Author Topic: What's the most ridiculous job you've ever considered or applied for? (Read 5822 times)

mrcharly-YHT · « **on:** 16 March, 2017, 10:17:15 am »

I started (actually filled in the application form) a job painting oil rigs. Ridiculous because I have a problem with heights, particularly on artificial structures and open grids like stairs and ladders.

Dibdib · « **Reply #1 on:** 16 March, 2017, 10:39:45 am »

"Had" rather than "applied" but I had some interesting temp gigs when I was a student.

I once spent a week wearing a very fetching "HERE TO HELP" sash and wandering around a branch of ~~Sainsbury's~~ Mr Sainsbury's House Of Toothy Comestibles _{(credit: Teh Bear Mr T Hall OTP)}, helping little old ladies find where they'd put everything after a store-wide reshuffle. I wouldn't mind, but I didn't shop there either so I wasn't that much help!

T42 · « **Reply #2 on:** 16 March, 2017, 10:55:14 am »

Sales manager for Philips in Venezuela. I was a 23-yr-old programmer in Glasgow at the time. Didn't get it.

LittleWheelsandBig · « **Reply #3 on:** 16 March, 2017, 11:07:15 am »

Had (as a penniless student) - paid guinea pig for drug validation studies
Considered - site engineer for a road construction project in the New Guinea highlands. The quality of the armed security of the construction camp was a serious consideration.

Basil · « **Reply #4 on:** 16 March, 2017, 11:22:18 am »

As a young oaf, i applied to Trinity House for the gig of lighthouse keeper.
Really. I was quite serious. I got as far as the medical, where I failed the colour vision test.

PeteB99 · « **Reply #5 on:** 16 March, 2017, 11:40:38 am »

Quote from: Basil on 16 March, 2017, 11:22:18 am

As a young oaf, i applied to Trinity House for the gig of lighthouse keeper.
Really. I was quite serious. I got as far as the medical, where I failed the colour vision test.

I got the application forms which was when I realised there would be a colour vision test

When Gerard Houllier was sacked I applied for the Liverpool managers job enclosing a screen shot of our works fantasy footy league table to prove my abilities.

Didn't get it.

Mr Larrington · « **Reply #6 on:** 16 March, 2017, 12:13:14 pm »

Quote from: Dibdib on 16 March, 2017, 10:39:45 am

"Had" rather than "applied" but I had some interesting temp gigs when I was a student.

I once spent a week wearing a very fetching "HERE TO HELP" sash and wandering around a branch of ~~Sainsbury's~~ Mr Sainsbury's House Of Toothy Comestibles _{(credit: Teh Bear)}, helping little old ladies find where they'd put everything after a store-wide reshuffle. I wouldn't mind, but I didn't shop there either so I wasn't that much help!

I stole "Mr Sainsbury's House Of Toothy Comestibles" from a Mr T Hall otp.

Jaded · « **Reply #7 on:** 16 March, 2017, 12:18:40 pm »

I applied to work on an Oil Rig construction site for the summer. Instead I ended up Hop Picking, which was much more fun, I'd imagine. (A friend got a job on the rig site, and apparently sometimes when you were on the ground it would rain in bright sunshine. Yellow rain.)

Vince · « **Reply #8 on:** 16 March, 2017, 12:31:25 pm »

I worked in a bike shop for a week.

(click to show/hide)

ElyDave · « **Reply #9 on:** 16 March, 2017, 02:25:41 pm »

I applied for and very nearly got a job working for the HSL at Buxton. Working out how things blew up, including the practical testing of such theory.

In truth I'd probably have been bored witless after a while

Wowbagger · « **Reply #10 on:** 16 March, 2017, 03:44:13 pm »

I spent 11 years in teaching. That was pretty ridiculous.

Then I spend 9 years working in computing in HMCE. I didn't think I was much good at that either, but they paid me.

I stood as a Green Party candidate in the Southend Borough Council elections a couple of years ago, and as an independent about 15 years ago. I didn't get them, but as an independent I took enough votes from the Lib Dem to force a change in that party's policy about a local road scheme that had been planned.

clarion · « **Reply #11 on:** 16 March, 2017, 04:52:20 pm »

I applied to be a toilet paper tester in Oughtibridge.

Didn't even get an interview

T42 · « **Reply #12 on:** 16 March, 2017, 05:03:45 pm »

A summer job I had as a student was as a so-called linesman at Butlin's in Minehead. We emptied the bins that stood along the chalet lines every morning, swept the concrete aprons in front of the chalets then strolled around the rest of the day with our plodgers (½ broomsticks with bloody great spikes in the end - I still have mine nearly 50 yrs later) looking for £5 notes and finding sweet-papers and women to chat up. The pay was £7/10/0 per week, meals & accommodation thrown in. The staff was either seasonal workers or students. We had a great time.

At the end of the summer I made myself a tent out of buckshee poythene sheet with my plodger as the pole and hitch-hiked up to Edinburgh with a chum. We did a chunk of the way - Loughborough to Scotch Corner, I think - lying flat on top of a truck's load, hanging onto the ropes.

One of the best summers I ever spent.

TheLurker · « **Reply #13 on:** 16 March, 2017, 06:43:08 pm »

Private Investigator. Didn't even get an interview.

hairyhippy · « **Reply #14 on:** 16 March, 2017, 06:51:49 pm »

Sheperd.

ian · « **Reply #15 on:** 16 March, 2017, 07:04:44 pm »

I was offered a job at Lehman Brothers. Turned it down because I don't own a tie. Tidy hair wasn't enough.

Turned out in the end that they really didn't need my help.

Mr Larrington · « **Reply #16 on:** 16 March, 2017, 07:51:10 pm »

I once applied for a BOFH job in Saudi Arabia. What was I thinking?

Kim · « **Reply #17 on:** 16 March, 2017, 07:53:40 pm »

Quote from: ian on 16 March, 2017, 07:04:44 pm

I was offered a job at Lehman Brothers. Turned it down because I don't own a tie. Tidy hair wasn't enough.

Turned out in the end that they really didn't need my help.

Barakta sorted them out instead

tiermat · « **Reply #18 on:** 16 March, 2017, 07:57:15 pm »

Quote from: Mr Larrington on 16 March, 2017, 07:51:10 pm

I once applied for a BOFH job in Saudi Arabia. What was I thinking?

Ditto, I was well up for it, until my father in law pointed out some of the downsides.

arabella · « **Reply #19 on:** 16 March, 2017, 08:52:35 pm »

Security Guard, at Kensington Olympia, when I was a shchudent

barakta · « **Reply #20 on:** 16 March, 2017, 09:16:14 pm »

Quote from: ian on 16 March, 2017, 07:04:44 pm

I was offered a job at Lehman Brothers. Turned it down because I don't own a tie. Tidy hair wasn't enough.

Turned out in the end that they really didn't need my help.

I DID actually work for Lehman brothers as Kim says.

They wanted clever little crips for their flagship disability employment project, but didn't want to do the work needed to support us as soon as it wasn't 100% smooth (e.g. they screwed up and wouldn't fix it). I still have to swear it wasn't my fault they went bustz0r.

In many ways its my most ridiculous job...

I applied for a helpline assistant job for a deaf organisation which said textphone users could do it... They then changed the job entirely before interview so I was being interviewed for TELEphone support... They totes broke the law and were lucky I was very nice about it cos I should probably have sued their sorry arses off.

Pedaldog. · « **Reply #21 on:** 16 March, 2017, 10:51:17 pm »

Motor Torpedo boat mechanic when I was in the RAF. Changed my mind after being put on general duties for 8 months whilst waiting for the next course to start. I did actually spend a couple of weeks "Spud Bashing" (Peeling Potatoes)!

Basil · « **Reply #22 on:** 16 March, 2017, 11:01:22 pm »

Quote from: Basil on 16 March, 2017, 11:22:18 am

As a young oaf, i applied to Trinity House for the gig of lighthouse keeper.
Really. I was quite serious. I got as far as the medical, where I failed the colour vision test.

Probably inspired by this. I had no girlfriend and was prepared for desperate measures.
https://youtu.be/wNTf8iublLc

Torslanda · « **Reply #23 on:** 17 March, 2017, 12:11:23 am »

Quote from: clarion on 16 March, 2017, 04:52:20 pm

I applied to be a toilet paper tester in Oughtibridge.

Didn't even get an interview

That's gotta be a shit job . . .

Interview question: Can you find it? Would a map help?

MikeFromLFE · « **Reply #24 on:** 17 March, 2017, 08:13:49 am »

In many ways the volunteer job I took just after I retired (due to internal brain melt-down) after 40 years in the NHS was, and is, pretty odd - particularly for me.
Volunteer Canal Lock Keeper - on a stretch of canal without too many boats (max 15/day), but lots of friendly walkers and cyclists, next to a great tea room. Wandering around picking litter if I feel like it, testing lock gates for their sleep-ability - what's not to like? But I'd spent those 40 years working indoors, never mixing with the scary public, and generally getting away with being a miserable git. Volunteering outdoors, with the public, having to be cheerful and helpful - it's just not me - and I love it!

Tapatalk puts this signature here, not me!