Grammar that makes you cringe

[Bledlow]

Yes. He is not able to eat when he chooses. He left behind the freedom to be able to eat when he chooses. You can't be free to not be able to eat when you choose. That's not a freedom, it's a constraint.

[ElyDave]

from a job ad

"Focusing on Productizing Science®"

aaaaarrrrrrgggggghhhhh 

[SteveC]

Just had cause to look at a website where Every Single Word Throughout Was Capitalised Except For e mail.
(Which was spelt like that, e<space>mail).
I've now had an email from the owner and that was exactly the same.

[citoyen]

from a job ad

"Focusing on Productizing Science®"

aaaaarrrrrrgggggghhhhh 

There's more than just grammar wrong with that.

[T42]

Inappropriate prepositions, various perpetrators: "assign on", "specialise on" and a bunch more I can't remember.  Literacy took a dive in 1968.

[red marley]

I think we should post this once a month, just as a reminder like.

[T42]

Which is of course a load of bollocks. IDGAS about fashion.

[Mr Larrington]

I hope that use of "literally" is, like, literally ironic

[Cudzoziemiec]

I thought virtually every post in this thread acted as a reminder. Also in the spelling thread.

[ian]

Heh heh heh. Jo wins this thread. Actually, the best thing about this thread is watching people get angry at perceived grammatical injustices only to find themselves damned within two posts. There's no camaraderie amongst the grammar police. On slip and the icepicks will be out.

[Zipperhead]

Heh heh heh. Jo wins this thread. Actually, the best thing about this thread is watching people get angry at perceived grammatical injustices only to find themselves damned within two posts. There's no camaraderie amongst the grammar police. On slip and the icepicks will be out.

"On slip" - is that a ballet step?

[Cudzoziemiec]

Fielding position, surely. Pulling ian up for such a slip is just not cricket.


I said up! 

[T42]

Heh heh heh. Jo wins this thread. Actually, the best thing about this thread is watching people get angry at perceived grammatical injustices only to find themselves damned within two posts. There's no camaraderie amongst the grammar police. On slip and the icepicks will be out.

I thought everyone had a fridge these days.  Far too much effort to bash someone over the head with one - would a cleaver do?

[hellymedic]

Auntie, on the video here http://www.bbc.co.uk/guides/zs8xj6f#zgxyhv4 suggests you estimate you vocabulary by counting the 'amount of words you know'...[sic]

[citoyen]

Announcements on the train. Typically along the lines of: "Passengers are reminded to keep your personal belongings with you at all times."

First it's the use of the passive[-aggressive] voice that grates. Then they follow it up by mangling their personal pronouns. It makes my skin crawl.

"Passengers, please keep your personal belongings with you at all times." Isn't that much neater and clearer?

[ian]

Yes but that voice comes direct from 1954 via the Time Trumpet. It's how they talked back then.

[citoyen]

Yes but that voice comes direct from 1954 via the Time Trumpet. It's how they talked back then.

They didn't constantly nag passengers with announcements every 30 seconds back in 1954.

[mattc]

That's harsh - it's not every 30 seconds. They only make announcements once everyone has found their seats, generally calmed down, and mattC is either settling into his book or having a snooze.

[Auntie Helen]

Announcements on the train. Typically along the lines of: "Passengers are reminded to keep your personal belongings with you at all times."

First it's the use of the passive[-aggressive] voice that grates. Then they follow it up by mangling their personal pronouns. It makes my skin crawl.

"Passengers, please keep your personal belongings with you at all times." Isn't that much neater and clearer?

the 'personal' is unnecessary too and really irritates me. What other belongings would I have with me?

[Guy]

the 'personal' is unnecessary too and really irritates me. What other belongings would I have with me?

Depends how many people you've mugged on the way to the station

[citoyen]

That's harsh - it's not every 30 seconds.

OK, maybe that was an exaggeration, but it also depends on what line/service you are on. The train I used to take to work was the commuter service with frequent stops and the sheer number of announcements used to drive me mad, never mind the content of those announcements.

[ian]

There's the the Southern tsunami of sorry. They're sorry to announce. It makes it sound more like they're sorry they have to say sorry. Less so about the train that isn't going to arrive. But when they ratchet up, it's like your brain is filling with frantically pogoing sorries. No one can be that sorry, not even the Southern sorry-bot, and that's programmed to be sorry. It only exists to be sorry. Fucking stop it. How about a generic we're sorry broadcast once a day. Preferably from their CEO in stocks and about to be pelted – again – with a sundry collection of decomposing animals and rotten vegetables.

But yes, all the rest. Don't forget your belongings, remember the platforms might be wet, watch that gap, etc. etc. If I could remember not to forget my belonging I wouldn't bloody forget them and I know things are slippy on rainy days. I live in Britain.

[LEE]

I'm not reading 175 pages to see if this is already posted but....


How do you comfort Grammar Fanatics?

Pat them on the head and say "There, Their, They're"

[hellymedic]

I suspect that's been in NSFW'S Truly Terrible jokes' thread (most of which would be SFW in a primary school).

[tiermat]

Last night I received an email, the subject line of which was "Notice of Termination". Makes me a) wonder just how they are going to terminate me, b)think,  isn't it a bit extreme? and c) reminds me of an old RPG called "Paranoia", whereby your character could get terminated at any, random, time, accompanied by a "Citizen, are you happy?" "Yes" "Please report for termination, immediately"