Grammar that makes you cringe

[Cudzoziemiec]

"That's a really good question" tends to mean "I have no idea how to answer that question, so I'm going to talk about something else."

[Pingu]

...I stuck a pencil in my eye as penance.

I don't see the point in that.

[Cudzoziemiec]

"That's a really good question" tends to mean "I have no idea how to answer that question, so I'm going to talk about something else."

Or even "I have no idea how to answer that question. So, I'm going to talk about something else."

[Mr Larrington]

...I stuck a pencil in my eye as penance.

I don't see the point in that.

2B or not 2B?

[Wowbagger]

...I stuck a pencil in my eye as penance.

I don't see the point in that.

POTD!

[Pingu]

...5am in the morning...

Well it wouldn't be in the ruddy afternoon, would it? 

[Mr Larrington]

...5am in the morning...

Well it wouldn't be in the ruddy afternoon, would it? 

Oh yes, that one grates.  Now, TV's David Addison, motor racing colemantator, who compounds the sin of stating that Stuart Graham is the only person to have won a TT on both two and four wheels with the insertion of a superfluous “line” every time he uses the words “inside” and “outside”.  Please cease the trait.

[Tim Hall]

Today's grammar whinge from a grumpy old bastard man with a wealth of experience is the apparent inability of people to use the humble question mark correctly.

"Are you well?" Correct.

"I hope you are well?" Wrong. Stop it.

(Waits to be told he's wrong.)

[Nuncio]

I suppose you can turn pretty much any statement into a question by (rising) intonation. How would you denote that in writing other than by a question mark?

[Mr Larrington]

According to TV's Cam Donald we could visually see how hard $RIDER was trying during the Superbike TT.  I'll cut Mr Donald some slack just this once, since he’s a Colonial, but do it again, laddie, and it's a Reëducation Camp for you.

[Moleman76]

the reverting to the traditional British spelling of "ize" (the one that the Americans never replaced with "ise").

What? there's an instance of "ize" that we missed over here?  I never realized that.

[Mr Larrington]

According to TV's Cam Donald we could visually see how hard $RIDER was trying during the Superbike TT.  I'll cut Mr Donald some slack just this once, since he’s a Colonial, but do it again, laddie, and it's a Reëducation Camp for you.

Right, you Aussie oik!  Get in the cattle truck

[T42]

So, it would appear that - despite its harmlessness and semantic equivalence to acceptable turns of phrase - we must not begin a sentence thus.

When I lived in Embra and dinosaurs ruled the Earth the usual attention-demanding blip at the start of a sentence was "now" ("nar" in NI (with the R pronounced properly)).

[Pingu]

the reverting to the traditional British spelling of "ize" (the one that the Americans never replaced with "ise").

What? there's an instance of "ize" that we missed over here?  I never realized that.

You're none the wizer, then.

[Legs]

BBC News is reporting that the missing submarine 'has only several hours of oxygen remaining'.  Is it just me who thinks that 'several' is a really clunky word to use in this instance?

[Tim Hall]

I couldn't decide if this should be here or in the spelling thread, but here it is.

The rather wonderful butcher's shop in my Rural Idyll scatters apostrophes over its notices and signs with impunity.

Sandwich's is a staple, as are sausage's. Nothing too challenging there.

However, last weekend I noticed the sign advertising their opening hours had "Close's".  I think this is taking apostrophe misuse to new, untold heights. I salute them.   

[Mr Larrington]

Got spammed just now on Farcebok by some clod from a village near King's Lynn who will clean you're Gutters.  I don’t know whether the grammar or the geography is more deserving of being set ablaze.

[Pingu]

the people who taxidermy their pets

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2023/jun/28/pet-taxidermy-cats-dogs

[Cudzoziemiec]

Yes, it oughtta be 'taxidermify' if it's a verb.

I'll get my dog-skin coat.

[Peter]

BBC News is reporting that the missing submarine 'has only several hours of oxygen remaining'.  Is it just me who thinks that 'several' is a really clunky word to use in this instance?

No, it is not just you.  I think a lot of the BBC news website is written by very, very young, people who are both linguistically and generally ignorant. It has really taken a dive (sorry about that!).

[Mr Larrington]

I think I found the all-time greatest apostrophail ever in a Farcebok comment just now:

Mr's Thatcher

 

[hatler]

My brother is a journo who has retired and been tempted back. He works for a fairly sizeable international news org (not the Beeb) and has been bemoaning the appalling levels of basic linguistic and grammatical competence of first-jobbers for at least the last 20 years.

[Peter]

Not just I, then!

[Cudzoziemiec]

I think I found the all-time greatest apostrophail ever in a Farcebok comment just now:

Mr's Thatcher

 

Zoinks. I'd like to suspect a deliberate act.

[FifeingEejit]

Yes, it oughtta be 'taxidermify' if it's a verb.

I'll get my dog-skin coat.

Greyhound fur tuxedo?

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