Author Topic: A random thread for small things that don't really warrant a thread of their own  (Read 2945204 times)

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Re: A random thread for small things that don't really warrant a thread of their own
« Reply #21575 on: 22 September, 2017, 11:16:08 pm »
I flew from Knock airport this week.  Quite why Knock needed an airport is beyond me, but it's the first airport in the Western world that I've approached on a single track road. 

Unfortunately I was flying Ryan air on my return, and to Luton, two things I will scrub from my mind for the next ten years. 
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

Re: A random thread for small things that don't really warrant a thread of their own
« Reply #21576 on: 23 September, 2017, 09:34:39 am »
I was searching on the internet for someone I know who does sheepdog trialling, and encountered this website.  At least they have a sense of humour.

Re: A random thread for small things that don't really warrant a thread of their own
« Reply #21577 on: 23 September, 2017, 11:08:42 am »
Anyway, as the obverse of 'speedy boarding' (nice wheeze, oh Easyjet), I do 'lazy boarding' which means I try to be the last person on the plane. I won on the way out, there was a tough moment when it was down to two of us, but he blinked first when the lady on the gate gave us the 'I know what you're doing look'

Unfortunately someone wrote about this in the Guardian a week or two ago. Being last on means you get to pick from the extra legroom seats which no-one wanted to pay £50 on top of the £10 ticket for, or the empty row of three from people who didn't turn up.

I've never understood this eagerness in passengers. The plane/boat/train is not going to leave or arrive any earlier because you've stood in a queue, even if you're at the front of it. It's the same on trains where people leap up to stand in the aisle from 8 km before the station, or on ferries so they can stand on the stairs for ten minutes then sit in the fumes of the car deck for a further twenty. Surely anyone who's flown once in their lives knows that "final call" means go and stand in a queue the plane's not landed yet, and "gate closed" means they'll start boarding soon. It's even better if you have hold luggage, they really, really don't want to empty the hold to make sure you've not put a bomb on board, so you can sit in the bar until the tannoy messages start to get a bit needy. Though if you wait until they start including your name you know you've probably pushed it a bit far.
Quote from: tiermat
that's not science, it's semantics.

Re: A random thread for small things that don't really warrant a thread of their own
« Reply #21578 on: 23 September, 2017, 11:49:11 am »
Must admit I only fly Ryanair to central France.  It's all relatively civilised.  The French airport is tiny, 12 years ago you could turn up, park the car (free) and walk onto the aircraft.  Sadly loads of other people cottoned on and now the parking is controlled and the usual baggage checks apply.  You can still park outside the airport but every so often the cops do a sweep and clobber all the freeloaders.  The car parks are also slowly filling up with weary looking UK vehicles with flat tyres.  Like Brexit, you pay to exit; they won't see their owners again. 
Move Faster and Bake Things

citoyen

  • Occasionally rides a bike
Re: A random thread for small things that don't really warrant a thread of their own
« Reply #21579 on: 23 September, 2017, 11:50:36 am »
I've never understood this eagerness in passengers. The plane/boat/train is not going to leave or arrive any earlier because you've stood in a queue, even if you're at the front of it.

It's about bagging space in the overhead lockers - which wouldn't be a problem if people weren't taking on massively oversized bags as hand luggage. It fucking annoys me that airlines aren't stricter about that.

What also fucking annoys me (and yes, I know this isn't the rant thread, sorry, but I've started so I'll finish) is at the end of the flight when they get up and start pulling bags out of the overhead locker before the plane has even stopped moving. I had a falling out with a fellow passenger once when he recklessly pulled his bag out, dragging other bags with it. It was only my swift reaction that prevented a large, heavy bag falling on the head of the woman sitting next to me. I'm not normally the kind of person to react to other people's rudeness (far too British) but I was furious, so had a real go at him. Unfortunately, it was another very awkward 15 minutes before we were able to actually get off the plane...

Quote
Though if you wait until they start including your name you know you've probably pushed it a bit far.

I did this once. Not on purpose, just sitting enjoying a drink in the departure lounge and underestimated how far it was to my gate...
"The future's all yours, you lousy bicycles."

Andrij

  • Андрій
  • Ερασιτεχνικός μισάνθρωπος
Re: A random thread for small things that don't really warrant a thread of their own
« Reply #21580 on: 23 September, 2017, 12:09:16 pm »
I flew from Knock airport this week.  Quite why Knock needed an airport is beyond me, but it's the first airport in the Western world that I've approached on a single track road. 

Because of the Basilica Shrine of Our Lady of Knock, Queen of Ireland.

Quote
Though it remained for almost 100 years a major Irish pilgrimage site, Knock established itself as a world religious site in large measure during the last quarter of the twentieth century, largely due to the work of its longtime parish priest Monsignor James Horan. Horan presided over a major rebuilding of the site, with the provision of a new large Knock Basilica (the second in Ireland) alongside the old church. Horan secured from Irish Taoiseach Charles Haughey millions of pounds of state aid to build a major airport near Knock. The project was condemned by critics in the media. At the time the Irish economy was in depression with massive emigration. Contrary to the critics' expectation however - and with the advent of low-fare and discount airlines - Horan International Airport (now known as Ireland West Airport Knock) is a commercial success, drawing not just pilgrims as passengers, and has become the air-gateway for the whole of Connacht.
;D  Andrij.  I pronounce you Complete and Utter GIT   :thumbsup:

T42

  • Apprentice geezer
Re: A random thread for small things that don't really warrant a thread of their own
« Reply #21581 on: 23 September, 2017, 01:02:27 pm »
Just saw our postie's new-fangled electrical delivery-van go by, on the back of a breakdown truck. Heigh ho.
I've dusted off all those old bottles and set them up straight

Paul

  • L'enfer, c'est les autos.
Re: A random thread for small things that don't really warrant a thread of their own
« Reply #21582 on: 23 September, 2017, 05:39:49 pm »
Surely you've now got a deputy head torch?
;D
What's so funny about peace, love and understanding?

Re: A random thread for small things that don't really warrant a thread of their own
« Reply #21583 on: 23 September, 2017, 06:47:24 pm »
I can confirm that the Royal Galleries at Buck House also disapprove of Leatherman Squirts :-(
Though the woman on security said it was lovely when she returned it.


Tomorrow nights gig is Zoe Keating, she’s just tweeted that BA have lost her cello between Düsseldorf & London  :facepalm:
Not fast & rarely furious

tweeting occasional in(s)anities as andrewxclark

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Re: A random thread for small things that don't really warrant a thread of their own
« Reply #21584 on: 23 September, 2017, 07:25:59 pm »
I flew from Knock airport this week.  Quite why Knock needed an airport is beyond me, but it's the first airport in the Western world that I've approached on a single track road. 

Because of the Basilica Shrine of Our Lady of Knock, Queen of Ireland.

Quote
Though it remained for almost 100 years a major Irish pilgrimage site, Knock established itself as a world religious site in large measure during the last quarter of the twentieth century, largely due to the work of its longtime parish priest Monsignor James Horan. Horan presided over a major rebuilding of the site, with the provision of a new large Knock Basilica (the second in Ireland) alongside the old church. Horan secured from Irish Taoiseach Charles Haughey millions of pounds of state aid to build a major airport near Knock. The project was condemned by critics in the media. At the time the Irish economy was in depression with massive emigration. Contrary to the critics' expectation however - and with the advent of low-fare and discount airlines - Horan International Airport (now known as Ireland West Airport Knock) is a commercial success, drawing not just pilgrims as passengers, and has become the air-gateway for the whole of Connacht.

That's why they have one, doesn't mean they "need" one. it's a pointless vanity project.
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: A random thread for small things that don't really warrant a thread of their own
« Reply #21585 on: 24 September, 2017, 07:21:12 am »
Anyway, as the obverse of 'speedy boarding' (nice wheeze, oh Easyjet), I do 'lazy boarding' which means I try to be the last person on the plane. I won on the way out, there was a tough moment when it was down to two of us, but he blinked first when the lady on the gate gave us the 'I know what you're doing look' (aka 'oi idiots').

I managed this a few years ago at LHR T5 when I sauntered up to gate Ann, as instructed by my boarding pass issued by a BA minion but a couple of hours previously, only to find there a big aeroplane going to Los Angeles.  I did not want to go to Los Angeles - not then and, frankly, not ever - and discovered that BA had snidily changed the gate to Cnn.  That required an undignified amount of physical effort to get to before they slammed the door in my face but I did eventually get to Denver on time and in budget.
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

Re: A random thread for small things that don't really warrant a thread of their own
« Reply #21586 on: 24 September, 2017, 11:15:22 am »

Tomorrow nights gig is Zoe Keating, she’s just tweeted that BA have lost her cello between Düsseldorf & London  :facepalm:


Yay. Cello found & on its way to Heathrow. :thumbsup:
Not fast & rarely furious

tweeting occasional in(s)anities as andrewxclark

Re: A random thread for small things that don't really warrant a thread of their own
« Reply #21587 on: 24 September, 2017, 11:50:00 am »
Anyway, as the obverse of 'speedy boarding' (nice wheeze, oh Easyjet), I do 'lazy boarding' which means I try to be the last person on the plane. I won on the way out, there was a tough moment when it was down to two of us, but he blinked first when the lady on the gate gave us the 'I know what you're doing look' (aka 'oi idiots').

I managed this a few years ago at LHR T5 when I sauntered up to gate Ann, as instructed by my boarding pass issued by a BA minion but a couple of hours previously, only to find there a big aeroplane going to Los Angeles.  I did not want to go to Los Angeles - not then and, frankly, not ever - and discovered that BA had snidily changed the gate to Cnn.  That required an undignified amount of physical effort to get to before they slammed the door in my face but I did eventually get to Denver on time and in budget.

Birmingham station.  We were told to leave the advertised platform and get over to another platform smartish because that's where our train was to re-routed.  So we did.  Minutes later we were told to get back to the original platform even more smartish as our train was drawing in there.  It's a good trick but keep it to April 1 please.

Quote
It's about bagging space in the overhead lockers - which wouldn't be a problem if people weren't taking on massively oversized bags as hand luggage. It fucking annoys me that airlines aren't stricter about that.

Mine's a small rucksack which stows under the seat.  Never got any brownie points tho'
Move Faster and Bake Things

Re: A random thread for small things that don't really warrant a thread of their own
« Reply #21588 on: 24 September, 2017, 12:43:49 pm »

Tomorrow nights gig is Zoe Keating, she’s just tweeted that BA have lost her cello between Düsseldorf & London  :facepalm:


Yay. Cello found & on its way to Heathrow. :thumbsup:


Where it appears they’ve lost it again.... :facepalm:


Julian Lloyd Weber used to book a seat for his, now you know why....
Not fast & rarely furious

tweeting occasional in(s)anities as andrewxclark

Cudzoziemiec

  • Ride adventurously and stop for a brew.
Re: A random thread for small things that don't really warrant a thread of their own
« Reply #21589 on: 24 September, 2017, 12:44:46 pm »
I thought the practice of booking a seat for cellos and double basses was more to prevent damage in cargo handling.
Riding a concrete path through the nebulous and chaotic future.

Tim Hall

  • Victoria is my queen
Re: A random thread for small things that don't really warrant a thread of their own
« Reply #21590 on: 24 September, 2017, 05:29:12 pm »
I thought the practice of booking a seat for cellos and double basses was more to prevent damage in cargo handling.
No, it's just a big fiddle.
There are two ways you can get exercise out of a bicycle: you can
"overhaul" it, or you can ride it.  (Jerome K Jerome)

Re: A random thread for small things that don't really warrant a thread of their own
« Reply #21591 on: 24 September, 2017, 06:53:45 pm »
I thought the practice of booking a seat for cellos and double basses was more to prevent damage in cargo handling.
No, it's just a big fiddle.

When it comes to puns YACF bows to no one.

Let's see how long we can string this theme out...
"He who fights monsters should see to it that he himself does not become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." ~ Freidrich Neitzsche

Re: A random thread for small things that don't really warrant a thread of their own
« Reply #21592 on: 24 September, 2017, 09:27:41 pm »
I’m happy to report that Zoe & her cello were reunited 2 hours before tonight’s excellent concert 👍🏻
Not fast & rarely furious

tweeting occasional in(s)anities as andrewxclark

Torslanda

  • Professional Gobshite
  • Just a tart for retro kit . . .
    • John's Bikes
Re: A random thread for small things that don't really warrant a thread of their own
« Reply #21593 on: 24 September, 2017, 11:38:10 pm »
Must admit I only fly Ryanair to central France.  It's all relatively civilised.  The French airport is tiny, 12 years ago you could turn up, park the car (free) and walk onto the aircraft.  Sadly loads of other people cottoned on and now the parking is controlled and the usual baggage checks apply.  You can still park outside the airport but every so often the cops do a sweep and clobber all the freeloaders.  The car parks are also slowly filling up with weary looking UK vehicles with flat tyres.  Like Brexit, you pay to exit; they won't see their owners again.

Belgarde? When I was last there about 4 weeks ago I noticed they've finally got rid of that old Peugeot 206, which had been parked up since '09.

Mind you, there's a 53 plate Astra estate that's starting to take root...
VELOMANCER

Well that's the more blunt way of putting it but as usual he's dead right.

ian

Re: A random thread for small things that don't really warrant a thread of their own
« Reply #21594 on: 25 September, 2017, 10:05:42 am »
I've never understood this eagerness in passengers. The plane/boat/train is not going to leave or arrive any earlier because you've stood in a queue, even if you're at the front of it.

It's about bagging space in the overhead lockers - which wouldn't be a problem if people weren't taking on massively oversized bags as hand luggage. It fucking annoys me that airlines aren't stricter about that.

What also fucking annoys me (and yes, I know this isn't the rant thread, sorry, but I've started so I'll finish) is at the end of the flight when they get up and start pulling bags out of the overhead locker before the plane has even stopped moving. I had a falling out with a fellow passenger once when he recklessly pulled his bag out, dragging other bags with it. It was only my swift reaction that prevented a large, heavy bag falling on the head of the woman sitting next to me. I'm not normally the kind of person to react to other people's rudeness (far too British) but I was furious, so had a real go at him. Unfortunately, it was another very awkward 15 minutes before we were able to actually get off the plane...

Quote
Though if you wait until they start including your name you know you've probably pushed it a bit far.

I did this once. Not on purpose, just sitting enjoying a drink in the departure lounge and underestimated how far it was to my gate...

On my flight (both leagues), they were making all the bags go in the hold from mid-way through boarding anyway as the lockers were already full. I don't know why people need all this crap, I can manage a business trip with a rucksack that fits under the seat. Airlines do seem to do a periodic run on bag sizes and then forget about it.

But yes, in general all the people who unbuckle and start pulling their bags out before we stop. In the old days, some BA cabin crew* would make everyone sit back down, nowadays, planes are staffed with 12-year-olds who live in a state of perpetual terror from prolonged exposure to stag and hen weekends. Anyway, idiots, you won't get off the plane any quicker so sit down and wait for the plane to stop rather than stagger around a moving plane with your oversize case.

*my wife's aunt used to be cabin director on Concorde before they both retired, so she spent a good period of her working life ordering posh people around. She could probably tell the Queen to sit.

Re: A random thread for small things that don't really warrant a thread of their own
« Reply #21595 on: 26 September, 2017, 09:31:34 pm »
Airlines do seem to do a periodic run on bag sizes and then forget about it.

Some people try to take the piss, and get away with it. At other times you see a mum and two kids and none of their bags fit in the measuring cage because of the wheels sticking out, and the stoney-faced airline person calmly telling her it's €50 per bag or leave them behind.

The guy that really made me laugh recently was a tradesman going back to Bulgaria and checking in a sports holdall but it was way overweight. So he started taking out a number of drills and other large tools and was trying to get them in his coat and trousers. They were trying to tell him he'd never get through security, but he was having none of it!
Quote from: tiermat
that's not science, it's semantics.

Kim

  • Timelord
    • Fediverse
Re: A random thread for small things that don't really warrant a thread of their own
« Reply #21596 on: 26 September, 2017, 10:10:54 pm »
The guy that really made me laugh recently was a tradesman going back to Bulgaria and checking in a sports holdall but it was way overweight. So he started taking out a number of drills and other large tools and was trying to get them in his coat and trousers. They were trying to tell him he'd never get through security, but he was having none of it!

The pre-9/11 world is a foreign country and they do things differently there, but I once carried about 6kg of AA batteries (plus Swiss Army Knife and assorted audio kit, including a very homebrew-looking binaural mic/preamp) through security at Gatwick in my coat pockets and they didn't even blink.

(At IIRC Lusaka I declared the SAK as instructed by a sign and got the now legendary "that's not a knife" lecture.)

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Re: A random thread for small things that don't really warrant a thread of their own
« Reply #21597 on: 26 September, 2017, 10:56:02 pm »
The guy that really made me laugh recently was a tradesman going back to Bulgaria and checking in a sports holdall but it was way overweight. So he started taking out a number of drills and other large tools and was trying to get them in his coat and trousers. They were trying to tell him he'd never get through security, but he was having none of it!

The pre-9/11 world is a foreign country and they do things differently there, but I once carried about 6kg of AA batteries (plus Swiss Army Knife and assorted audio kit, including a very homebrew-looking binaural mic/preamp) through security at Gatwick in my coat pockets and they didn't even blink.

(At IIRC Lusaka I declared the SAK as instructed by a sign and got the now legendary "that's not a knife" lecture.)

On return from my honeymoon in Sicily, I carried said SAK, plus 4 bottles of grappa and 6 or marsala as hand luggage in rucksack and newly purchased nice leather briefcase.  Not a fuck was given.

Last year my SAK got taken off me in Stavanger - it had a saw
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: A random thread for small things that don't really warrant a thread of their own
« Reply #21598 on: 26 September, 2017, 11:23:53 pm »
Nobody batted an eyelid when I had my Leatherman Micra in my bumbag on the way to Israel a couple of years ago. I only realised it was there after I arrived. Don't know if the blades are too small but I won't chance it again!

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: A random thread for small things that don't really warrant a thread of their own
« Reply #21599 on: 27 September, 2017, 03:48:54 am »
I'm currently putting off the moment when I have to divide my Stuffs into two separate Teetering Piles of Crap according to which bag they will return to Blighty in.  And waiting for the kettle to get its act together for my penultimate cup of tea on USAnian soil.  Take THAT, so-called Homeland "Security".
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime