Author Topic: Befuddling Child Utterances (Read 204464 times)

pcolbeck · « **Reply #950 on:** 09 March, 2017, 03:08:59 pm »

Mrs Pcolbeck to a group of 10 year olds today. Write down what you can expect to see on our school trip to Whitby next week (bearing in mind that they had discussed Whitby and looked at pictures the previous day).
One child wrote "cows, chickens, pigs and the little mice" and when asked to at least describe these unlikely denizens of a seaside town they changed it to "cows,chickens, shiny pigs and the little mice".

Butterfly · « **Reply #951 on:** 19 March, 2017, 09:30:15 pm »

I was upstairs puting the laundry away.
N: "Mum, someone has posted some letters".
Me: "Thanks N".
A bit later I went down to no sign of any post.
Me: "I thought you said there were some letters N, where are they?"
N: "I posted them back out".

Sure enough, there was the post, sitting on the path outside. Good thing it was a dry day!

clarion · « **Reply #952 on:** 29 March, 2017, 09:50:16 am »

A while ago, but repeated in various forms:

'Don't be silly, daddy, potatoes can't talk - they don't have eyebrows!'

Cudzoziemiec · « **Reply #953 on:** 29 March, 2017, 10:00:46 am »

But they do have eyes!

Vince · « **Reply #954 on:** 01 April, 2017, 03:15:52 pm »

Boy Wunja^[1]: We've got another gig^[2] in Birmingham this time.
Me (Jokingly): Is that a back street pub or the NEC
Boy Wunja: The NEC.... What is the NEC?
Me: errrrrr.

[1] OK, I know he's not a child any more.
[2]*Turns out to be providing background entertainment at a video game convention.

fuzzy · « **Reply #955 on:** 02 April, 2017, 11:22:44 pm »

Not befuddling but very satisfying-

From sproglet looking through my telescope- "Wosat shiny light?"
After checking the alignment of scope was still on target "That is Mercury"
Sproglet- "Wos Merkery?"
Fuzzy "Mercury is another planet"
Mum! Mum! "Nuther planet mum! Wow- I can see another planet!"

hellymedic · « **Reply #956 on:** 02 April, 2017, 11:35:52 pm »

Awaiting David's return from local Stargazing event.
Will see if any of the kids said anything entertaining.
Last night one of the adults asked if there were filters that could enable folk to see through the clouds...

Kim · « **Reply #957 on:** 02 April, 2017, 11:44:13 pm »

Quote from: hellymedic on 02 April, 2017, 11:35:52 pm

Last night one of the adults asked if there were filters that could enable folk to see through the clouds...

"Come over to the light side....radio astronomy."?

Butterfly · « **Reply #958 on:** 21 April, 2017, 11:28:37 pm »

There was a discussion where my friend said that she'd found a spider with a bottom made from a baked bean (woodlouse spider). N, very seriously "My brother has a bottom like a cooked potato".
Later on he revised that to "baked potato" with much glee. The brother in question says he's not going to add it to his cv

mrcharly-YHT · « **Reply #959 on:** 23 April, 2017, 02:41:41 pm »

Mother "When you take pans of food into the kitchen, can you put the lids on the pans"
Teenchild "I did put the lids on"
Mother "No you didn't, I just put the lids on"
Teenchild "When I said put the lids on, I meant that I knew you would put the lids on."

That's trumpesk doublespeak, that is.

ElyDave · « **Reply #960 on:** 24 April, 2017, 08:24:28 am »

daughter to carer looking after our son

"Oh, you're wearing a camouflage top. I didn't notice that"

Butterfly · « **Reply #961 on:** 13 June, 2017, 09:49:17 pm »

I gave N some basil to sniff. His verdict: "It smells... liquidy"

Kim · « **Reply #962 on:** 13 June, 2017, 10:01:44 pm »

Washing-up liquidy?

Butterfly · « **Reply #963 on:** 13 June, 2017, 10:47:06 pm »

Quote from: Kim on 13 June, 2017, 10:01:44 pm

Washing-up liquidy?

Possibly, since it lives on the windowsill above the sink. He might think that.

Basil · « **Reply #964 on:** 13 June, 2017, 11:14:06 pm »

At this point, I'd like to assure that I had no involvement in the above.

Butterfly · « **Reply #965 on:** 14 June, 2017, 07:21:12 am »

Quote from: Basil on 13 June, 2017, 11:14:06 pm

At this point, I'd like to assure that I had no involvement in the above.

Do you not smell liquidy?

T42 · « **Reply #966 on:** 14 June, 2017, 07:40:06 am »

Time to roll out my favourite Audax photo:

That stuff will kill you.

Cudzoziemiec · « **Reply #967 on:** 14 June, 2017, 09:14:37 am »

Audaxer rides up to the bar: Pint of basilade, please!

Mr Larrington · « **Reply #968 on:** 14 June, 2017, 11:25:22 am »

That reminds me of the old Billy Connolly routine about the Scotsmen in Rome drinking what the Pope drinks.

"Two pints o' creme de menthe, eh Jimmy!"

Legs · « **Reply #969 on:** 14 June, 2017, 11:38:12 am »

Andrew pointed to the cat as we were departing for nursery this morning.

"You're not allowed in the car, Fuzzy, because it doesn't have a cat-flap!"

jsabine · « **Reply #970 on:** 15 June, 2017, 02:24:28 am »

That's very heartwarming, naming your pets after posters here.

fuzzy · « **Reply #971 on:** 15 June, 2017, 05:57:52 pm »

Legs · « **Reply #972 on:** 16 June, 2017, 08:09:24 am »

Quote from: fuzzy (retd.) AAGE on 15 June, 2017, 05:57:52 pm

Fuzzy, who was 9 on Tuesday, rather predates my involvement in yacf.

mrcharly-YHT · « **Reply #973 on:** 23 June, 2017, 09:47:07 am »

My niece (in Australia) is getting married in a few days. She's a primary school teacher, and her teaching prac student organised her class to write some words of 'marriage advice' for her.
Here are some gems:

"Yell at your husband every night to make sure he is doing the right thing."

"Make sure you don't drop any drink on your husband's toes."

"Make sure you are very loving and don't talk to your husband like you are at school "DO YOUR WORK""

"If you have a baby make sure he is always fed but not too fat."

hellymedic · « **Reply #974 on:** 23 June, 2017, 10:59:41 am »

Those last two seem very wise...