Lyrics that make you grin (or frown...)

[Redlight]

Dylan - can't even remember the song, but something like:

I said, they said that to Jesus
They said, you're not him

Oh, and you still can't beat Joe Jackson's

Pretty women out walking with gorillas down my street

[Pingu]

Dylan - can't even remember the song, but something like:

I said, they said that to Jesus
They said, you're not him

You know they refused Jesus too?
He said, you're not him

Bob Dylan's 115th Dream

[haydenw]

Chaka Demus & Pliers - Tease Me

"I will never forget the first time we kissed It's like striking goal, catching a big fish"

[Jaded]

I want the future now,
I want to see it on the screen,
I want to break the bounds
that make our lives so mean.

[Jaded]

"Excuse me while I suck your blood,
excuse me when I phone you,
I've got every one of your records, man,
doesn't that mean I own you?"

[bobb]

"That's a lousy life for the washed up wife of a permanently plastered, pissed up bastard"

Baddie's Boogie - Babyshambles

[Wowbagger]

My dislexia jean kicked in when I glanced at this thread title and I momentarily though it said "Lycra that makes you grin (or frown)..."

[Exit Stage Left]

This is a song to all my friends
They take the challenge to their hearts
Challenging preconceived ideas
Saying goodbye to long standing fears

Don't crack up
Bend your brain
See both sides
Throw off your mental chains

I don't wanna be hip and cool
I don't wanna play by the rules
Not under the thumb of the cynical few
Or laden down by the doom crew

It's getting 'Challenging preconceived ideas' into the rhyme scheme without it becoming a ponderous Sting-style song that makes me smile. That and the memory of the dancer with the type of plastic chains you see in suburban gardens.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FagjnIgUk6Q

[Mr Larrington]

And the devil asked me to supper
He said "Careful with the spoons"
And God said "Oh ignore him
I've got all your albums"
And I said "Yes, but who's got all the tunes?"

When I Was Dead ~ Robyn Hitchcock.

[CAMRAMan]

"Underneath the shade of the Average Tree,
Where they handed out mediocrity,
I saw you with Alchemy under your arm,
Standing in the middle of a loooooong queue"

A Lilac Harry Quinn - HMHB

"The singer out of Slipknot went to Rome to see the Pope, (repeat to the tune of Glory, Glory Hallelujah)
And the Pope said to his aide:
'Who the fucking hell are Slipknot, (repeat)
In relation to me getting out of bed?'"

Vatican Broadside - HMHB

[CAMRAMan]

So you found a girl who thinks really deep thoughts,
What's so amazing about really deep thoughts?,
Boy, you'd best pray that I bleed real soon,
How's that thought for you?

Silent All These Years - Tori Amos

[matthew]

From Bob Dylan's "Masters of War"

Let me ask you one question
Is your money that good
Will it buy you forgiveness
Do you think that it could
I think you will find
When your death takes its toll
All the money you made
Will never buy back your soul.

Though I think it should also be quoted at the investment bankers.

The preceeding verse also strikes home:

How much do I know
To talk out of turn
You might say that I'm young
You might say I'm unlearned
But there's one thing I know
Though I'm younger than you
That even Jesus would never
Forgive what you do.

[Toady]

Robyn Hitchcock.

Nice choice Mr L.  I'd struggle to choose one Hitchcock lyric that makes me grin (or frown...)  I'll go for:

Please don't call me Reg.  It's not my name. 
(Not yet)

[pcolbeck]

Stop that dope smoking, stop that masturbation
Take the Lord into your heart and stop that fornication
We're building us an army, gonna knock out Satan
Visa or Mastercard, our operators are waiting

Drive by Truckers - Too much sex (too little Jesus)

Not sure why but it always makes me grin.

[Mrs Pingu]

It's wrong to wish on space  hardware.

+1

[Biff]

Mike Oldfield - 'Moonlight Shadow'

Four a.m. in the morning,
Carried away by a moonlight shadow

As opposed to four a.m in the evening? Just grates.

[Deano]

How many lyrics 'work' as plain text?

Seeing this thread I thought of a few I like, but I hear them in the context of the tune and the backing.

I bought a "Book of Classic Lyrics" type book once (for about tuppence), and it left me completely cold (apart from about 5 from songs I already knew). Can't help thinking that if I quote some of my favourites, they'll come across the same way - just bad poetry, or pointless ramblings.
Often it's just cos you don't the right phrasing off the page. Lines look like they don't scan, but sung right, they do!

[sorry to be such a downer, man!]

It's a good point. Has anyone ever read Jim Morrison's poetry?

They all make sense within the song, though, so it's worth finding them if you don't know 'em.

[Deano]

"Distant cousins, there's a limited supply. And we're down to the dozens, and this is why. Big-eyed beans from Venus. Oh my oh my."

Captain Beefheart and the Magic Band - Big-Eyed Beans from Venus

 

[Peter]

Happy Memories!  I saw Beefheart at the Go-Go in Newcassel in about 1968.

[Moleman76]

A few lines which a college roommate dislexitized, so whenever I hear them I think of him:

" and there's a wino down the road " ( and as we wind on down the road )

" bopper Ann, bop bop bop bopper Ann " (Barbara Ann)

[rogerzilla]

This one's very rude, but is a singalong classic with a trombone accompaniment.

(click to show/hide)

Snuff - Arsehole

What an arsehole
What a fucking wanker
What a toss-pot ,a toe rag ,a fart in a jar

I've been dreaming
a dream that keeps recurring
Turn the corner you're there
Turns into a nightmare
Wake with a shout

I'm an arsehole
I'm a fucking wanker
'cos I can't get to grips with what the fuck you're about

I'm an arsehole
I'm a fucking wanker
I'm a toss-pot BASTARD a toe rag FUCKWIT fart in a jar

we're all arseholes
We're a bunch of wankers
We're a bunch of toss-pots FUCKWITS toe rags GOBSHITES farts in a jar

You're all arseholes
You're a bunch of wankers
You're a bunch of toss-pots FUCKWITS toe rags WETWIPES farts in a jar

We're all arseholes
We're a bunch of wankers
We're a bunch of toss-pots FUCKWITS toe rags GOBSHITES farts in a jar

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/dG_YDUEWSHo&rel=1" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/v/dG_YDUEWSHo&rel=1</a>

[CAMRAMan]

"I heard a lovely rumour,
That Bette Midler had a tumour,
So gleefully I went to tell my friends,
But they said it was a lie
And she wasn't going to die
'And by the way, have we got news for you',
And they told me that the man I had always known as Dad
Hadn't met my Mum when I was born
And they told me that I am
But I hope to god I'm not
The Bastard son of Dean Friedman."...

And they mocked me in my mocks
And embroidered in my socks
"the Bastard son of Dean Friedman"

I was at The Robin2 in Bilston on 15/9/2010 at a HMHB gig, when a large, bearded gentleman appeared on stage. None other than Dean Friedman. A good sport, as well as a cheesy 70s singer.

[rogerzilla]

A few of Shaun Ryder's finest:

The Pope he got the Nazis
To clean up their messes
In exchange for gold and paintings
He gave them new addresses

Well I might be the honky,
But i'm hung like a donkey

Everybody on this stagecoach likes robbin' and bashin'
Big blacks and blonds smokin' miles and miles of hash
That's sweet, the bigger the tree the better the time

[Ham]

How many lyrics 'work' as plain text?

Seeing this thread I thought of a few I like, but I hear them in the context of the tune and the backing.

I bought a "Book of Classic Lyrics" type book once (for about tuppence), and it left me completely cold (apart from about 5 from songs I already knew). Can't help thinking that if I quote some of my favourites, they'll come across the same way - just bad poetry, or pointless ramblings.
Often it's just cos you don't the right phrasing off the page. Lines look like they don't scan, but sung right, they do!

[sorry to be such a downer, man!]

It's a good point. Has anyone ever read Jim Morrison's poetry?

They all make sense within the song, though, so it's worth finding them if you don't know 'em.

I like spotting lines that feel like the rest of the song is built around - squeeze are great for those, like at the end of  Is that Love?:

The more you more you more you cool down / The easier love is found  - a great couple of lines that must have started the song

Take me I'm yours / Because dreams are made of this  again. the whole song is clearly written around those two lines

[CAMRAMan]

I love the lyricism of Squeeze. Labelled with Love's my favourite. However, some of their lines do grate:

I got a job with Stanley
He said I'd come in handy

That feels like they were just in a hurry when writing Up the Junction, though it doesn't feel too out of kilter with the rest of the lyrics.