The Grumble Thread - No energy for a full on rant.

[TheLurker]

Why do I feel so utterly miserable all of a sudden? I feel like someone unplugged the sump of my happeh  reservoir and it's gone empty in the last hour.

Blood sugar crash.   Eat more chocolate or cake, or chocolate _and_ cake.

[Mrs Pingu]

<not grumble> full of macaroni cheese n leek n bacon. Burp!

[hellymedic]

It seems my email account has been hacked and has been sending out much spam.
I've been locked out of access to my account and rest my password.
Chap on Helldesk didn't know radio alphabet and pronounced 'Sierra' like 'sharer' which confused me.

Apologies to anyone who's been spammed.
I understand from London Edinburgh London OTP I am not alone; another victim is also with <spit> BT.

[Kim]

My trousers don't fit. None of them. The size#lardy ones are faaaaar too big round the waist (like, falling embarrassingly down while walking, too big) and the size#slightlylesslardy are too tight around my Hoy-thighs. The size#normal ones are still too small.

This is the normal state for trousers, surely?  I use thigh-sized trousers with a belt.  It's almost comfortable, and does at least mean people keep asking if you've lost weight.

It's the cycling-specific stuff that has no excuse.  Endura, I'm glaring at you.  It's great that practical things like your 3/4 baggies go up to size #slightlylesslardy, but it would be nice if they had enough room around the thighs to actually operate pedals while wearing them.  I bought a set at the York Rally a couple of years ago, wandered around the field in them for a weekend, then discovered the ludicrous restriction around the quads on the ride home.   

[arabella]

Why do I feel so utterly miserable all of a sudden? I feel like someone unplugged the sump of my happeh  reservoir and it's gone empty in the last hour.

Blood sugar crash.   Eat more chocolate or cake, or chocolate _and_ cake.

light bulb goes on

This is the normal state for trousers, surely?  I use thigh-sized trousers with a belt.  It's almost comfortable, and does at least mean people keep asking if you've lost weight.

agreed.  except that the falling-down-trousers-style with belt looks strange (or I expect it does, but I don't have a mirror to check).  Instead of which my colleagues get a covered-up-by-jersey view when changing my shoes.

trousers are designed for people with jelly* (tick) and no leg muscles (not-tick)

*"mmm, jelly..." quoth younger guy, patting said jelly in affection

[Guy]

I've told you before there's nothing unexpected about your errors. What I would like to see is the dialogue box which says "This page has unexpectedly worked!!!" but that implies you doing what you're told first time and that ain't gonna happen anytime soon. Is it.

Great steaming bucket of FAIL

[Mr Larrington]

• Building!  Close that sodding window!  It's ten degrees cooler outside than this time yesterday and now I'm in a draught.
• EDF!  Your on-line meter reading submission wossname is brain-damaged.  You've already got my gas meter reading coz the gas meter lives in a box attached to the wall under the outside of the kitchen window.  You only need my electrickery meter reading.  But your stupid webby SCIENCE insists on both.  I didn't make a note of my gas meter reading because your gribley has already read the meter.  You are a pack of civet cat clunges, and your webby SCIENCE people need to be sent to the camps for re-education with a cluebat.

[Pingu]

Herring bricked roads
The Netherlands has hundreds of thousands of miles of the damn things and every one of them sets up resonant vibrations in the bike that develop into a force that saps energy from moving you forward.

The ones I hated most are the paths paved with square block setts where the sand underneath has moved to the extent that every one you ride over rocks as you go over it, sapping your speed/energy; making an alarming tinkling noise and leading you to wonder when you're going to ride over one that rocks so much that the next block will act like a kerb and flip you over the bars.

I seem to remember lots of stretches of that along this cycle lane: http://goo.gl/maps/74QIS

Off road routes in Germany which have small hexagonal setts with holes in the middle through which grass grows 

[GothonaBrompton]

Worked out why my rear Skully light wasn't working any more when I replaced the CR2032 batteries.  If you held the switch (the nose of the skull) in, the lights worked, when you released, it stopped working.  As if it wasn't making contact.

I checked my online order and realised I ordered CR2025 batteries, which look exactly the same, but are thinner.

I'm not using the light much at the moment as it is daylight now on the way home, but I do sometimes use when it is overcast.  And it was bugging me.

Note to self: check the details before placing order, as the picture of the packet looks exactly the same.

[hellymedic]

Button cells like CR2032 have a number which specifies the dimensions:

2032 = diameter 20mm, vertical height 3.2mm.

A sad geek.

[hellymedic]

Dear Wheelchair Service,
Thank you for supplying my new wheelchair. Unlike my old wheelchair, it is too heavy for me to manhandle it through my front door so I can't leave my house alone if I use it.
The 'pedals' between the rear wheels which are suppose to raise the castor wheels to climb a kerb or step are positioned such that the leverage is insufficient to raise them at all. This means I have to go backwards and allow far more time to cross a road. Given the timing of local pelican crossings, this is downright dangerous.
The web address on the last letter you sent me is out of date.
The phone number was correct but I really need to speak to a Real Human, not a fucking machine. At 2.30pm on a Monday afternoon, I really do not think this is unreasonable.
Mum has asked that I use my old wheelchair when we next go out together.
I'd really like to like my new chair but right now it only seems like a waste of NHS cash and clutter.

[Bledlow]

Button cells like CR2032 have a number which specifies the dimensions:

2032 = diameter 20mm, vertical height 3.2mm.

A sad geek.

Ain't just button cells. Where do you think the designation 18650 for common Li-ion cells comes from?

[hellymedic]

I don't buy Li-ion cells, I do buy button cells...

[Dibdib]

MegaCorp doesn't do cycle to work scheme. I want an n+1 :-(

[CAMRAMan]

Yahoo Mail. I use you as I have a lovely address that is easy to share. Generally, you keep me satisfied. Now, however, when I access you via the iPad I am prompted to use your app to access my mail. Every, bleedin' time. I don't want to use it, so there. Even if I did, your link takes me to the Apple store, but not specifically to your app. Amateurish.

[Mr Larrington]

Yahoo! Mail! Has! Been! Behaving! Particularly! Gittishly! Recently!

Just download the damn' thing into Thunderbird and let me decide whether it's an important message advertising the impending publication of the fourth volume of Doug Nye's history of BRM or a Bunch of Arse.  Srsly,  I can set up filters.

The only things I hate more than Tuesdays are Mondays.  And Fridays.  And Thursdays and Wednesdays.  Come to that, Saturdays and Sundays aren't that brilliant either, because I spend most of them asleep.  Fuck this BigCo and the horse it rode in on.  I'm looking...

[jogler]

I have another flat on the back wheel of the Longstaff.It's deflated whilst just standing in the garage

[Vince]

I bought a new chain for the Bianchi a couple of months ago. Could I find it this morning? No chance. I looked in the spares box, emptying most of it out. I looked in the cycle tool box. I looked all over the bench; in the tool box again; I cleared everything off the bench; looked in the spares box; etc.

It finally, finally turned up after a couple of hours searching in the spares box, the first place I had looked. Is there a tool fairy who moves tools and components around when you aren't looking?

(It was in a silver packaging, not black as I remembered!

[Zipperhead]

I know how to tell when I'm getting old - if I find myself riding along in the back seat of a car and I read out loud every single sign that we pass.

Grrr

[CAMRAMan]

EDF: You put up my direct debit by £32 without asking me. You did that in the middle of a very harsh winter, based, I assume, on my energy usage at that time. I also assume that that was a ruse to get me to build up a massive credit balance over the next 6 months so you could earn interest on it. I don't like that idea. So when I call you to revise the direct debit amount, you tell me I have to clear my (small-ish) balance first. I don't like that idea either, especially as the direct debit amount you are taking will easily clear that within a few weeks. I wasn't in the mood to argue with you today, but, rest assured, I will call you next month when the balance is cleared and reduce the DD amount drastically.

And another thing or two: get your operatives to speak during very long silences so I know they are not filing their nails in the meantime and buy them some decent headsets so I can hear them and not what's going on in the background.

I can't see this being a long-lasting relationship, tbh.

[Somnolent]

Dear DPD
I'm so pleased that you have invented a new type of internal combustion engine that enables your delivery van to run without putting any CO₂ into the atmosphere, but I'm buggered if I'm going to click the link to your marketing bollox to find out how you did it.
And just WTF is a "sortation hub" ?

[Biggsy]

I think they mean they'll plant a few trees to offset the carbon, but they could use electric vehicles charged off windmills, or cyclists eating food made by windmills.  I don't think DPD have any EVs in the UK yet.  DHL does.

[GothonaBrompton]

TNT have delivery bicycles in London .....

[Dibdib]

if they're spectacularly lazy they could just be buying CO2 certs to offset their usage, thus allowing them to claim to be "carbon neutral" without putting any extra effort in whatsoever.

[Arch]

I think they mean they'll plant a few trees to offset the carbon, but they could use electric vehicles charged off windmills, or cyclists eating food made by windmills.  I don't think DPD have any EVs in the UK yet.  DHL does.

We use an electric truck for collections, powered by our windmill, and solar panels*. Also, Maximus trikes mostly powered, via our legs, by pasties and noodles.

But given that our truck currently manages a range of about 6 miles at 10mph, I'm not sure we're ready to take on worldwide deliveries, unless we have some very patient clients and/or a very long extension lead.

*not entirely powered by renewables sadly, we do draw off the grid. But I do coast downhill with the motor off whenever I can...