Yet Another Cycling Forum

Off Topic => The Pub => Topic started by: rogerzilla on 19 November, 2012, 08:42:43 pm

Title: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: rogerzilla on 19 November, 2012, 08:42:43 pm
Let's see if we can get all 270 stations.  This is going to be corny, you can Bank on it.
Title: Re: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: perpetual dan on 19 November, 2012, 08:47:16 pm
270? That would be a Monument to yacf punnery.
Title: Re: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: rogerzilla on 19 November, 2012, 08:53:13 pm
I was Maida Vale when I thought this up.
Title: Re: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: perpetual dan on 19 November, 2012, 08:57:15 pm
Not just your usual Barking self then?
Title: Re: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: Basil on 19 November, 2012, 09:01:44 pm
BANK!

Oh sorry.  Wrong game.
Title: Re: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: hatler on 19 November, 2012, 09:02:01 pm
Only 270 ?  I thought there were Morden that.
Title: Re: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: rogerzilla on 19 November, 2012, 09:02:43 pm
Being such a Cockfosters bad feelings, Basil.
Title: Re: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: Wowbagger on 19 November, 2012, 09:13:59 pm
I can resist everything but Temple Station.
Title: Re: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: COG on 19 November, 2012, 09:15:05 pm
If any girl's doll can think of a pun, Barbican.
Title: Re: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: rogerzilla on 19 November, 2012, 09:15:41 pm
Has thighs like Marble, Arch does.
Title: Re: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: Wowbagger on 19 November, 2012, 09:17:06 pm
Euston if you want to; the lady's not for stoning.
Title: Re: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: rogerzilla on 19 November, 2012, 09:17:38 pm
Wowbagger's chess advice is to trumpet like an Elephant and Castle as early as possible.
Title: Re: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: COG on 19 November, 2012, 09:19:02 pm
i do not think I can Stanmore of these puns.
Title: Re: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: rogerzilla on 19 November, 2012, 09:19:26 pm
Apple users think Steve Jobs was a Saint, Pancras problems notwithstanding.
Title: Re: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: orienteer on 19 November, 2012, 09:19:59 pm
Just a Ruislip of the tongue
Title: Re: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: David Martin on 19 November, 2012, 09:20:35 pm
Your'e doing so well you need some applause. Put your hands together and clapham south and clapham north of the border.

Needing some coal delivered? Colliers wood be a good idea.

How does a chinaman answer the phone?
(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: rogerzilla on 19 November, 2012, 09:20:42 pm
The trouble with Sustrans paths is that there's always one Moorgate.
Title: Re: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: Wowbagger on 19 November, 2012, 09:23:02 pm
Wowbagger's chess advice is to trumpet like an Elephant and Castle as early as possible.

That would involved the Kings Crossing over the rooks but it's best if they don't get in the Queensway.
Title: Re: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: Wowbagger on 19 November, 2012, 09:24:13 pm
Warren Street, by Leo Tolstoy.
Title: Re: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: rogerzilla on 19 November, 2012, 09:27:28 pm
These days, mentioning Militant Tendency tends to make Hatton Cross.
Title: Re: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: Wowbagger on 19 November, 2012, 09:29:58 pm
I'm trying to recall the sport for which the Tory prime minister was a leading exponent. Did he sail or did Heathrow?
Title: Re: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: Wowbagger on 19 November, 2012, 09:39:22 pm
Despite threatening to haunt David Cameron, it would appear that Claire Rayner's lain peacefully in her grave.
Title: Re: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: Wowbagger on 19 November, 2012, 09:41:04 pm
Mornington Crescent!
Title: Re: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: Jurek on 19 November, 2012, 09:57:12 pm
You want to be careful, playing a move like that so early in the evening. The theydon bois will be after you.
Title: Re: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: Wowbagger on 19 November, 2012, 10:36:34 pm
The leader of the Theydon Bois is a Loughton no mistake.
Title: Re: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: Ham on 19 November, 2012, 10:40:45 pm
I'm sure Prince Phillip plied her with too many G&Ts - I saw the Queensway
Title: Re: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: Ham on 19 November, 2012, 10:43:11 pm
The edge of her dress starter to fray and they had to Pinner up.
Title: Re: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: Ham on 19 November, 2012, 10:44:29 pm
I saw an old mate the other night, I got too drunk to remember anything but everyone is saying Sydenham had a good time
Title: Re: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: Ham on 19 November, 2012, 10:45:46 pm
And there was that week I spent in amsterdam with Syd, he did me a favour and warned me off this prostitute I fancied, said to me, "You'll get the Clapham"
Title: Re: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: Ham on 19 November, 2012, 10:47:04 pm
He also told me to have a holiday in scotland, particularly the islands, he said "You'd love the isle of Lewisham"
Title: Re: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: Ham on 19 November, 2012, 10:49:07 pm
He couldn't believe it when I wanted to learn how to make horseshoes.   "I don't believe it, Hammersmith?" he said

someone pleeeeese stop me
Title: Re: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: cygnet on 19 November, 2012, 10:50:41 pm
Since his scientology revelations, I've always thought of Tom Cruise as a bit of an arse Holborn on the the 4th of July was quite good though.
Title: Re: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: Wowbagger on 19 November, 2012, 10:59:43 pm
Arch's baby elephant must weigh Alperton. Since it ran into me I've had North Ealing in my legs. My Neasden work as well as they Euston Road rides.
Title: Re: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: Wowbagger on 19 November, 2012, 11:10:47 pm
Alan Clark wrote in his diaries that he found Margaret Thatcher attractive, but there is no record of him giving an opinion on Gillian Shepherd's Bush. Another cabinet minister used to give the PM chocolate-coated peanuts - Kenneth Baker Street.
Title: Re: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: StuAff on 19 November, 2012, 11:18:14 pm
Audax riders have to be bright eyed and Bushey tailed.
Die Hard can be a bit corny in places, but Rickmansworth it. Gospel Oak truth.
Title: Re: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: Pedaldog. on 20 November, 2012, 01:45:17 am
I went to the Red Light district in Soho and had a looksee if I coud Pick a Dilly!
Title: Re: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: orienteer on 20 November, 2012, 11:56:33 am
iPhone 4 users were happy enough, but the iPhone5 seems to Turnham Green with envy.
Title: Re: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: Jaded on 20 November, 2012, 12:20:12 pm
Just went to see my dad's sister. Osterley poor o' sis.
Title: Re: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: Andrij on 20 November, 2012, 12:23:33 pm
someone pleeeeese stop me

Do you recall that time you were lost and no one could agree on directions?  Some people were saying "Go East, Ham" and others insisted "Go West, Ham".
Title: Re: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: orienteer on 20 November, 2012, 12:31:26 pm
Despite the tourniquet, Dutchman Wimbledon.
Title: Re: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: Woofage on 20 November, 2012, 12:57:43 pm
New lesbian version of famous production: Seven Brides for Seven Sisters
Title: Re: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: rogerzilla on 20 November, 2012, 01:28:07 pm
The trouble with winter cycling is all those extra clothes.  The Paddington really slows you down uphill.
Title: Re: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: Palinurus on 20 November, 2012, 04:39:31 pm
As I was scanning the unread posts I saw "the Velvet Underground bad pun thread"

-great idea for a thread- I thought. Then I looked again.
Title: Re: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: slowfen on 20 November, 2012, 04:48:10 pm
Give YACFers an inch and they'll take a Mile End
Title: Re: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: rogerzilla on 20 November, 2012, 07:46:22 pm
Boris wants to build a polluting airport, but Kensal Green.
Title: Re: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: hellymedic on 20 November, 2012, 08:16:01 pm
I can't get a word in Edgware!
Title: Re: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: rogerzilla on 20 November, 2012, 08:19:02 pm
I claim to be a famous racing cyclist, but Amersham.
Title: Re: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: rogerzilla on 20 November, 2012, 08:21:17 pm
My parents never bought new chip pan oil so we ended up with Blackfriars.
Title: Re: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: rogerzilla on 20 November, 2012, 08:22:03 pm
Pussy Galore was Bond Street at the end of Goldfinger.
Title: Re: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: hellymedic on 20 November, 2012, 08:22:22 pm
Bad puns can be as Dollis Hill.
Title: Re: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: jogler on 20 November, 2012, 08:28:09 pm
I'll no longer do work in London.It's Morden I can be bothered with,I can't Stanmore
Title: Re: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: rogerzilla on 20 November, 2012, 08:30:08 pm
The Queensway too old for cycling.
Title: Re: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: jogler on 20 November, 2012, 08:30:26 pm
We use a lot of drywall fixings so I keep the Stockwell up of those.
Title: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: Biggsy on 20 November, 2012, 09:08:45 pm
I'm going to try body paint.  Wood Green be a good colour for my Arsenal that?
Title: Re: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: Woofage on 20 November, 2012, 11:40:46 pm
the builder drew up his list: 2 tons of Brix, ton of concrete...oh, better fix the Aldgate.
Title: Re: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: Wowbagger on 21 November, 2012, 12:38:57 am
The International Union of Sex Workers held their annual Body Painting Competition in London. Despite the introduction of rules strictly preventing unseemly displays of celebration, in the Metallic Finish event the Goldhawk Road after she won first prize.
Title: Re: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: Wowbagger on 21 November, 2012, 12:44:51 am
I'm afraid that Louis Armstrong won't be performing his number one hit single at this evening's performance because Dollis Hill.
Title: Re: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: Biff on 21 November, 2012, 01:21:52 am
Outside the Manor House stood a Colliers Wood, in which could be found a Burnt Oak, inhabited by an Angel who, if disturbed by the Royals Victoria and Albert would Turnham Green.
Title: Re: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: Psychler on 21 November, 2012, 12:10:41 pm
I always thought shandy was only made with lemonade but apparently it's also Maida Vale
Title: Re: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: orienteer on 22 November, 2012, 01:44:07 pm
My Jaffa Cakes keep disappearing, don't know who's been Ickenham.
Title: Re: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: lundergrounder on 03 December, 2018, 10:36:59 pm
The other day, Donald and I were out on the boating lake, rowing a boat. I rowed at first, but it was tiring. When I was Dundonald Road. (I know, that's Tramlink, but the more the merrier!)
You wanna get married? Sure, as long as it's not in (a) Whitechapel.
There used to be two parts to this hall: the Upper Hall and the Lower Hall. One day, a crane came and took the Upper Holloway, so now only the Lower Hall remains. (That's London Overground!)
I like taking pictures. I took one of the Aldgate, then of the Archway. I especially want to take Moorgate and Moor Park pictures.
Title: Re: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: toontra on 03 December, 2018, 10:49:27 pm
My Jaffa Cakes keep disappearing, don't know who's been Ickenham.

It's a Fairlop, ocifer.
Title: Re: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: lundergrounder on 09 December, 2018, 07:13:24 pm
I Maida Vale able (made available) many different puns.
Title: Re: The London Underground bad pun thread
Post by: rogerzilla on 09 December, 2018, 07:45:19 pm
I saw that Philip Green park his yacht in Monaco.