Author Topic: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances (Read 124602 times)

Wowbagger · « **Reply #250 on:** 03 July, 2014, 06:24:04 pm »

"Grandad! I can't see! Your beard is in the way!"

PhilO · « **Reply #251 on:** 10 July, 2014, 02:52:26 pm »

Riding back from Nursery with No2 son (4 years) on the trailer bike:

No2 son: Dad? Can you ride your bike along the top of that fence?

Me: No! I leave that sort of thing to Danny MacAskill.

No2 son: And Chris Akrigg!

The lad's learning!

Cudzoziemiec · « **Reply #252 on:** 04 August, 2014, 03:42:25 pm »

"Can you get children's memberships of the CTC?"

Cudzoziemiec · « **Reply #253 on:** 26 August, 2014, 10:57:48 am »

Among the raspberry canes: "Are we picking them or pick-and-eating-them?"

PaulF · « **Reply #254 on:** 26 August, 2014, 10:48:58 pm »

At the sailing club this evening I had a beer with one of the other parents whilst waiting for my son. When he came out he looked at the empty glasses and said "a Well, it looks like you had a good time!"

tom_e · « **Reply #255 on:** 31 August, 2014, 09:23:04 pm »

"I'm thirsty. I would like some cake."

Confused perhaps, but he got the important point across..

perpetual dan · « **Reply #256 on:** 05 September, 2014, 09:24:16 am »

Two boys walking to school today...
Boy 1: Shit, if it wasn't for the camouflage bag I'd be really cultivated.
Boy 2: If you were cultivated you wouldn't say "shit".
Boy 1: ... or crap ... or bollocks.

Cudzoziemiec · « **Reply #257 on:** 10 September, 2014, 08:39:33 pm »

"I'm trapped by my own bike!"
And indeed he was - but then he freed himself and got up, giggling, having fallen off when I tried to get him to signal. I think he'll do ok.

CrinklyLion · « **Reply #258 on:** 02 October, 2014, 07:53:06 am »

"It's better to wash your hands with hot water. Because hot kills germs, and cold just makes them go to sleep."

peliroja · « **Reply #259 on:** 09 October, 2014, 10:42:46 pm »

The daughter of a friend of ours:

Two little sticky birds sitting on a wall...
I think it's supposed to be 'two little dickie birds'.
No, it's two little sticky birds. That's how they stay on the wall.

Si_Co · « **Reply #260 on:** 29 October, 2014, 12:47:13 pm »

Well just about child utterances. On recent trip to tourist place that does family tickets for under 16's to which Miss S' friend (MSF) came:

Me: How old are you?
MSF: 15
Me: When do you turn 16?
MSF: On my birthday.

Wowbagger · « **Reply #261 on:** 25 November, 2014, 05:58:49 pm »

My daughter bought a shoulder of lamb the other day. Martha, almost 4½, saw this and was interested.

"Did they take a lamb from its mummy and turn it into that?" she enquired.

Ellen began explaining.

"They shouldn't have done that," said Martha, "it's not right. I don't like it."

I haven't yet found out whether Martha consumed any of the dead sheep concerned. Suffice it to say that last Thursday I cooked tea for her and her younger brother. I was intending to do, at Martha's request, fish fingers and tomato soup, a combination of which she is especially fond. However, I had to make up the quantity with a few chicken nuggets I found in their freezer and put these delicacies on the table for Mrs. Wow to supervise. To my consternation Martha consumed all four fish fingers and all five chicken nuggets without Inigo getting a look-in, so as recently as last Thursday it was OK to turn fish and chicken into those.

scott · « **Reply #262 on:** 27 November, 2014, 02:56:15 am »

Anders: "If you want High Definition, just stick a dictionary on top of the Empire State Building."

hatler · « **Reply #263 on:** 27 November, 2014, 06:55:58 am »

Applause. Up to his usual standards !

hellymedic · « **Reply #264 on:** 27 November, 2014, 01:51:02 pm »

Good stuff, Anders!
Kid brother, then at age similar to Anders, freezing on above ground Northern Line station.
Taps wall-mounted timetable.
"That's what you call hard-backed fiction."

scott · « **Reply #265 on:** 27 November, 2014, 02:51:23 pm »

Quote from: hellymedic on 27 November, 2014, 01:51:02 pm

"That's what you call hard-backed fiction."

perpetual dan · « **Reply #266 on:** 09 December, 2014, 01:02:46 pm »

On showing her

Miss Dan the Elder says "that's just silly and dangerous".

rogerzilla · « **Reply #267 on:** 24 December, 2014, 08:20:35 am »

(Listening to Happy Xmas (War Is Over))

"Yoko doesn't do anything!"

DJR9 · « **Reply #268 on:** 24 December, 2014, 12:11:15 pm »

Walked past the "little loo" the other day, four yr old sitting on it with the door open:

Are you OK Boo?

the answer - rock and roll daddy - rock and roll....

pcolbeck · « **Reply #269 on:** 29 December, 2014, 09:21:09 am »

On being asked what comes next after blowing out the candles on his birthday cake my nephew Dermot (3) replied "jelly and cake for EVERYONE !".
Cant say fairer than that really.

Cudzoziemiec · « **Reply #270 on:** 29 December, 2014, 02:37:09 pm »

Add some bikes and I think your nephew's got the forum slogan.

mrcharly-YHT · « **Reply #271 on:** 16 January, 2015, 10:17:00 am »

Last night (at dinner) the Step-daughter-at-home (SDAH), who is 19, very delicately pointed out that we (Mum and Stepdad) are often rude and niggley with each other. She then asked us what was the point of getting married and living together. Stepson inadvertently blurted out 'sex'.
Turned several shades of crimson and declared that he must have Tourettes as he had no intention of saying that.

Cudzoziemiec · « **Reply #272 on:** 22 January, 2015, 06:11:40 pm »

Mrs Cudzo has been for a job interview. Went ok, but she's thinking about a total change of industry. Little gave her this advice: "You should be an author, then you wouldn't have to write a CV!"

tiermat · « **Reply #273 on:** 25 January, 2015, 11:06:31 am »

Whilst I was living the rock n roll lifestyle yesterday (read I was ironing), I had the TV on the Kerrang channel. They played "Smells Like Teen Spirit". TLD, firstly, says "I like this one", then says "You like rock, don't you, daddy?"

I thought that was rather perceptive of her.

clarion · « **Reply #274 on:** 26 January, 2015, 01:22:41 pm »

Gosh, nothing gets past these kids, does it?

Author Topic: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances (Read 124602 times)

Si_Co