any legitimate usage other than as a reflexive or as emphasis. Oh, and as -what would you call it in general? - a personal identifier, as in I'm not feeling myself, he did it himself, etc.

"If you call back, ask to speak to myself". A former business partner  did that to such an extent that I had to get rid of him.

[Andrij]

I think ***self is used more in the dative (and accusative) than the nominative. It is still wrong IME.

Maybe I'm thick or sleepy or both but I find it hard to think of any legitimate usage other than as a reflexive or as emphasis. Oh, and as -what would you call it in general? - a personal identifier, as in I'm not feeling myself, he did it himself, etc.

"If you call back, ask to speak to myself". A former business partner  did that to such an extent that I had to get rid of him.

With extreme prejudice, I hope.

[Andrij]

Seen elsewhere:

Thanks, Sam. My laziness has travailed once more

 

[Ian H]

Having reviewed this matter for you, I have been unable to evidence that you were notified of a MEAF applicable upon early redemption of your mortgage account.

[mattc]

Having reviewed this matter for you, I have been unable to evidence that you were notified of a MEAF applicable upon early redemption of your mortgage account.

Let's stick to English
(or this thread will swamp the server)

[Feanor]

As they said in The Shed, verbing weirds language.

The normally-Excellent Shed quoting the godawful "Calvin & Hobbes" does not render the whole thing either Big or Clever

Now, now.

Back in the day, reading fare for visitors to The Smallest Room at Feanor Towers was Bloom County ( US political comic-strip, featuring Opus the penguin ); Calvin and Hobbes, and the RS catalogue ( when it was a single volume and you could design stuff in your head by leafing through the application notes it contained ).

Trufax.

[Mr Larrington]

As they said in The Shed, verbing weirds language.

The normally-Excellent Shed quoting the godawful "Calvin & Hobbes" does not render the whole thing either Big or Clever

Now, now.

Back in the day, reading fare for visitors to The Smallest Room at Feanor Towers was Bloom County ( US political comic-strip, featuring Opus the penguin ); Calvin and Hobbes, and the RS catalogue ( when it was a single volume and you could design stuff in your head by leafing through the application notes it contained ).

Trufax.

One out of three ain't bad, as the peot didn't quite sing.

[Cudzoziemiec]

erm...

[Mr Larrington]

erm...

(Is mildly surprised that "like" and "noworramean" don't merit a mention, like)