What's the most ridiculous job you've ever considered or applied for?

[clarion]

Not ridiculous, but rare: I met and befriended one of the last of the 'Little Mesters', who was based on West Street, Sheffield.  He was looking to retire, and wanted to train someone up to continue the trade.  I was interested, but stepped aside in favour of my friend, Creeps, a member of our stage crew, a talented welder and panel beater, and all round Good Chap.  At the last minute, Creeps was unable to start the training, and the Little Mester just decided to pack in and retire.

Sad story all round, really

[Morrisette]

Tea tester at the British Tea Council!

Didn't get an interview  despite being HIGHLY qualified!!!

[Wowbagger]

Tea tester at the British Tea Council!

Didn't get an interview  despite being HIGHLY qualified!!!

"But stay!" said Mr Peter: "when in England as you know,
I eared a living tasting teas for Baker, Croop & Co.,
I may be superseded - my employers think me dead!"
"Then come with me," said Somers, "and taste indigo instead."

[Cudzoziemiec]

I once applied for a BOFH job in Saudi Arabia.  What was I thinking?

BOFH? Bring Own Floppy Hair?

[PeteB99]

I once applied for a BOFH job in Saudi Arabia.  What was I thinking?

BOFH? Bring Own Floppy Hair?

Bastard Operator From Hell mlud.

[Redlight]

Editor of New Cyclist magazine (remember that?).  Against my own expectations, I made the final three but the much more qualified Roger St Pierre got the gig.

[Pickled Onion]

Tea tester at the British Tea Council!

Didn't get an interview  despite being HIGHLY qualified!!!

I was once offered a job as a Tea Merchant in one of the Wharfs on the Thames in Borough, where the tea came in proper wooden chests and everything. It was a misunderstanding, they had two jobs going and I'd applied to sweep the floors or something for a few weeks over the summer, but they thought I was there for the foreman's job. I was so busy lying through my teeth so as not to let on I was a student & would disappear after a few weeks that I didn't realise until they offered me the job and I had to politely decline.

[barakta]

Oh if we're doing mistakes...  On my first day at Lehman I hadn't heard the name the desk staff mumbled at me for the person who would come and get me.  Some time later I answered to a name I recognised (our HR contact) and was taken to the 30th floor and was about 5 minutes into this interview when they asked me something about hedge funds and I was like "errr" cos I didn't even know what a hedge fund was so we realised we had an identity mixup. I think my line manager was mortified but everyone else including posh interviewer banker thought it was hilarious. That's why I always insist on people-names in writing cos I just can't parse them in speech alone.

I didn't think I was well enough dressed to be a hedge fund manager cos even though they weren't as judgey as I expected them to be on appearance/dress and I wore trouser suits I still looked visibly out of place.  During my final month at Lemon I was at some divisional nobby nonsense when a "tweedy looking middle aged lady" approached me and said "you don't look like you fit in here, you look like you should be a professor of medieval Welsh" which was funnily enough what I had been thinking about her. We had a lovely chat about being weirdos in a place where people were nice about it, but it was obvious we simply didn't fit in and think like everyone else. She was only working in the bank in a support role cos hubby had a boring job in the City and they were saving up to retire in the Welsh mountains... Nice lady.

I know my Scope internship mentor was appalled I'd been placed at Lehman as he said it was obvious to him that it was NOT right for me. I had no interest in finance for a start and I "don't look right". I was placed there because I scored very highly on their graduate internship interview day and Lehman was their most prestigious employer and the previous mentors were trying to get crip-bums on seats. I don't think Lehman knew what to do with me cos I could play the game but I called out corporate bullshit where I saw it and I have absolutely no fear of authoritah or hierarchy 

[clarion]

Editor of New Cyclist magazine (remember that?).  Against my own expectations, I made the final three but the much more qualified Roger St Pierre got the gig.

Late, much lamented

My favourite magazine, even when it became Cycling Today.

[Pickled Onion]

As a young oaf, i applied to Trinity House for the gig of lighthouse keeper.
Really.  I was quite serious.   I got as far as the medical,  where I failed the colour vision test.

Probably inspired by this.  I had no girlfriend and was prepared for desperate measures.
https://youtu.be/wNTf8iublLc

The bastards told me they only ever considered ex-navy-officers. And I have perfect colour vision.

[clarion]

Sheperd.

Funnily enough, a post of Shepherd came up in the Sheffield Star, so I posted off a letter detailing my experience and qualifications.

Given my allergies to many animals (though not, ordinarily, sheep), perhaps it was best that they discarded my application.

[LEE]

As a young oaf, i applied to Trinity House for the gig of lighthouse keeper.
Really.  I was quite serious.   I got as far as the medical,  where I failed the colour vision test.

I got the application forms which was when I realised there would be a colour vision test

When Gerard Houllier was sacked I applied for the Liverpool managers job enclosing a screen shot of our works fantasy footy league table to prove my abilities.

Didn't get it.

The ability to manage a football team to success clearly isn't what Liverpool are looking for any more.

[PaulF]

<snip>

I didn't think I was well enough dressed to be a hedge fund manager cos even though they weren't as judgey as I expected them to be on appearance/dress and I wore trouser suits I still looked visibly out of place.  <snip>

 One of my clients was a hedge fund and they all wore shorts and T-Shirts. One of tehm asked me not to wear a suit when I visited as it made them feel uncomfortable.

[Karla]

Between school and uni I worked as a stripper.

not THAT sort of stripper!

[PeteB99]

As a young oaf, i applied to Trinity House for the gig of lighthouse keeper.
Really.  I was quite serious.   I got as far as the medical,  where I failed the colour vision test.

I got the application forms which was when I realised there would be a colour vision test

When Gerard Houllier was sacked I applied for the Liverpool managers job enclosing a screen shot of our works fantasy footy league table to prove my abilities.

Didn't get it.

The ability to manage a football team to success clearly isn't what Liverpool are looking for any more.

Harsh but I know a few people who would agree with the sentiment.

Still we're above MU so it's not all bad.

[Nick H.]

I've worked in a slaughterhouse, been a milkman, a painter in the engine room of a megayacht and a Daily Mail contributor.

[David Martin]

Royal Ballet School

[Jaded]

Royal Ballet School

Oh, go on, they didn't advertise for Gusset Sniffers, did they?

[Wowbagger]

Royal Ballet School

OT so far as this thread is concerned, but I love the fact that the aficionados call the high-level corridor linking the Royal Ballet School to the Royal Opera House the "Bridge of Thighs".

[David Martin]

No, not that Royal Ballet School, the one in Richmond Park. I was employed there...

[Wowbagger]

That's interesting. I didn't know they had a place in Richmond Park. A google puts a pointer in Covent Garden, but their website shows the imposing white building which presumably is the one you have in mind.

Back to the topic!

[Jaded]

It's called White Lodge.

[Zipperhead]

and it's next to Spankers Hill, where Hummers did introduce me to thyngs most foule

[Andrij]

In my university days I applied for a position at the local offices of the American Civil Liberties Union.

While I score to the right of most posters on this forum, my views have actually mellowed a fair amount since my early 20s.  I made it to the interview stage, though I did not get the position.