Author Topic: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)  (Read 1206824 times)

Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #15150 on: February 19, 2013, 09:35:41 am »
Oh, and another thing. A bike made before 1990 is not "Vintage".

Bah!

Good point! Nor does the fact it has survived until now make it desirable, so calling it rare ir such like implying it is worth something is complete tosh (btw this isnot personal :)) a lot of dross was made, some of it built to last.

It's probably not going to be long now before we see "classic, vintage" MTBs being sold in "rare, original condition" that are "highly sort after" (sic). The bike in question actually being an early 2000s full suspension Apollo that was ridden once and then resided in a dry garage for a decade.

Guy

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Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #15151 on: February 19, 2013, 03:36:58 pm »
Government IT :P :-\ ??? :facepalm:

GAAAAHH!!!!! >:(
I ATEN'T DEAD

Regulator

  • Got a thing for rubber...
Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #15152 on: February 19, 2013, 04:07:56 pm »
Government IT :P :-\ ??? :facepalm:

GAAAAHH!!!!! >:(

I feel your pain....

My NHS mail access has been locked - again.  Fourth time in two days.  :facepalm:
Quote from: clarion
I completely agree with Reg.

tiermat

  • According to Jane, I'm a Unisex SpaceAdmin
Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #15153 on: February 19, 2013, 04:14:46 pm »
Government IT :P :-\ ??? :facepalm:

GAAAAHH!!!!! >:(

I feel your pain....

My NHS mail access has been locked - again.  Fourth time in two days.  :facepalm:

One of the first things "Just call me Dave" did when he got into power was order a review of Govt. IT projects.

He then went on to can the majority of them (not sure of the percentage, but it was more than just one or two).

Get ready to return to the stone age, you do remember how to write internal memos, don't you? Oh, and use the internal mail system? Problem with that is that most of the internal inter-site mail services have been canned or cut back too.

I have a nice, friendly pigeon that you can have, on loan, if you want it :)
I feel like Captain Kirk, on a brand new planet every day, a little like King Kong on top of the Empire State

Regulator

  • Got a thing for rubber...
Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #15154 on: February 19, 2013, 04:43:40 pm »
Government IT :P :-\ ??? :facepalm:

GAAAAHH!!!!! >:(

I feel your pain....

My NHS mail access has been locked - again.  Fourth time in two days.  :facepalm:

One of the first things "Just call me Dave" did when he got into power was order a review of Govt. IT projects.

He then went on to can the majority of them (not sure of the percentage, but it was more than just one or two).

Good.  there were lots of them that were absolute crap!

Perhaps they can now concentrate their resources on getting what they've got in place to work properly?

Quote
Get ready to return to the stone age, you do remember how to write internal memos, don't you? Oh, and use the internal mail system? Problem with that is that most of the internal inter-site mail services have been canned or cut back too.

I have a nice, friendly pigeon that you can have, on loan, if you want it :)

Slight exaggeration I think.
Quote from: clarion
I completely agree with Reg.

tiermat

  • According to Jane, I'm a Unisex SpaceAdmin
Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #15155 on: February 19, 2013, 05:00:36 pm »
Government IT :P :-\ ??? :facepalm:

GAAAAHH!!!!! >:(

I feel your pain....

My NHS mail access has been locked - again.  Fourth time in two days.  :facepalm:

One of the first things "Just call me Dave" did when he got into power was order a review of Govt. IT projects.

He then went on to can the majority of them (not sure of the percentage, but it was more than just one or two).

Good.  there were lots of them that were absolute crap!

Perhaps they can now concentrate their resources on getting what they've got in place to work properly?

I wouldn't count on it, as part of the cutting back on IT spend they adopted a "Make do and mend" approach to currently in place systems.

Quote
Quote
Get ready to return to the stone age, you do remember how to write internal memos, don't you? Oh, and use the internal mail system? Problem with that is that most of the internal inter-site mail services have been canned or cut back too.

I have a nice, friendly pigeon that you can have, on loan, if you want it :)

Slight exaggeration I think.

Only slight, but it's so slight it might be difficult to see from a distance.  No I am not joking, honestly.  Well ok, I might be joking about the pigeon bit, the cats ate them all.
I feel like Captain Kirk, on a brand new planet every day, a little like King Kong on top of the Empire State

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #15156 on: February 19, 2013, 05:08:05 pm »
We were awoken by another fucking spam caller today.
CLID 0161*******

ICO report sent.

I've LARTed two text spammers today.

Don't suppose it'll make any difference...

interzen

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Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #15157 on: February 19, 2013, 05:45:40 pm »
LOOK WHERE YOU'RE GOING, YOU STUPID BITCH!

Being hit by 18 stone of cyclist is going to hurt, but not nearly as much as coming off and sliding 10 feet down the sodding road.

 >:(

Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #15158 on: February 19, 2013, 10:00:28 pm »


It's probably not going to be long now before we see "classic, vintage" MTBs being sold in "rare, original condition" that are "highly sort after" (sic). The bike in question actually being an early 2000s full suspension Apollo that was ridden once and then resided in a dry garage for a decade.
[/quote]

Spot on my friend - I saw a Marin advertised as "Classic vintage old skool" Looked circa 1991 from the pictures and spec. For pities sake, whatever next ? "Classic vintage rare barn find Giant Defy for sale" 

Double bah!

Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #15159 on: February 20, 2013, 06:18:12 am »
Oh, and another thing.

Don't let me catch a single one of you using the self-scan check outs at your local Tesmart.

I was stood in a queue the other day when this week's "Checkout Champion" approached me to advise me that it my be quicker if I used the self-scan. I rather grumpily replied that it may also be quicker if she as "Checkout Champion" sat her fat arse down behind one of the many empty tills and actually served people rather than poncing about the end of the isles trying to persuade us all to use a furhter device implementated by the profitmeisters to reduce staff headcounts.

I mean FFS, they'll have us re-stocking the shelves next.

You dare,.....you just dare.

jogler

  • mojo operandi
Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #15160 on: February 20, 2013, 06:57:01 am »
Oh, and another thing.

Don't let me catch a single one of you using the self-scan check outs at your local Tesmart.





You dare,.....you just dare.


TOO LATE
btdtgtts (actually Marj has)

& as for shelf stacking:some folk without employment & income may be glad of doing some shelf stacking

Regulator

  • Got a thing for rubber...
Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #15161 on: February 20, 2013, 08:25:29 am »
Dear Paddypowerbingo.com

It's bad enough the you and your ilk infest the airwaves with your incessant adverts for online bingo.  That I can forgive - just about (because I am a charitable person who doesn't believe in the death penalty - otherwise you'd be toast).

But your latest noisome and fetid offering goes a little too far.  We know that some of the weaker willed of our fellow plebs might be attracted by the concept that they could indulge their desire to lose their hard earned money (or benefits) by playing bingo on a mobile phone.... but do you really think it was appropriate for one of your "actors" (and I use the word loosely, because gurning and pretending to be happy isn't exactly displaying Gielgudesque skill) to be shown using her hand-held mobile phone whilst behind the wheel of a car?  Do you?  Do you really think it is a good idea to demonstrate to the less intelligent of your 'bingo-heads' (and, yes, I know that isn't your terminology - it's one of your competitors') the possible commission of a criminal offence?

Well, you'll be pleased to know that I shan't just be sitting here and fulminating.  I shall be despatching a formal missive of complaint to the ASA.  I hope they cut your balls* off!







*Bingo, of course, as I am (as previously mentioned) a charitable person who doesn't believe in violence. 
Quote from: clarion
I completely agree with Reg.

Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #15162 on: February 20, 2013, 09:07:47 am »
LOOK WHERE YOU'RE GOING, YOU STUPID BITCH!

Being hit by 18 stone of cyclist is going to hurt, but not nearly as much as coming off and sliding 10 feet down the sodding road.

 >:(

This

x 1000

Particularly prevalent in several places on my commute, not helped by the fact that I work in a tourist area.  Particular places to watch are:-

Just after St James Park station, on Tothill Street.  The zebra crossing outside the station is fine - decent sight lines.  But pedestrians can't possibly walk a few more feet to the crossing - no, they will pop out from behind parked cars the other side of the roundabout, where the taxi rank is in the middle of the road.  Proved my brakes work, though sideways on a Brompton is not advised.  Take this one carefully these days, but often there is a taxi behind you, and I am trying to get through to the part of the road which is nice and wide so that they can pass.

Westminster Bridge.  The cycle/bus lane is not a good place to stand to take a photo of Big Ben or the Eye.  Please also remove the legs of your tripod from the cycle lane - get a better lens for f*cks sake.  You have a pavement twice the width of the bus lane, is that not room enough?  Joggers are generally okay, as they tend to be running in the cycle lane contra to your direction, and hop back on the pavement, mostly.  If there's room. 

The cut through for buses and cycles after Belvedere Road, just before the Park Plaza Waterloo.  People crossing never look behind them to see if anything is turning left, they just look to the right at the filter for buses from the Lambeth Palace Road.  Usually involves shouting on my part.  Better than Belvedere Road though, generally, as up on the pavement and filtering between the planters, then weaving in between people walking in the middle of the road, is generally the worst of the two options.  Because the road is closed to most cars with a barrier, people don't look at all.  Plus taxis like to do u-turns the other side of the barrier as you pop out by the London Eye.

Generally avoid anyone with white headphones.  :facepalm:

OK - rant over.      ;)



Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #15163 on: February 20, 2013, 10:33:28 am »
...
& as for shelf stacking:some folk without employment & income may be glad of doing some shelf stacking
Yeah, but shelf stacking for Poundland WITHOUT BEING PAID FOR IT?

I think not.
"A woman on a bicycle has all the world before her where to choose; she can go where she will, no man hindering." The Type-Writer Girl, 1897

Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #15164 on: February 20, 2013, 10:57:27 am »
In our local small Tesco, it is almost always faster to go through a manned checkout than through the self service ones.

I do like the Morrisons self checkouts, but only because they have a coin hopper that you can drop change into, rather than feeding them into a slot at Tescos. This is a good way of getting rid of all the small change that accumulates - in the past I've paid >£15 with nothing larger than a 20p. It takes a while though.

Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #15165 on: February 20, 2013, 12:16:59 pm »
Vodafone, I want to TALK to somebody, not listen to some damned recording of a woman pretending to be cheerful trying to sell me products on your "customer service" line. Customer service, you know, where a CUSTOMER wants some SERVICE. If I wanted to listen to recordings I have my mp3 collection.


And whilst you are at it, how about sorting out my son's online account access? It's been THREE WEEKS since we told you it was borked.

interzen

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Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #15166 on: February 20, 2013, 02:39:26 pm »
I do like the Morrisons self checkouts, but only because they have a coin hopper that you can drop change into, rather than feeding them into a slot at Tescos. This is a good way of getting rid of all the small change that accumulates - in the past I've paid >£15 with nothing larger than a 20p. It takes a while though.
Sainsbury's are the same, or at least the one near work is - I prefer to pay with coinage as the note reader doodads seem to be excessively prone to random hissy-fits when faced with a slightly crumpled tenner.

Never thought of the self-checkouts as being a useful way of disposing of accumulated shrapnel, though - shall have to remember that (I currently have around £70 of loose change bagged up and ready to go to the bank  :demon:)

barakta

  • Bastard lovechild of Yomiko Readman and Johnny 5
Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #15167 on: February 20, 2013, 05:41:12 pm »
I can't make self checkouts work.

*scan item*
"put your item in the bag"
*does that*
"Put your item in the bag"
*pick up item and return it to bag*
"Put your item in the bag"
*Throw item on bag to try and make it register the damned thing*
*Staff have to come over and nobble the machine*

Rinse, repeat for every single fucking item and usually the machines refuse to handle payment properly either cos their touchscreens are crap or something else.

I can't hear the beeps and all the machines bleating in that godawful TTS voice all sound like the one I'm using and while there is screen feedback it's out of synch.

Hate hate hate them.  I don't usually try.  A friend has complained to her local sainsburys as she's dyspraxic and can't make them work at all, they will usually open a till for her if she asks.

ian

  • fatuously disingenuous
    • The Suburban Survival Guide
Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #15168 on: February 20, 2013, 06:00:41 pm »
Leisure centres. Firstly, you're not a leisure centre. By definition you are full of people sweatily unleisuring themselves. If leisure made people skinny and healthy then I'd be sitting at home becoming little more than human-shaped upholstery for a substance comprising mostly smoky bacon crisps and cupcakes. But no, I'm swimming my daily fifty lengths. This is not leisure.

Secondly, term time and half-term. This is not an ISO standard. I don't know when term time is. The only people who know when term time is are parents and sex offenders. I am neither. Especially when there appears to be different half-terms depending on schools. So how about you simply use dates on timetables rather than 'term time' and 'half-term'? Then I wouldn't have to swim super-extra fast to get my fifty lengths in before you inexplicably close the pool. That was even more unleisuring than normal and I have no cupcakes to compensate.
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Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #15169 on: February 20, 2013, 06:14:55 pm »

& as for shelf stacking:some folk without employment & income may be glad of doing some shelf stacking

Agreed, but that wasn't what I meant.

They get us filling our own cars with petrol, they get us to weigh our own goods, they get us to park the trollies, they get us to scan and pack our own shopping and Tescos now even ask you to scan your own Clubcard. My point was I wouldnt be surprise if they start asking customers to replenish anything that they take off the shelves whilst shopping.

Are thay passing on any savings in headcount to us the customer ?

Are they buggery, just enjoying larger profits and acting like black-market spivs trading in horse meat.

Bah !

Kim

  • An appetite for the epic, but no real stamina
Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #15170 on: February 20, 2013, 06:15:37 pm »
Secondly, term time and half-term. This is not an ISO standard. I don't know when term time is.

Half term's when the traffic becomes mysteriously less bad for a week.
Watching the TV without subtitles is like riding up a hill without using the gears :)

Jaded

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  • Formerly known as Jaded
Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #15171 on: February 20, 2013, 06:32:04 pm »
Are thay passing on any savings in headcount to us the customer ?

Are they buggery, just enjoying larger profits and acting like black-market spivs trading in horse meat.

Their net profit margin is 4%.

I don't think it has changed much over the years.
If you don't like your democracy, vote against it.

Morrisette

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Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #15172 on: February 21, 2013, 09:50:28 am »
Don't get me started on self-service tills. Just don't! 'Unexpected item in the bagging area'. Yes, morons, that would be...A BAG. FFS.
Not overly audacious
@suffolkncynical

Si_Co

Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #15173 on: February 21, 2013, 11:53:03 am »
<snip> now even ask you to scan your own Clubcard.

<snip>

There is a downside for Tesco, eg when some muppet sticks the Mrs' clubcard in the receipt slot of the fuel pump, has a brain wave that to get it back simply request a receipt for the fuel, <brilliant thinks muppet>, receipt requested, brief sound of printing followed by snapping of plastic. Pump now out of order.  :-[

Re: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)
« Reply #15174 on: February 21, 2013, 01:15:21 pm »
Don't get me started on self-service tills. Just don't! 'Unexpected item in the bagging area'. Yes, morons, that would be...A BAG. FFS.

I find self-service tills quite cathartic. I shout back at them.

"YOU STUPID MACHINE IT SHOULDN'T BE UNEXPECTED I JUST SCANNED THE FUCKING ITEM!"

I've told Sainsbury's that I'll stop swearing when their machines have a mute button.  ;D
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