Yet Another Cycling Forum
General Category => The Knowledge => OT Knowledge => Topic started by: Russell on 27 January, 2011, 08:17:13 pm
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My son is experiencing problems with another student in his shared accomodation. He is quite regularly using my son's food, juice, ham, mayo most things in fact. He denys it of course.
Is it possible to spike the food with something very hot or bitter to prove a point? Bitrex would be ideal but seems that it is not available to the public.
What would work in a non lethal fashion?
He is a very regular "smoker" but the landlord needs to catch him at it to evict and so far he has managed to see the landlord's agent coming and spray air freshner around in time.
Thanks
R
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Epicac? :demon:
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Capsaicin? :demon:
You can get 'pure' capsaicin from places that sell hot sauces and the like, and it only takes a little to make something damn near unpalatable. Failing that, I suppose that mixing some hot sauce (I'm thinking 'Dave's Insanity Sauce' or similar) into a jar of mayo might well do the trick without obliterating too many of the perp's taste buds ;)
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He'll have to judge the perpetrator's character though to gauge likely reaction - you want to 'teach him a lesson' not escalate into food war with the fridge a battle zone.
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Although this is everyday student behaviour, it is criminal.
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Suggest he changes degree to Chemistry, Microbiology, Pharmacology or similar. For some reason people never seem to meddle with those students' food...
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Dodgy.
I was about to post a suggestion involving the use of a couple of drops of something medicinal (albeit not orally administered) available over the counter, which would guarantee several days of the imbiber being spent on or near the toilet (or worse).
Is that really what you/he wants?
If reasoning with his sharer is out of the question (as I'm sure it might be) could a small (in his room) fridge not be a solution?
Revenge taking place at its unidentifiable leisure....
Meanwhile, let's crack on with teh evils, folks :demon:
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methylene blue
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My son is experiencing problems with another student in his shared accomodation. He is quite regularly using my son's food, juice, ham, mayo most things in fact. He denys it of course.
Is it possible to spike the food with something very hot or bitter to prove a point? Bitrex would be ideal but seems that it is not available to the public.
What would work in a non lethal fashion?
He is a very regular "smoker" but the landlord needs to catch him at it to evict and so far he has managed to see the landlord's agent coming and spray air freshner around in time.
Thanks
R
I would recommend buying his own mini fridge to keep in his own room as maybe the only real solution. It would be awesomely funny to spike stuff with things that cause diarrhoea or just a horrible burning sensation like chilli power though ;D
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I feel terribly sensible here but I feel that you, as his parent, have to advise him not to do anything daft and create a war.
It's an inevitable thing in shared flats, unfortunately. Could he suggest everyone buy food together? Or yes, keep it in his room.
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Sadly the only solution for this sort of stuff that really works is not to live with cockwombles. Part of that may include accepting that some of your friends come into that category. :-\
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What does cheep cider look (and taste) like?
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ISTR wasabi is easy to disolve in juice.
As for smoking, the standard is to sub in menthol's for the offender's normals.
Not sure what to advise on ham and mayo although a bit of time spent in the kind of wholefood shop that sells but the gram should suffice. You don't just have to go with burningly hot revenge, any overdone spice flavour will suitably impact on a would be food theif.
In the mean time, subsidise your offspring with a few freezer packs and a small chiller box for the bedroom will keep him secure from the tainted food.
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Are there potential legal problems for deliberately spiking food you are expecting someone to eat?
Assault?
ABH?
Something to be wary of IMO
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Laxative.
I used to know a guy who was a very imaginative and vindictive practical joker. His flatmate used to make sandwiches the night before and leave them in the fridge overnight. My friend would replace the filling with a mixture of vaseline and curry powder.
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Sadly the only solution for this sort of stuff that really works is not to live with cockwombles. Part of that may include accepting that some of your friends come into that category. :-\
Utterly tru.
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I wrote "I hope your teeth turn black" on my toothpaste tube once as a student. That worked. Maybe messages between the slices of ham as a starter?
I knew someone that wrapped cheese in bacon to keep thieving veggies off, but that may not help here.
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Sadly, post-it notes on the cheese saying "I lick my cheese" are normally added to with the words "So do I" and then nobody eats the cheese. Avoid the war, buy the mini-fridge and be safe in the knowledge that the thieving dickhead is having to contribute to the cost of the electricity to run the extra fridge.
Either that or get a secret videocam, get the evidence and report him for knocking off your fridge goodies to the relevant authorities. Or film him smoking etc.
What a pleb though eh? >:(
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Not so much spiking food, but leaving unlabelled things in there and only revealing later what they were might work. My cousin visited last weekend and was desperately hoping for some of the chocolate mousse - until I explained that it was actually minced raw liver mixed with pet food and cod-liver oil! ;D
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Small fridge freezer for his room. That was my successful solution as a student nurse. :)
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Dont take offence to this anyone, but tell him to tommy tank in the mayo(or just say he did) and tell the lad when he notices its been used. Go up in abit of a shock asking if he has had any because some was put in there with human product in for science/biology but he didnt think to mark it up.
Or, just put a note on saying that if anyone touches the food they better have some nice stuff to take in swapsies.
If it was me and i thought i could take him, id have him against a wall. My food is my food. If i dont offer it you keep your hands off. Or i'll take your food or whatever else you have i might like. Tell your son to take the lads pillow, hide it 'for a laugh' then take another pillow 'for a laugh' then if he doesnt stop, the mattress goes somewhere.
After all, he takes food and probably thinks its funny, so take his sleeping stuff.
Never been to uni though, at work theres a certain respect for peoples things. You dont touch other peoples food and only touch the milk in the fridge after asking someone if you can borrow some.
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All good stuff! Keep it coming please.
As for a fridge in his room - you haven't seen how small it is!
Cider - now there's an idea!!
;)
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Placenta sausage? (https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=43280.0)
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Isn't there an anti smoking drug that makes you feel sick when you smoke?
Champix or something like that.
Double win.
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Some people are just too selfish and immature to live with reasonably. I've shared with more than my fair share of them when I was at university. The mini-fridge-in-room solution worked well when I was in halls with complete shits on my floor.
I never got round to spiking my food with laxatives (that would be one of the best ideas, maybe with stashing the boll roll first in his own room). Urine also looks fairly similar to orange squash, and it's very satisfying to watch your victim drink it, even though it's diluted. Don't ask me how I know this.
Unfortunately the lowest common denominator wins this kind of thing and it can get very unpleasant. Things can and do escalate, but the alternative is just to be a victim. Find a laxative. He needs not to be seen avoiding using his own stuff though.
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Biohazard stickers with "I just made friends with a biologist/chemist/biochemist - test this at your own risk".
Food colouring of obscene colours.
Actual spiking with aforementioned ideas.
I'd report him for smoking anyway, air freshener doesn't actually work and it's downright unpleasant. I lived with housemates that smoked despite the contract AND their neighbour being an asthmatic who got quite ill from it :(
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Phenylpthalene;
instant and severe diahorrhea ;)
Didn't some famous US author spike his milk with LSD to find out who kept stealing it?
(the old lady two floors up apparently)
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There's nothing he can do about it apart from writing passive-aggressive notes and sticking them to his food, which his flatmate will ignore.
I wouldn't try to get him evicted though - wouldn't that leave your son liable for excess rent? It certainly did us when one of our housemates just upped and left.
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Revenge Plan Part I
Spike the food with laxatives.
Revenge Plan Part II
Hide the bog roll.
Either that, or buy lots of tinned food and a few tins of dog food.
Remove all the labels from the tins and arrange the tins so that you know which is which, or you could just re-arrange the labels so that they are all coded, eg beans = peas. Get some spare labels for the dog food tins, something like steak stew and discard the labels from the dog food.
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When I was in halls of residence in first year at uni the fridge was useless as whatever you put in there was instantly plundered. In fact some guys I know actually had their roast chicken stolen from the oven just before it was ready to take out and eat!
I resorted to keeping a bit of milk in a sink of cold water in my room, and I kept my butter outside on the window ledge. One day the person in the room on the floor below me came up and said there was melted butter running down his window in the sun ;D
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My story on this subject...
My friend now works in IT at a big Scottish financial institution.
When he was a college student in Edinburgh, he stayed in a shared student flat. One flatmate was extremely irritating, and a miser to boot. Said flatmate would buy foodstuffs in bulk at the start of term, and eat his way through them during term.
One thing he did was to buy catering sized plastic tubs of margarine. One term, having finally annoyed friend beyond reason, said flatmate left an ice cream tub sized margarine pack in the fridge. In the dead of night, margarine block was removed and a poo deposited in the bottom. Margarine replaced, and job done till the end of term and an awful realisation on the part of flatmate.
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:o ;D :demon:
I was lucky in halls, my room mate less so... we soon had our own fridge in our room, which may, or may not, have been mainly full of beer! :D
The only bone of contention in off-campus housing was whose turn it was to do the washing-up, which led to the occasional passive-aggressive note.
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Some fat bastard steals food from our fridge late at night.
:-[
Sausage roll with cheese anyone?
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It's amazing how the "it wasn't me!" reflex of schooldays leads grown adults to lie to one's face. (Beloved Stoker's cousin in her thirties, after deliberately bending the kitchen tongs for some reason, offered "it wasn't me" when I asked her not to damage the tools---and then, when I let the lie hang in the air, had a great go at Beloved Stoker saying I should have "given her a chance". Pathetic!)
If he's smoking cannabis, I suppose he may be getting a combination of the munchies and short-term memory loss meaning he steals your food and then doesn't remember doing so.
Surely the answer is a discrete webcam?
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When he was a college student in Edinburgh, he stayed in a shared student flat. One flatmate was extremely irritating, and a miser to boot. Said flatmate would buy foodstuffs in bulk at the start of term, and eat his way through them during term.
Sounds like an old, traditional Edinburgh student - sent up to Uni each term with a barrel of herrings, a barrel of oatmeal and a barrel of whisky!
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Fun though it is to discuss it in the abstract, administering poisons probably isn't the way forward :-\
The thing is, people who steal food from communal fridges are the same people who can't be arsed to do the household accounts when it comes to splitting up the utility bills...
I'll bet your son ends up being the sensible one who does all that. In fact, even if he's not; he ought to be. Julian's old university friend has such a wonderful phrase for the surcharge applied under such circumstances:
Twat tax :D
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Now, back to the revenge fantasy: pure capsaicin? (http://www.chileseeds.co.uk/pure_capsaicin.htm)
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I dealt with our first-year fridge thief by making a double-bastard* pot of chilli. The "yarargh"s were almost as satisfying as hearing that he'd been charged a taxi barf fine.
* My chilli habits at the time would set babies on fire in Patagonia, just by etheric backlash. A kind of bow-wave shock in the ether; similar to a supernova remnant igniting baby stars in its nebula. If you could curse while eating them, they were too mild: a good one reduced you to tears and desperate breathy hooting. That was single bastard.
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Rhys's solution, but in liquid form (pun intended :) )
Pure Cap: Hot sauce and chili sauce specialists (http://www.hot-headz.com/hot-sauce/Pure_Cap-911-3.html)
OR, if he is feeling REALLY evil....
Makan's Pharmacy
- Picolax (http://www.makanspharmacy.com/shop/customer/product.php?productid=6723&cat=312)
:demon: :demon: :demon:
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That was single bastard
;D
Don't forget that the fridge isn't the only area of the house to administer retribution though. I'm sure some of this distilled chilli stuff could find its way into e.g. toothpaste...you can use your imagination.
Is the son being victimised in this, or is the food thief stealing other people's food? A coordinated attack might be one way to go?
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As a kid, I ate a bar of ex lax. It is not an error you repeat. Would be very easy to use as an ingredient in cooking. Maybe in a roulade for comedic effect.
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It can be a nightmare. My eldest stepson would use anything and deny it - even when the evidence was so in your face that he knew I knew he was lying. If I pushed it, he would fly into a rage. Very very difficult to cope with, as he was 19 and to him I was just Mum's boyfriend. He's grown out of it and is a very fine young man now.
It happens in the workplace - people don't always grow out of it.
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I used to have a problem neighbour when in Halls of residence. She declared that she was vegan, and no-one was allowed to use any of her crockery, cutlery, cooking utensils etc, because this would contaminate it with Non-Veganness. Which would have been fine, had she not then proceeded to nick all our crockery, cutlery, cooking utensils etc and either (if we were lucky) leave it in the kitchen encrusted in congealed vegan nourishment, or (if we were unlucky) leave it under her bed to be discovered at the end of term. :sick:
Oddly enough, I seemed to be the only one irritated by this, so I let it be.
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Phenylpthalene;
instant and severe diahorrhea ;)
Didn't some famous US author spike his milk with LSD to find out who kept stealing it?
(the old lady two floors up apparently)
Yep, this is definetly the way to go any chemistry student will be able to supply phenolphthalein and the results will be spectacular (seen this done).
As to the legalities, can it really be illegal to doctor you own food?
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Some more good stuff here, thanks. My son does like his spicy food so I think that might be way to go.
As for bills and so on - the rent is inclusive per person so there are no additional costs so no way to default on payments.
The villain certainly isn't smoking B+H (if they are still going) hence the posibility of an eviction. He has set off the fire alarms on several occasion already. and yes Master Russell does have mild asthma.
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Perhaps with the smoking some surreptitous use of a camera phone might suffice to convince the landlord to kick him to the kerb.
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I dealt with our first-year fridge thief by making a double-bastard* pot of chilli. The "yarargh"s were almost as satisfying as hearing that he'd been charged a taxi barf fine.
* My chilli habits at the time would set babies on fire in Patagonia, just by etheric backlash. A kind of bow-wave shock in the ether; similar to a supernova remnant igniting baby stars in its nebula. If you could curse while eating them, they were too mild: a good one reduced you to tears and desperate breathy hooting. That was single bastard.
POTD!
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Perhaps with the smoking some surreptitous use of a camera phone might suffice to convince the landlord to kick him to the kerb.
Or perhaps the time-honoured 'anonymous tipoff' to the local plod that there's some drug (ab)use going down?
As far as chilli abuse goes, the high-point of my student cuisine days was when I was cooking up a batch of what came to be known as 'Bengal Bastard' (despite being chilli, not curry) with accompanying chilli soup and someone from the next block over asked us to shut the windows because they couldn't stand the smell ;D Those were the days - everyone chipped in, we cooked a BFO chilli and then proceeded down town to get completely plastered.
Perhaps I was fortunate that the other guys in the flat were chilli-heads too, so anyone stupid enough to raid our fridge would likely be getting a little more than they bargained for :demon:
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The thing is, people who steal food from communal fridges are the same people who can't be arsed to do the household accounts when it comes to splitting up the utility bills...
I'll bet your son ends up being the sensible one who does all that.
Oh god. Flashbacks.
My final year at university was notable for, amongst other things, developing altogether too much familiarity with Microsoft Excel than is optimal for one's mental health. The products of this were twofold:
a) A time-domain modelling of a cognitive neural network[1] on a scale that struck fear into the heart of Clippy and excessive heat into the woefully inadequate cooling system of my AMD Thunderbird.
b) The Grand Unified Spreadsheet of Doom. In which I decided that while all housemates had contributed by paying some utility bill or other, they weren't going to cancel out, and the only way to work out who owed what was to go through the entire archive for the house mailing list (we were geeky like that) for the last three years and spreadsheetify all bill payments. This worked surprisingly well once we persuaded the resident hobbit to tell us how much he'd secretly spent on water bills and council tax.
Needless to say, b) was much trickier, but sadly didn't earn any credits towards my dissertation. A discrepancy of several thousand of your earth pounds eventually changed hands, and while I was tempted to levy a hobbit tax[2] in the murky depths of some calculation that nobody would ever be arsed to check, I decided to take the moral high ground and be glad that I'd had the foresight to pay the ludicrously expensive ADSL bill, and was therefore on the receiving end of some of the payments.
Which, with hindsight, was bloody stupid. Especially as I did most of the cleaning, to the point of ending up on steroids. I'm sick of being the sensible one.
[1] My advice to anyone ever contemplating modelling neural networks in Excel: Don't.
[2] I figured I was probably entitled to compensation for having to deal with the effect on the drains of the insoluble residue formed when the hobbit's vegan soap mixed with the Canterbury carbonate in the water.
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[1] My advice to anyone ever contemplating modelling neural networks in Excel: Don't.
Fixed that for ya ;)
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Remember what you do to one bastard can be done to you - only this time it's war!
Personally, I wouldn't take the risk.
Small fridge seems the best answer.
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Rhys's solution, but in liquid form (pun intended :) )
Pure Cap: Hot sauce and chili sauce specialists (http://www.hot-headz.com/hot-sauce/Pure_Cap-911-3.html)
OR, if he is feeling REALLY evil....
Makan's Pharmacy
- Picolax (http://www.makanspharmacy.com/shop/customer/product.php?productid=6723&cat=312)
:demon: :demon: :demon:
Agent Picolax will do funny things to milk - but is virtually unnoticeable in orange juice. :demon:
But if using this option, make sure you have more than one loo in the house. ;)
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Agent Picolax will do funny things to milk - but is virtually unnoticeable in orange juice. :demon:
But if using this option, make sure you have more than one loo in the house. ;)
There's an amusingly unsavoury anecdote which explains how you know this, isn't there? ;)
Do tell... :demon:
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Sodium picosulfate - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Picolax)
A contact laxative?! :o
I'd have said that going for capsaicin would be the 'nuclear option' - evidently not.
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I believe an encounter with Picolax was described most graphically by some singletrack cyclist somewhere...
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Set fire to his bed. Throw his stuff in the bin and break his legs. Hope this helps.
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That was single bastard
;D
Don't forget that the fridge isn't the only area of the house to administer retribution though.
Ah but it's the only one that allows perfect deniability.
Chilli toothpaste and grenades in his soap is all very funny, but is arguably all sorts of criminal. I just made hot food and trusted to his predictable greed and larceny.
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I believe an encounter with Picolax was described most graphically by some singletrack cyclist somewhere...
It sure was - long, but very worthwhile read ;)
Singletrack | The Picolax Thread Returns (http://www.singletrackworld.com/2009/02/the-picolax-thread-returns/)
I assume it's prescription only?
We had bottles of (very cheap) wine that kept randomly vanishing from our kitchen in halls. One day we half filled a winebottle with a sample, and re-corked it, and left it on top of the fridge. Let's just say the cleaner wasn't very talkative the following Monday am ;)
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Blobs of blue food colouring on cheese or margarine tends to put people off. Best solution - do what I did and get your own 'fridge. In my case it was a cast-off from my parents, in pretty knackered condition, but I still sold it for £10 at the end of the third year.
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Writing "Milk experiment" on the milk was a favourite for years. Of course, I was a biochem student back then, which added veritas.
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Oxidising and Biological Sign. Danger Biohazard - From£5.00 each
(http://www.safetyshop.com/products/productdetail.asp?ProductCode=SL01AR&utm_source=google&utm_medium=basefeed)
HTH :)
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Whoever eat my biology experiment probably ought to go to the student health centre as soon as possible.
(of course someone in the house -- or a girl- or boyfriend -- has to be doing biology)
S
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Talking of biology experiments... when I was in school there was a particularly annoying character who always ate Pot Noodles at lunchtime. He must have done something to upset someone one day, because following a lesson on rat dissection, a certain part of the rodent's anatomy found its way into said Pot Noodle. He had no idea.
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I'd go with: "Please don't eat my food because it's stealing and please don't smoke inside because it stinks - and I'm asthmatic"
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That was single bastard
;D
Don't forget that the fridge isn't the only area of the house to administer retribution though.
Ah but it's the only one that allows perfect deniability.
Chilli toothpaste and grenades in his soap is all very funny, but is arguably all sorts of criminal. I just made hot food and trusted to his predictable greed and larceny.
We need to swap recipes.
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In my halls, as with all students there was a lot of betting regarding eating random crap. Eg everyone chipping in a fiver so my mate would eat a tin of a dog food. We realized that everytime you asked someone to sniff the milk to see if it was bad they'd refuse. So me and a mate washed out an old milk carton that was a month old, and filled it with fresh milk and rice pudding. Then we made a big pretend fuss of who left the old milk in the fridge etc, sloshing it around, sniffing it and pretending to retch, and then getting people to stump up 50 quid to watch me drink it. When its lumpy fake sour milk goodness was poured into a glass it did look very realistic, and the great thing was that no one was willing to sniff the milk to verify it was bad.
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So me and a mate washed out an old milk carton that was a month old, and filled it with fresh milk and rice pudding. Then we made a big pretend fuss of who left the old milk in the fridge etc, sloshing it around, sniffing it and pretending to retch, and then getting people to stump up 50 quid to watch me drink it.
You, sir, are a genius. :demon:
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methylene blue
That's what we used to do..
Blackcurrant yoghurt, peel back price label, inject and reseal. Shake well and put back in fridge.
Miscreant has a blue mouth and tongue for a week or so -'nuff said
IF you have access to a syringe, this can also make an interesting soft centre to mars bars etc.
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Ex-Lax can be good, especially repackaged in to a cadbury dairy milk wrapper and left slightly tucked out the way.
Generally these types of food wars are not good, small fridge in the room is safer.
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Perhaps with the smoking some surreptitous use of a camera phone might suffice to convince the landlord to kick him to the kerb.
Or perhaps the time-honoured 'anonymous tipoff' to the local plod that there's some drug (ab)use going down?
The shared house that I lived in a few years ago, had one semi-self contained flat in it, it had it's own kitchenette, but shared the bathroom with the rest of us (who had our own Kitchen).
One of the renters of this "flatette" was a bit of a nuisance, nothing terribly bad, but a variety of tiresome and irritating things, that meant none of us had much time for him, including the landlord.
We found out that he had a predilection for smoking non-traditional substances, and since several of us worked at a large sensitive government establishment, which had made it quite clear that any sniff of substance abuse would result in instant suspension, we weren't too happy about this.
The landlord was informed, who in turn contacted the police and offered them a spare key to nose around the place. They turned up one day, and knocked on his door (the inside door from the hallway into his flat) in case he was in. He was, and answered the door whilst smoking a spliff. ;D
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Agent Picolax will do funny things to milk - but is virtually unnoticeable in orange juice. :demon:
But if using this option, make sure you have more than one loo in the house. ;)
There's an amusingly unsavoury anecdote which explains how you know this, isn't there? ;)
Do tell... :demon:
I have had to take Picolax on quite a few occasions before have various exploratory procedures on my guts.
I think any doctor who wishes to prescribe should have to have tried it first.... :-X
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Agent Picolax will do funny things to milk - but is virtually unnoticeable in orange juice. :demon:
But if using this option, make sure you have more than one loo in the house. ;)
There's an amusingly unsavoury anecdote which explains how you know this, isn't there? ;)
Do tell... :demon:
I have had to take Picolax on quite a few occasions before have various exploratory procedures on my guts.
I think any doctor who wishes to prescribe should have to have tried it first.... :-X
I cannot agree with you more Reg. Not the most fun I have ever had with prescription drugs, that is for certain...
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Oxidising and Biological Sign. Danger Biohazard - From£5.00 each
(http://www.safetyshop.com/products/productdetail.asp?ProductCode=SL01AR&utm_source=google&utm_medium=basefeed)
HTH :)
Bah. We just used to nick a roll of tape from the lab (did I mention that I studied biology?) & label whatever seemed appropriate. Biohazard signs appearing on bedroom doors are one way to suggest an improvement in personal hygiene.
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I'd go with: "Please don't eat my food because it's stealing and please don't smoke inside because it stinks - and I'm asthmatic"
I'll go with a base ball bat!
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If this is a shared flat, surely laxative-spiking should be avoided as the OPs son will have to use the same toilet/bathroom afterwards? :sick:
I never had much experience of this at uni, but a mate used to lock his butter away in one of those treasure chest money boxes. It didn't take long before the perp just broke the lock open, such was his/her addiction to stolen butter.
Whilst all of these posts have kept me entertained during my lunch break, the reality is whatever he does has to be deniable and offputting as he's got to continue living with this guy and will quite likely find the thief spiking food in retribution. Is that a win?
I think the best idea was the drug to make you sick when you smoke. If this does exist, and is harmless if you don't smoke, get it in something your son doesn't use much. He doesn't smoke, so can eat it occasionally, the the thief feels awful in a way that seems unassociated with food theft - and continues to feel awful. Almost worth the price of the food.
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I'd go with: "Please don't eat my food because it's stealing and please don't smoke inside because it stinks - and I'm asthmatic"
Doesn't work. We tried that on our skanky food stealer. He specifically stole only from the non biologists/chemists and just carried on being a selfish git.
I do like some of these suggestions :D Thankfully I live with just Kim and we share food and don't finish the last of something without letting the other know so it's replaceable.
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For the fags, you used to be able to get tiny smokebomb pellets that would wedge inside the end of the fag. Remember nicking my dad's fags and secretly sticking a couple in when I was about 13. Got a rollocking that evening, cos he smoked that fag in the car while commuting half way up the A2 to London, and the car filled with smoke!
Wouldn't work so well these days, now that so many fags have to be smoked outdoors in the snow.
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Dunno - some humiliations work better when there is an audience of strangers to laugh and point.
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I'd go with: "Please don't eat my food because it's stealing and please don't smoke inside because it stinks - and I'm asthmatic"
::-) ::-)
Just get your lad to confront him again. When hes in the kitchen, with no way out tell him that he knows he is stealing his food. Tell him to not keep stealing it, its not his food to take. He can stand there saying he hasnt, but you know he has. If he does, things of his will go missing.
Starting with his lighters. It can be a bugger when you need a fag and you cant find a lighter. They are bound to be left about at some time, into the pocket then stomped on outside. Or take a bit out that renders the lighter useless. Or alter the lighter so the flame is massive
If he says that your stealing his lighters and whatever else gets taken, tell him its probably the same person stealing your food.
Or, smile at him one day to greet him, look him in the eye and smack him when he least expects it.
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As a bored teenager spending lots of time in hospital with a load of old blokes who smoked despite their dreadful COPD, I found that a fingernail clipping is easily inserted into the fag, and smells horrid as it burns.
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You can cut cut the string off the white paper tube that forms the explosive charge of a party popper to make a very satisfying cigarette banger.
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A traditional part of communal living is the laissez-faire attitude to the contents of the fridge by some housemates. The rule is that there is always one. Poisoning them, whilst immensely satisfactory, is generally not wise, since you just end up communal living on a larger scale courtesy of Her Maj. We solved the problem with our crappy student flatmate by simply having no food other than teabags, milk, and a vintage tub of Stork margarine. Since the milk was generally so advanced into its cheesehood that it would have scared a French man and Stork is made from fish heads and industrial byproducts, he was welcome to them. Well, nursey flatmate occasionally brought packages home and left them in the fridge, but it was generally accepted they were body parts, and as such, not to be unwrapped.
His pinnacle of uselessness was his inability to pay the rent in any other fashion than random payments distinguished by the fact that those payments were always far less than the amount owed. Eventually, at the end of term, in collusion with another housemate’s parents, whilst he was out, we loaded everything he owned into a van and had them take it away. We retreated to the pub to write a ransom note. Oh, he wasn’t happy when he got back to a room empty but for the note pinned to the wall. He did call the police but they weren’t, once we explained the matter over a soothing cup of cheesy tea, entirely sympathetic to his plight.
About a month or so after the end of term, we all met up in a empty car park in Salford and did the exchange. All his manky belongings in exchange for an envelope of cash. Oddly, he never spoke to us again.
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It has to be said that I only ever had a problem with food theft in the halls of residents. In the end I gave up buying anything interesting except to eat straightaway, kept anything not needing a fridge in my room etc.
I then copied everyone else and plundered stuff. Not very much and only once.
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It has to be said that I only ever had a problem with food theft in the halls of residents. In the end I gave up buying anything interesting except to eat straightaway, kept anything not needing a fridge in my room etc.
I then copied everyone else and plundered stuff. Not very much and only once.
Well, in halls, we didn't steal the food, we stole the fridge. Well, we didn't steal, we exchanged. Our empty slightly malodorous boy fridge for a well-stocked fridge from the female corridors. Evil, undoubtedly, but sometimes you have to indulge the inner caveman.