The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread

[T42]

Seriously though, our ability to (normally) stay put when asleep is impressive.  Legacy of tree-dwelling apes, presumably.

Our parrot's even better. Trees are obviously a factor.

<BING!!!>  The answer: forget beds, climb trees.

[citoyen]

As I frequently observe, the sooner someone works out how to turn the gravity down in bed the better.  It would be a lot more convenient than detachable arms, which would also help.

Detachable arms would improve my sleep comfort no end.

[Beardy]

Having too many arms in bed is a bit like tinnitus, neither are a problem until you notice, then all of a sudden you can’t think about anything else.

[Auntie Helen]

As I frequently observe, the sooner someone works out how to turn the gravity down in bed the better.  It would be a lot more convenient than detachable arms, which would also help.

Detachable arms would improve my sleep comfort no end.

Mine too, I find them such a nuisance!

[Mrs Pingu]

Not just me that wakes with a hand full of numb sausages then?

[Kim]

Usually after a nightmare about being bitten by dogs or similar.

[Mr Larrington]

Forgot to change the time on the clock in the Estate Office

[Mrs Pingu]

I haven't changed the time on the oven because I think you have to turn it off and back on again, which is stupid.

[ian]

I slowly rotate like I'm in some kind of somnambulistic rotisserie.

[Feanor]

Unlikely. Wot is the oven?

Ovens with six-button timer modules seem to be one of two types:

1: Hold down the two left-most buttons whilst using the two right-most as time +/-;
2: Hold down the button immediately to the left of the right-most two (usually has a hand symbol), whilst using the two right-most as time +/-.

If it has a proprietary touch-button thing, then yea, all bets are off.
Probably needs the app.

[Mrs Pingu]

6 buttons would be an extravagance, ours has 3. I'm pretty sure that was the only option in the manual, but I CBA looking right now.

[quixoticgeek]

As I frequently observe, the sooner someone works out how to turn the gravity down in bed the better.  It would be a lot more convenient than detachable arms, which would also help.

Agreed. Having to go through the four stages of grief most mornings at the prospect of having to contend with gravity is most irksome.

Yesterday I rolled over in bed and smashed my face into the bed side table. Seems I had taken a diagonal orientation across the bed and hadn't realised it.

J

[Polar Bear]

6 buttons would be an extravagance, ours has 3. I'm pretty sure that was the only option in the manual, but I CBA looking right now.

Ours likewise.  I am relatively proficient at operating ours because I regularly use the inbuilt countdown timer when baking.  Changing the time usually takes me three or four attempts though.

[Mr Larrington]

I actually managed to change my watch to BST without resorting to reading TFM this year, which is likely a first.

[L CC]

BST is the only good use of the internet for appliances.

[Mr Larrington]

Just checked my router’s BST setup.

Which was Wrong.  At both ends.

Grrr

[Tim Hall]

6 buttons would be an extravagance, ours has 3. I'm pretty sure that was the only option in the manual, but I CBA looking right now.

Ours likewise.  I am relatively proficient at operating ours because I regularly use the inbuilt countdown timer when baking.  Changing the time usually takes me three or four attempts though.

Three buttons here. Icons are plus sign, clock thing, minus.

Press the clock thing and watch the display, cycle through duration, end time, (arrow icons with vertical lines), countdown timer (bell icon) to reach (flashing) clock (clock icon). Adjust time with plus and minus buttons. Leave it for a few seconds, clock icon goes solid, showing the right time.

[Kim]

I've found that setting the clock on the oven has become easier over the years, as I waste less brainpower remembering the arcane button combinations to set other clocks.

Since I put the microwave on a smart plug that power-cycles it at 13:01 every day to keep the atrociously inaccurate clock in sync, I think it's literally just the oven and the bike computers, and 5 of the bike computers are the same model.

[Cudzoziemiec]

Our old oven, a posh kiwi Fisher & Paykel, which the landlord removed as part of a general refurb, had an arcane button sequence to reset the clock. The new one, a cheapo Beko, has reset automatically, so I guess it's got some internet connection somewhere. Probably it's sending a record of all our cooking back to Beijing and/or Cupertino. But the new oven is a bit crap at cooking. It also claims that if the clock is not set, it will not do any oven duties, which is pointless and stupid and crap, if true.

Meanwhile the microwave (which, in contrast to the oven, is a Bosch) does not auto-reset but is easy to reset via a clock-icon situated between "start" and "stop" (which are written as words, so FOREIGNS just have to learn ENGLISH or, erm, use the oven) and a friendly round twiddly knob.

[Kim]

The algorithm for DST (at least in places like the EU and USAnia where we haven't meddled with it for decades, and naive engineers might assume that will continue for the lifetime of their product) isn't particularly complicated, all the device needs is to know the date as well as the time.  Our fire alarm adjusts itself for DST automagically, and its only connection to the outside world is via a couple of relays^[1].

The other way to do it would be to use a radio clock receiver.  MSF broadcasts a DST-is-about-to-happen flag for the benefit of clocks with little BRANEZ.

Unintuitively, while NTP and GPS are excellent ways to obtain accurate time, neither of them know anything about timezones or DST.  They just give you UTC or GPS time accordingly.  Of course, devices that use those as time source tend to be a bit more computationally capable, and can hold something like tzdata in their firmware to look up the appropriate conversion factor.  Bonus points for keeping that lookup table up to date over the internet.  Negative points for relying on an internet-of-shit company's server as the only way to set the clock, or for hard-coding the IP address of an innocent public NTP server, so some university or ISP is inadvertently DOSed by thousands of toasters.


_{[1] One for "Something's on fire!" and one for "STFU!"}

[Cudzoziemiec]

Why does your fire alarm know the time?

[Kim]

Why does your fire alarm know the time?

So it can:

A) Change its behaviour according to time of day.  For example, a combined thermal/optical sensor in a workshop might have its optical part enabled outside of business hours, or staged evacuation would be skipped if the building is ostensibly empty.

B) Timestamp the activation/fault log.


Slightly disappointingly, given that its power supply is relatively advanced (it provides the application processor with battery charging diagnostic parameters and reports the presence of a mains supply), it doesn't appear to synchronise its clock to mains frequency.  I suppose these things are supposed to have annual inspections by someone who knows how to set the clock, thobut.

[T42]

Ate a rather suspect slice of Serrano last night and duly heaved my dinner into the jarrie back of midnight.

[citoyen]

I haven't changed the time on the oven because I think you have to turn it off and back on again, which is stupid.

That was a feature of our old oven. Fortunately the new one (well, four years old now) allows you to adjust the time without turning the power off.

[Cudzoziemiec]

Our old oven, a posh kiwi Fisher & Paykel, which the landlord removed as part of a general refurb, had an arcane button sequence to reset the clock. The new one, a cheapo Beko, has reset automatically, so I guess it's got some internet connection somewhere. Probably it's sending a record of all our cooking back to Beijing and/or Cupertino. But the new oven is a bit crap at cooking. It also claims that if the clock is not set, it will not do any oven duties, which is pointless and stupid and crap, if true.

Meanwhile the microwave (which, in contrast to the oven, is a Bosch) does not auto-reset but is easy to reset via a clock-icon situated between "start" and "stop" (which are written as words, so FOREIGNS just have to learn ENGLISH or, erm, use the oven) and a friendly round twiddly knob.

No! Mrs Cudzo now tells me she did it. I had misunderstood her the other day. Probably she told me before breakfast...