The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)

[rafletcher]

Fucking neighbours. The fence along our property line is literally falling down. It’s her fence. She asked us to trim off the clematis over it so she could have it replaced. We did, losing all this seasons flower buds and 75% of the plant. Now she she says she can’t afford the repair and will get it propped up. I’ve a good mind to kick it right over into her bloody garden. That clematis took 10 years to get that size.

[Basil]

Fucking neighbours. The fence along our property line is literally falling down. It’s her fence. She asked us to trim off the clematis over it so she could have it replaced. We did, losing all this seasons flower buds and 75% of the plant. Now she she says she can’t afford the repair and will get it propped up. I’ve a good mind to kick it right over into her bloody garden. That clematis took 10 years to get that size.

When I lived in Bournville, the neighbours on both sides thought our adjoining fences were theirs. In 32 years one side blew down twice and the other side three times.  On each occasion they sorted it out themselves.
I kept quiet about it.

[SoreTween]

What the fucking is up with humans since the invention of the smartphone? Why does that simple gadget turn homo-sapiens into inconsiderate unthinking Wanker? I am fucking bored of tapping the cunts on the shoulder,
smiling and closing their office door or knocking on their hotel room door and asking them to Shut The Fuck Up.

It's a phone you dick, a lump of technology whose long forgotten primary function is the transmission of the human voice to a remote location. It is not jewellery serving no practical purpose to wave around at arms length while bellowing loud enough to be heard 3 time zones away.

[Kim]

What the fucking is up with humans since the invention of the smartphone? Why does that simple gadget turn homo-sapiens into inconsiderate unthinking Wanker?

Objection: Cars are a lot simpler, and were invented a long time before smartphones.

It's a phone you dick, a lump of technology whose long forgotten primary function is the transmission of the human voice to a remote location. It is not jewellery serving no practical purpose to wave around at arms length while bellowing loud enough to be heard 3 time zones away.

It's a pocket computing terminal with a legacy name and voice call capability, and some do appear to be marketed as jewellery.  Sidetone pretty much went out of the window at around the time that GSM was invented, hence the bellowing problem.  It's poor engineering as much as impoliteness; humans instinctively speak louder when they don't hear their own voice fed back to them.  That we now expect people to have their telephone in their pocket instantly ready for action means that we've lost the cultural expectation that people will make appropriate preparations (such as closing doors, moving to an empty room or getting a pen and paper handy) before making or receiving a call.  Watch some TV drama from the 1980s or before and note the difference in people's attitude to telephone calls.

One thing I have noticed in recent years is that while people seem to have worked out that the microphone end of a slab-shaped smartphone should point towards their mouth, they haven't got the hang of pointing the speaker end towards a convenient ear, instead preferring to leave it in speakerphone mode and holding the slab horizontally pointing away from them.  This is probably unrelated to the equally fascinating process by which small children now mime telephone with a flat-B handshape, rather than the traditional Y.

[Jaded]

Speakerphone mode has to be set, it is not a default.

And its everyday use comes from The Apprentice, where it saves editing effort..

[Cudzoziemiec]

One thing I have noticed in recent years is that while people seem to have worked out that the microphone end of a slab-shaped smartphone should point towards their mouth, they haven't got the hang of pointing the speaker end towards a convenient ear, instead preferring to leave it in speakerphone mode and holding the slab horizontally pointing away from them.

I've noticed that too. Though of course equally often they're just talking over-loudly into an invisible something around their neck, supposedly attached to earphones.

This is probably unrelated to the equally fascinating process by which small children now mime telephone with a flat-B handshape, rather than the traditional Y.

Haven't noticed that. My childer are too big now!

[hellymedic]

Just had an email from British Gas stating their Standing Charge is going up by 44% from the end of May.

Bloody Hell!

I don't want a different tariff.

[ian]

I think I'm the only person left who gets up and goes to the vestibule to take a phone call. And it's bloody inconvenient when I'm busy murdering other passengers for putting their dirty fucking feet on the seats.

[fuzzy]

Speakerphone mode has to be set, it is not a default.

And its everyday use comes from The Apprentice, where it saves editing effort..

I blame the Gubbinsment. If they hadn't invented a law banning mobile phone use behind the wheel, drivers wouldn't have started using phones like that as an effort to get away with it.

[Polar Bear]

About a month back I ordered a transfer belt for a laser printer online.  They took my money and the nothing.  After much poking the pig finally stirred, admitted that they could not provide the item and refunded me.  Now the arseholes have started blitzing me with their special offer junk shit emails.

Cheek of the fuckers.

[barakta]

Threaten them with the GDPR, that seems to terrify everyone atm

[Polar Bear]

I have unsubscribed.  I'm looking forward to May 26th. 

[Beardy]

GDPR terrifies me at the moment and is causing me many sleepless nights, not least because I’m the lead on our business in its GDPR programme.

And just to add to my stress levels my eldest is getting married on 26th May and Dr Beardy (Mrs) is getting particularly wound up about the whole thing. If I’m not in a darkened room with underpants on my head, pencils up my nose and going wibble in the next two weeks I’ll be highly very surprised.

[arabella]

I think I'm the only person left who gets up and goes to the vestibule to take a phone call. And it's bloody inconvenient when I'm busy murdering other passengers for putting their dirty fucking feet on the seats.

Nope.
Though I have given up sitting in the 'quiet' carriage, as it is usually stuffed full of folks using audio equipment. 
rant: Yes I can b****y well hear it, your earphones are rubbish. 
One bloke even tried to tell me it was the no talking carriage, until I pointed to the sign he was sitting underneath...
otoh I sometimes find it uncomfortable being forced to hear the noise debris spilling out of multiple earphones, though I'm not sure there'a actually a solution, I am, for now, trying mind over matter.

[ElyDave]

I'd prefer trying a minigun, but I think it might be against company roolz

[CAMRAMan]

Fucking neighbours. The fence along our property line is literally falling down. It’s her fence. She asked us to trim off the clematis over it so she could have it replaced. We did, losing all this seasons flower buds and 75% of the plant. Now she she says she can’t afford the repair and will get it propped up. I’ve a good mind to kick it right over into her bloody garden. That clematis took 10 years to get that size.

We have a fence that is technically ours. However, the kids next door use it as a ball stopper during their football games, so it is battered to fuck. No way am I paying to replace it whilst that goes on. Mrs neighbour is not impressed, and even replaced a couple of sections last summer. Tough titties!

[Mrs Pingu]

Surely if Mrs Neighbour was that bothered she could put up her own fence inside the boundary to hide your fence

[Polar Bear]

What the fucking is up with humans since the invention of the smartphone? Why does that simple gadget turn homo-sapiens into inconsiderate unthinking Wanker? I am fucking bored of tapping the cunts on the shoulder,
smiling and closing their office door or knocking on their hotel room door and asking them to Shut The Fuck Up.

It's a phone you dick, a lump of technology whose long forgotten primary function is the transmission of the human voice to a remote location. It is not jewellery serving no practical purpose to wave around at arms length while bellowing loud enough to be heard 3 time zones away.

There is a phenomenon of old coffin dodgers stopping dead in their tracks in the middle of the pavement, pulling out their phones and holding it at arms length trying desperately to read the screen whilst it gurgles away announcing an incoming call or other notification.  They are so consumed in their little world that they are totally unaware of the chaos around them as a result of their unpredictable actions.  And many of these idiots also drive...   

[ElyDave]

What the fucking is up with humans since the invention of the smartphone? Why does that simple gadget turn homo-sapiens into inconsiderate unthinking Wanker? I am fucking bored of tapping the cunts on the shoulder,
smiling and closing their office door or knocking on their hotel room door and asking them to Shut The Fuck Up.

It's a phone you dick, a lump of technology whose long forgotten primary function is the transmission of the human voice to a remote location. It is not jewellery serving no practical purpose to wave around at arms length while bellowing loud enough to be heard 3 time zones away.

There is a phenomenon of old coffin dodgers stopping dead in their tracks in the middle of the pavement, pulling out their phones and holding it at arms length trying desperately to read the screen whilst it gurgles away announcing an incoming call or other notification.  They are so consumed in their little world that they are totally unaware of the chaos around them as a result of their unpredictable actions.  And many of these idiots also drive...   

Isn't that just people in general? Wandering around oblivious to others around them in a crowded place and then randomly doing something completely unexpected?

[hellymedic]

I learnt my lesson at around the age of eleven, when I walked into a tree whilst reading a comic.

I think there is something very compelling about moving, changing, coloured images and text.

I can only manage these things whilst seated firmly, facing my laptop, which is a great benefit to personal and public health and safety.

Others do manage to 'multitask', with rather variable success and some dramatic failures.

[Polar Bear]

What the fucking is up with humans since the invention of the smartphone? Why does that simple gadget turn homo-sapiens into inconsiderate unthinking Wanker? I am fucking bored of tapping the cunts on the shoulder,
smiling and closing their office door or knocking on their hotel room door and asking them to Shut The Fuck Up.

It's a phone you dick, a lump of technology whose long forgotten primary function is the transmission of the human voice to a remote location. It is not jewellery serving no practical purpose to wave around at arms length while bellowing loud enough to be heard 3 time zones away.

There is a phenomenon of old coffin dodgers stopping dead in their tracks in the middle of the pavement, pulling out their phones and holding it at arms length trying desperately to read the screen whilst it gurgles away announcing an incoming call or other notification.  They are so consumed in their little world that they are totally unaware of the chaos around them as a result of their unpredictable actions.  And many of these idiots also drive...   

Isn't that just people in general? Wandering around oblivious to others around them in a crowded place and then randomly doing something completely unexpected?

I find that he coffin dodgers just stop, turn to occupy as much of the pavement as possible, thrust out their phone to arms length and then adopt a pose which is unmistakeable.

Younger folk tend to carry on walking albeit mainly absorbed by the content of their gadget.

[hellymedic]

Phones and other devices with small screens are not very friendly to the presbyopic eye. Contrast is a problem in bright daylight, pupillary dilation reduces depth of focus when it's dark and Varifocals have tiny optical sweet spots.
Over 50s are probably not safe walking with smartphones but the profusion of apps encourages risky behaviour.

[CAMRAMan]

Surely if Mrs Neighbour was that bothered she could put up her own fence inside the boundary to hide your fence

She went to the lengths of getting a neutral neighbour to adjudicate that the fence was my responsibility. That's when I pointed out the holes in the fence caused by the football and the fact that I would not be subsidising her offspring's damage repairs.

[fuzzy]

Phones and other devices with small screens are not very friendly to the presbyopic eye. Contrast is a problem in bright daylight, pupillary dilation reduces depth of focus when it's dark and Varifocals have tiny optical sweet spots.
Over 50s are probably not safe walking with smartphones but the profusion of apps encourages risky behaviour.

My bold-

IME many of the target demographic are unsafe at many things, not just the example used. I will state that I am part of the stated demographic so could be speaking from experience.......

[CAMRAMan]

Brother: when I saw you last bank holiday, as I was leaving, I nearly tripped over the dodgy step at Mum's house. I was in a rush, but you promised to fix it. Lo and behold, Mum trips over said dodgy stair that you 'forgot' to fix on Thursday & had a trip to A&E. Luckily nothing broken, but I will fix it over the weekend, in case you 'forget' again. (I live 20 miles from Mum's home, he lives 500 yards away)