The title is a complete fabrication, even the third word. This was my take on Bealach na Ba sportif.
It starts in Kinlochewe, a small village with currently no running water. In the pipes at least. I had carefully planned the strategy for the ride. I was going with Charlie who is not the fastest on the uphills and was looking at this with some trepidation. There were nigh on a dozen from the club, and more from the other Dundee clubs so it was a good turn out.
Charlie and I rolled out at the back of 9 into the wind and rain. Straight after the start is a reasonable climb - too early on to be tacked hard as the legs will not have warmed up so we rode it at a gossip. From Achnasheen we hooked up with Ian and Sheila from the other club and the four of us rode a comfortable pace towards loch carron. Into the wind. And acquired quite a train. Encouragement failed to persuade them to take a turn on the front. Even sitting up and nigh on slamming the brakes on could not dislodge the wheel limpets, so we ignored them.
Cool conditions meant that we did not need to stop at the feed station at Loch Carron, instead tackling the climb up and overto Tornapress. I discovered I was goiung quite well - riding within myself and still passing people who looked like they should be much faster.
We regrouped at the base of the Bealach. The wind was noticeable. The rain was, well, raining. Dib the dibber at the base and set off up. I was soon ahead of my companions - we had agreed to regroup at the top. Again riding at a conservative pace but one which seemed to be no slouch. Ahead you could see a long line of riders heading their way up and I was gradually catching and passing them. Those who have seen me climb will realise that I was as surprised as you no doubt are.
As the climb got higher the wind got stronger. After the first third there were the first few walkers. And at least one person scrambling back up onto the road after a gust took him over the edge.
By now I was in my lowest gear (34/26) and moving up to my limit. Gusts lead to near trackstands and more were walking than riding. A young lass from another scottish club obviously didn't like the weather and was giving it some profane verbals. I responded by singing 'bring me sunshine' to which a number of others joined in. This lifted the spirits.
Past the first photographer with a wee sprint to make sure I was at the front of the group I was just passing. Along a bit and the road kicked up. combined with a strgthening inthe wind this was the final straw for my lower back and I had to engage the 24" gear. By this stage most were walking, a trail offluo yellow heading into the mist.
A few hundred metres, or may be a bit longer and we reached the zig zags. Intermittently riding I managed to make sure I was saddled up as I passed the second photographer but my back really couldn't take the strain of the sustained climbing. And my quads were starting to cramp from the cold and wet.
As the zig zags give way to the pass proper, the road evens out so we could ride over the top. Dib the timing dibber, though I was registering a time well over the hour, and refill teh water bottle.Another rider kindly shared the last banana with me.
I waited 10mins for my companions then the descent. Cold.Hnds cramping, tight turns, narrow roads and wind that would take you half way across the road in an instant. Cold. Shivering. Cramp in the hands. I know I am getting really chilled here. If I don't warm up soon I will have to pack as a further 40 miles in that condition would be crazy. Mountain rescue manned the worst of the bends on the descent.
We drop out of the cloud to the seascape vista of Applecross. Fantastic. As we descend the roads dry out (relatively) and the air warms up. The rain even starts to feel warm. Some fantastic flapjack later and we carry on. I was this >> << close to packing, and many did decide to call it a day after the Bealach.
The coast road from Applecross to Shieldaig goes on for about three hundred years. Up and down, it is a three and possibly four dimensional route. Very scenic though, the sort of riding I would love if I hadn't just been near hypothermic and got a dodgy back in a gale and a rainstorm. The longer climbs are playing havoc with my back and I have to stop and walk to ease it a few times. The rain stops. I take off my rain jacket. I start cycling. The rain starts again. Eventually Shieldaig arrives and we take amutually agreed cafe stop. Whilst consuming a very welcome cup of hot drink and trying to not drip too much on the cafe floor, conversation reveals that one of the other patrons was the lady who baked the gorgeous flapjack we had partaken of in Applecross.
Skipping the feed station, there is one more major climb over to Torridon that now provided no problem as we were fuelled by COFFEE, then, with the sun finally out and the rain away for a moment we blast along the road to Kinlochewe. This is a gentle rise, then a gentle descent. We are now really giving it some welly, extracting the final ounces of energy from tired legs. Cross the line. Dib the dibber. Enter the hall to a round of applause from the rest of the club who were waiting for us. A great spread, especially the bean stew. Final time 7h26m. There was some recognition of our common sense/ingenuity in managing to score a cup of coffee half way round.
Overall the event was very good. Well marshalled and reasonably well provisioned. Some hot drink at Applecross would have been a really good idea. I now have my certificate (or would have done if I hadn't left it in the car of the person who gaveme a lift!)
I'll refrain from commenting about the behaviour of certain riders who treated it as a race and were not being htemost responsible in their interactions with other road users.
If you want to do a strenuous and challenging sportif ride, then I can heartily recommend this one. Do not underestimate the terrain and the weather. When they have mountain rescue in stead of St Johns Ambulance, you realise it is a bit more severe than most.
And now my legs hurt.
