Author Topic: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances  (Read 122058 times)

Kim

  • Timelord
    • Fediverse
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #200 on: 11 January, 2014, 06:12:00 pm »
Mother and child are riding their bikes in Sutton Park.  I ride past onna 'bent.

Mother: "Why have you stopped?"
Child: "I want to lie down!"

Wowbagger

  • Former Sylph
    • Stuff mostly about weather
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #201 on: 11 January, 2014, 09:36:11 pm »
Yesterday...

My daughter: I think this baby needs his nappy changed.

My 3-year-old grand-daughter: No, it isn't him, mummy. I did a fart.
Quote from: Dez
It doesn’t matter where you start. Just start.

CrinklyLion

  • The one with devious, cake-pushing ways....
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #202 on: 15 January, 2014, 08:18:08 pm »
As we were leaving the house this morning, discussing the fact that it was a bit dark because it is Wednesday (our long-day-with-an-early-start) and winter and that it was a "Daddy Wednesday" and that yes, we do have to go to school now....

Me: "It's a wet Wednesday too, isn't it?"
SmallestCub: "Those words both start with the same letter!"
Me: "They do, don't they.  Do you know what the fancy pants word for that is?"
SC: "No idea!"
Me: "It's called alliteration.  That means when you have a bunch of words that all start with the same sound."
SC: "Like we could say it is a wet, windy Wednesday?"
Me: "Yup.  Or even a wet, windy, wintry Wednesday!  That's alliteration.  But Miss probably hasn't taught you that yet."
SC: *pauses* *thinks* "Mummy...."
Me: "Yes?"
SC: "You are... [dramatic pause] as cuddly as a teddy bear!"
Me: "That's a nice thing to be.  You're pretty cuddly too."
SC: [declaims proudly] "That was a simile!"

I told 'Miss' this afternoon.  Yes, that is indeed what she taught him recently in literacy :D

Eccentrica Gallumbits

  • Rock 'n' roll and brew, rock 'n' roll and brew...
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #203 on: 15 January, 2014, 08:20:43 pm »
If you ever get tired of Smallest Cub, I'll take him.  ;D
My feminist marxist dialectic brings all the boys to the yard.


CrinklyLion

  • The one with devious, cake-pushing ways....
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #204 on: 15 January, 2014, 08:31:40 pm »
Yesterday's school run back home was possibly even better.  We were a bit delayed by having got outside the school gates before _someone_ realised he needed a wee more than would wait til we got home and so having to go back into school to use the facilities.  Once we were once more on the way, I was chivvying him along since he'd arranged to play out with the Smallest Superhero Next Door (who had got a lift with his Granny) once we got home and said that we needed to hurry up or said Smallest Superhero would think that something had happened to us.  Like maybe we'd been eaten by dinosaurs.  The Cub thought that was quite unlikely, since they are extinct.  The rest of the journey consisted of me having to think up frankly somewhat improbably scenarios to explain our delay, and him pointing out the reasons that the Smallest Superhero would, like, totally not think that!

Met a giant warty toad and went for a swim? "Course not - we haven't got our swimmers with us!"

Got distracted by some dragons? "No - dragons only like hot weather.  It's much too cold out for dragons!"

The road had turned into a river and we couldn't get across because we didn't have a boat? "You'd float!  We could use you as a boat.  And anyway, it isn't raining!"

Got a flat tyre? *looks at the bike I'm wheeling and decides that flat tyres and p**ct**es are clearly completely different things* "Don't be daft - we haven't got a car!"

A gigantic gust or wind whisked us away and we went for a bit of a fly around? "D'oh!  Gravity, mum!"

etc etc etc....

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #205 on: 15 January, 2014, 08:37:11 pm »
 :D

 These days I get told off for suggesting that my Martian friends were going to give us a lift but they couldn't come because their flying saucer gets rusty in the rain.

CrinklyLion

  • The one with devious, cake-pushing ways....
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #206 on: 15 January, 2014, 08:51:28 pm »
Oh - I forgot about the aliens taking us for a joy ride in their rickety rocket.  Apparently that wouldn't have happened because we wouldn't have known them and you don't go off with people you don't know!

clarion

  • Tyke
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #207 on: 16 January, 2014, 10:52:24 am »
*Cub Fan*
Getting there...

Kim

  • Timelord
    • Fediverse
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #208 on: 16 January, 2014, 03:18:35 pm »
Oh - I forgot about the aliens taking us for a joy ride in their rickety rocket.  Apparently that wouldn't have happened because we wouldn't have known them and you don't go off with people you don't know!

Never trust a rickety rocket.  The bloody things are unreliable enough when expertly molished.

clarion

  • Tyke
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #209 on: 16 January, 2014, 03:41:53 pm »
Can I send the Little Duck to the Cubs for Awsumness Lessons?
Getting there...

Cudzoziemiec

  • Ride adventurously and stop for a brew.
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #210 on: 16 January, 2014, 09:55:43 pm »
Not Awsumness!  :o The current word, I was informed today, is "boss". Something "boss" is like "epic" but with added coolness and stuff.
Riding a concrete path through the nebulous and chaotic future.

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #211 on: 21 January, 2014, 04:39:37 pm »
Try some new phrases

'Boss level'

When they've done something good or it is a birthday "You've levelled up".

Dinner with grandparents "Squad up, this dungeon isn't easy."

When someone is quiet at the dinner table; 'Camper'

<i>Marmite slave</i>

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #212 on: 22 January, 2014, 03:50:02 pm »
Try some new phrases

'Boss level'

When they've done something good or it is a birthday "You've levelled up".

Dinner with grandparents "Squad up, this dungeon isn't easy."

When someone is quiet at the dinner table; 'Camper'
Chez boab we (all) with heavy irony use the phrase "like a boss" whenever a minor achievement is reached.

At Age 21 you get the T shirt:

rogerzilla

  • When n+1 gets out of hand
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #213 on: 08 February, 2014, 06:35:15 pm »
Everyone is watching Revenge Of The Sith.

"Mummy, is R2D2 a dalek?"
Hard work sometimes pays off in the end, but laziness ALWAYS pays off NOW.

CrinklyLion

  • The one with devious, cake-pushing ways....
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #214 on: 08 February, 2014, 06:43:47 pm »
I meant to post this on here t'other day, and then totally forgot.  D'oh.  Anyhoo...

SmallestCub does philosophy...

I told him that I was going to spend ALL my cuddles on him, apart from a few that I'd save for his brother, of course. This is because we have, for years, sung the song "I love you, yes I do, gonna spend all my cuddles on you" (to the tune of Special Brew) whilst getting him dry after the bath. And he said
Quote
But the good thing is that when you spend a cuddle on someone you get one back.
This is, of course, a conversation we have had before.
Quote
That's because there's infinte cuddles, isn't there?
he said (again, infinity is a concept that we've discussed before) then looked terribly thoughtful for a moment before adding
Quote
Or maybe just one. It's like it's infinity cuddles and ALL the same one cuddle, at the same time.

That bit's all his.  Deep, man.

Cudzoziemiec

  • Ride adventurously and stop for a brew.
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #215 on: 12 February, 2014, 04:52:18 pm »
"Is there an Earl of Bristol?"
"No, I don't think so."
"Somerset?"
"Yes."
...various other places...
"Cornwall?"
"There's a Duke of Cornwall. That's Prince Charles."
"Is Prince Charles married to the queen?"
Riding a concrete path through the nebulous and chaotic future.

Cudzoziemiec

  • Ride adventurously and stop for a brew.
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #216 on: 05 March, 2014, 04:57:47 pm »
"Mummy's bike is rusting."
 :(
Riding a concrete path through the nebulous and chaotic future.

clarion

  • Tyke
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #217 on: 06 March, 2014, 03:15:56 pm »
Random child in cafe: Dad!  Can you see the big slide down which I slud?
Getting there...

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #218 on: 07 March, 2014, 08:29:52 pm »
Mini-hatler  "Dad. What's that thing you used to play records on ?"

hatler          "A record player."

A perfectly reasonable question about something he's never seen in the flesh.
Rust never sleeps

menthel

  • Jim is my real, actual name
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #219 on: 10 March, 2014, 01:51:06 pm »
Me: "Did you eat all that pizza?"

Son: "Yes, I stuffed it all in my face. I love pizza. Can I have a cookie now?"

Very sensible if you ask me, especially as he had helped make both the pizzas and the cookies. His pizza restaurant was called "Fully Loaded" apparently.

Cudzoziemiec

  • Ride adventurously and stop for a brew.
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #220 on: 13 March, 2014, 09:37:38 pm »
"Imagine if there were Harry Potter, Star Wars and Lego City Undercover all together in one game!"
Riding a concrete path through the nebulous and chaotic future.

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #221 on: 31 March, 2014, 10:27:00 pm »
"I am covered in snot."

Yes, son, you are.  ::-)

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #222 on: 04 April, 2014, 08:44:56 am »
Miss Dan the Elder has swapped walking for cycling to school lately. Over breakfast today:
Yesterday I tried riding up $STEEPEST_HILL_IN_TOWN. I got to the Thai food place [a good way up].

On the way to school I go [longer, more uphill route] so that I can go down the long hill on the bridge.

That's my girl  ;D

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #223 on: 04 April, 2014, 01:28:55 pm »
17 year old step son who's never really shown any interest in cycling has been riding to work (about a mile and a bit) on mum's 1964 Moulton for the past few days

"I'm really enjoying cycling to work. Shame it's so near"  ;D

not so much a gravel grinder.... more of a gravel groveller


Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #224 on: 07 April, 2014, 09:29:57 am »
Test run for this year's Easter Arrow, on the back of a tandem trike and in company with a bent. Stopped at a junction and got chatting to a family on bikes, including a four year old on his own steed.

Quite apart from his healthy interest in the funny bikes trikes, "My friend's coming round later. I'm going to give him my balance bike, because he's only got one bike, and it's got stabilisers."

The force of N+1 is strong in that one ...