Stock answers to the usual questions?

[Kim]

On one occasion when I stopped at a red light, the car which edged up to the line in the next lane was very low-slung.  I turned to have a look, only to find myself on eye level with the driver of a Lotus Elise, who was doing exactly what I was doing - going 'Hmmm, what's that then...?'  We grinned at each other and settled back to wait for the lights to change.   

I had an opportunity to compare shades of British Racing Green with the driver of a well-loved MG in much the same way last week.   

[teethgrinder]

• Is that a bike?
• Are you disabled?
• What's it called?
• Did you build it yourself?
• How much does it cost?
• Is it difficult to ride?
• Does it go fast?
• Do you go to rallies?
• Why don't you get a proper bike?
• Can I ride it?
• Are you gay?
• etc.

P*ss off and mind your own f**king business you nosey ****! 


Is that a bike?

Yeees.


Are you disabled?

My doctor tells me I am A1 fit. I'm lucky to be able to cycle, unlike most poor unfit fatties in their motorcars.



What's it called?

A bi-cy-cle. (You stupid ****)


Did you build it yourself?

Yes, it was on an episode of Blue Peter. It took a while to save up all the Coke tins though. (I actually said this to someone on a train who asked that question when I was with Rich Forrest with his recumbent )


Does it go fast?

Depends what you call fast really. The speed you go depends on the conditions, but I average n mph for x miles.



Are you gay?



(If they are male)
Yes sweetie, why? Do you fancy me?
(Hopefully, they aren't gay, but if so, see italic words below)

(If they are female)
No, why? Do you fancy me?
(Women will always try to escape if they think I want to get intimate with them. )